Have You Ever Faced Racism or Homophobia?

[StrawberryBlond 14,881]

I'm a white straight female, so anything that I've suffered has been extremely minor. I have had some users on GGD refer to me as "mayo" and to "shut your lily white mouth" before because I dared to voice a fair, valid opinion on race issues and have also been assumed to be racist because I'm white. And when I was at school, some people assumed I was a lesbian because I was quiet and reserved....nope, me neither. I still remember one of my friends once said to me "Rachel...are you gay or something?" It was when I was going through a rough patch with them, the bitchy patch that a lot of girls go through in female relationships and we remained friends and all and to be honest, I don't think she even remember this moment, but I sure do. Yes, I became bi-curious as time went on but never lesbian. But that's small fry in the grand scheme of things.

But here's some other racist stuff I've witnessed happening to others...

- My Chinese friend (who was not completely fluent in English at the time) asking me what "chinky" meant because she'd heard someone shout it to her in the corridor. That was an uncomfortable discussion I didn't think I'd have to have with a teenager. I felt like a mother who was trying to inform their child about the evils of the world in a softened way so it wouldn't hurt them much. Luckily, that was the worst thing that ever happened to her in school.

- Staying in a spa with a big bunch of girls from my Bollywood dance group while there was a Muslim wedding scheduled in another part of the hotel. One of the Indian girls was asked several times by random people if she was the one getting married today...even when she was walking about in freshly-washed damp hair, a robe and slippers. 

- My cousin moving to Bradford (Yorkshire, UK) where there is a big Muslim presence and becoming extremely close-minded in a way that she never was before, even using words like 'Paki' as a matter of course and saying that all Muslims should be rounded up and shot. Admittedly, all this has come from trauma. The stuff she's seen there - women being dictated to by their husbands and not appearing happy, Sharia areas that whites don't go near, dealing with Muslims customers at her job who don't speak English...these are valid issues that have affected her deeply and with good reason. But her reaction to it is overblown. Surely she must remember a time when she didn't generalise like this? I mean, she has a degree in religious studies, just like me, from the same university.

- My dad saying many countless things over the years. Usually from little moments put forward from the media. Saying that a black contestant wouldn't make it very far on The X Factor because he's black. Whenever a black contestant would go into the bottom two on any reality show, he would put on a mock-deep African tone and say "Is it cos I is black?" Repeatedly using the word 'darkie' in reference to a black person. Repeatedly using the term "Somali" to describe a black person in a negative situation (and when my mum and I challenged him on it and why he focused on Somalia specifically, he would say "Well you wouldn't like it if I said 'black,' would you?' and we went 'Yes we would, that is the correct term,' so thankfully, after that, he stopped saying it). My dad was born in 1950, so he was raised on racism, not because his parents were hateful but because it was just the accepted thing back then and he's just taken up the mantle. Yet, my mum was born in 1951 and she's not racist at all (even her own mother adapated to suit the times) so there's no excuse. I find that female baby boomers are more adaptable and accepting than male baby boomers in general. Thing is, I can tell my dad is just parroting the old ways he was brought up on because he's actually ok with minorities in every other way. He said good afternoon to a black woman passing by for no reason. He thinks Beyonce's attractive, taped her I Am Yours special and frequently sings the chorus from Single Ladies. He likes a lot of songs from black artists from years ago. He's laughed at jokes by Indian comedians. He gets along great with a Sri Lankan woman who's a friend of mum's and has danced with her and hugged her. So...it's just the words he uses sometimes, it's just learned behaviour. My mum and I challenge him every time he comes out with something stupid and I think it's finally getting through at long last.

 

And for homophobic stuff...

- Being asked our opinions on gay rights in our religious education class at school and we were asked: "Hands up if you think that being gay is wrong?" No one put their hands up except for one boy. When asked why he just went 'because it's not natural and disgusting.' The teacher then asked "And how many of you think being gay is acceptable?" And the other 99% of us put our hands up. The boy loudly said "Ugh!" A bittersweet win, for sure. I think something about homosexuality came up in a biology lesson once as well and a girl went "Why do people do that? I mean, it's just not meant to be." I just wish in both cases, there had been more of a challenge from the teacher.

- My online friend telling me that even though he's straight, he once got beaten up by some random guys who thought that he was gay purely because he had long hair.

- My dad saying "Oh, Jesus," every time a very flamboyant gay man appears on tv. Not in a religious sense, just in an exasperated, embarrassed sense. He's also worried that gay men use male public toilets in case they beast any straight men in there (he thinks the same for lesbians using female toilets too). When I asked him for any further validation for them needing a gay toilet, he said: "Because they're women." Luckily, I think mum and I have successfully coached him out of this notion and explained to him the difference between gays and transpeople. But we still have a long way to go. Again, just like the racist stuff, he gets along fine with everyone, it's just when he thinks he's in 'safe company' that he lets rip and mum and I have to bear the brunt of it.

BTW, @Kayla, where do you live? That's some 50's era discrimination going on there. I'm glad I don't have to witness that all the time.

[Whis 2,920]

In the first year of middle school 2 guys yelled '*******' and 'YOU VILE GAY' at me and I dragged them and threatened them (I'm much taller than almost everyone at my school) and they never did anything again 

This year a new guy at my school said 'oh look a fag' in the hallway and I just smiled and waved at him and he also didn't do anything since then. 

My school is very accepting, several teachers are gay, one of em is a sassy obvious bottom 

[Oriane 21,116]

I've never been a victim of it fortunately, I'm white in a white country (not that other "races" can't be racist to white people... It happens but people just turn a blind-eye on it or react with racism...). But of course I saw things like this, I've often heard or read racist/homophobic things from different people. It's unbelievable that there are still people who think these kinds of things.

[Ikvs 2,576]

I experience homophobia everyday by my father.

[LePetitGAGABLover 21,234]

Not really. And its funny because my sisters look white (my dad is white), but they HAVE experienced racism. 

[River 117,254]

I live in France at the moment:

Homophobia - only from French Muslims, when my husband and I are holding hands or kissing on the street or at any place, 95% of the times we hear curses, screams "stop it!" or almost violence against us..

Racism -

From White French - as an Israeli with Iraqi origins, my skin is dark and I look like a common Muslim, so I get a lot of curses, sometimes people are keeping safe their bags when I stand next to them on the Tram and so on..

From French Muslims - When I'm talking on the phone and in Hebrew on the street and showing my Israeli identity I get a lot of bad comments, sometimes they are spitting on me, few times they used violence..

In Israel:

Homophobia - if it's not Tel-Aviv, the majority is homophobic, it's scary to show your "gayness" on the street.. it's better to stay next to students areas just to feel safe as a couple for example..

The Jewish Orthodox are heavily homophobic and can use violence.. I have some bad experiences with them..

Racism - well.. if you are not a White European Jewish, you are considered as a low level citizen, a thief  and your chances to have a good title in your job are very low...

When I worked as a subscription seller for Haaretz newspaper I had a customer who didn't want to sign a contract with me and she said "I will only sign this contract with Ashkenazi, not with you stinky Mizrahi" I felt bad but I told her "a customer like you is not welcomed" and she left angry..

[bliaz 897]

 Everyday was a nightmare in my life. They called me joto, puto, maricón, (f*****, etc...). Long long sad story. 

[Kayla 7,595]

@StrawberryBlond I grew up in a town in Ohio, USA - population of about 35,000. My mom's and stepdad's side of the family were the type of family where they were racist in the past, but with each new generation it's faded out. (Minus a few cousins who are oddly more racist than some of the older people... ) But my dad and stepmom's families are the ones that are hella racist and pass it onto their kids willingly. 

[Kayla 7,595]

12 hours ago, monsterdino said:

Omg you are surrounded by racist white ppl, please when someone says something racist in your presence point it out and if they deny it or agree that that's ok then fight back. This is definitely not ok, not at all

In my current age I definitely do point it out. I pointed it out maybe like...half the time when I was a teenager and wasn't as well-versed on the issues and topics.