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Perfect Disillusion: A Confession


PunkTheFunk

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PunkTheFunk

dis·il·lu·sion

ˌdisəˈlo͞oZHən/

noun

1. the disappointment resulting from the discovery that something is not as good as one believed it to be.

...

ANTICIPATION

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I tried to make a home out of you, but doors lead to trap doors, a chorus leads to nothing.

I waited till 11:00pm EST, headphones in, mouth dry. Waited patiently for the Australian man on the radio to tell me you were coming. My b*ssy throbbed; my scalp quivered. In the final minutes before you arrive I claw my way into the GGD Chatroom and find company among strangers; wade into a tide of Gretchen Gifs and exclamations. The Symphony in Hype Major rises to its brilliant crescendo.

Time slows. I inhale; forget to exhale; forget I left a pizza pocket in the microwave. There is no time to remember anything anymore.

...

CONFUSION

[little girl singing from a distance] Lady Gaga had a song. PI-PI-oh! And on that song she had some synths. PI-PI-oh!

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You come and go in a flash, like Kim K's 72-day marriage, or J.C. Chasez's solo career. I stand with open arms, waiting to greet you, and you dart past me into the fog.

I can't hear the sound of hair being ripped mercilessly from my head. Maybe I miss it, and perhaps I should be afraid, but I am caught in the throes of the chatroom, swept up in homosexual excitement, tossed and turned like a plaything. How do I love thee, Perfect Illusion? I proclaim with gifs and all caps. Let me count the ways. I listen to you, five, ten, twenty times consecutively; make love to you without an ear condom, convinced that I am finally able to gather your truth; that I am finally able to love you.

I listen to you again when I awake the next morning, and I can't recognize you. My heart sinks like a Koons ball filled with lead.

...

DENIAL

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I tried to change. Listened to you on my way to work and back. Closed my mouth more, tried to be gayer, less awake. Fasted for half a day, wore jeans, abstained from McDonald's New Thai Sweet Chili Chicken McTaster. In that time, the hair on my chin grew about 1/16th of an inch. I slept on my couch. I swallowed a piece of tin foil by accident during lunch. I farted. Went to the bathroom, confessed my sins, and was baptized in the shower. I got on my knees and said 'perfect illusion' three times.

My weave stayed put. No traces of blood on my scalp. I wept.

...

MISERY

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Forgive me, Perfect Illusion, because my cold gay heart is not big enough to love you. Forgive me, because I don't have the courage to look you in the eye.

I weep for you, because you are a lion trapped in a tiny, 3-minute sliver of time. Your vocals are too potent for this life. You give me no chance to breathe and collect myself. Your production deserves greater things. You must be set free.

Let the time-worn cliche stand: it's not you -- it's me.

...

HOPE

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lol who the f*ck cares if I don't like PI. Gaga's lead singles are hardly the best songs on her albums anyway so I'm not worried at all. Gimme that Florence Welch collab that I'm gonna love

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Katsuki Bakugo

I don't mind the negativity- but whats with Bey? 

If All You Ever Do Is Look Down On People, You Won't Be Able To Recognize Your Own Weaknesses.
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dannydevito

this looks like a thing a junkie artist would write while inhaling the evaporated blood of a pig cuz according to him it makes him 'look younger'

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Chris Evans

I mean that's fine... the only thing is literally everyone who didn't like it felt some need to make a thread like this and bombard us with all around unnecessary negativity 

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spookyelectric

I agree with you, I'm gonna wait for the album before making a final judgement.

I was disappointed with Britney's Make Me but it grew on me and now I love it and the album is full of bops :)

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PunkTheFunk
1 minute ago, dannydevito said:

this looks like a thing a junkie artist would write while inhaling the evaporated blood of a pig cuz according to him it makes him 'look younger'

you know me so well

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THIS IS AMAZING 

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It is not our differences that divide us. It is our inability to recognize, accept, and celebrate those differences. - Audre Lorde
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KyliesChild
7 minutes ago, Melisandre said:

I don't mind the negativity- but whats with Bey? 

Have you not watched Lemonade?

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Shipper

Is this a fanfiction?

 

💕📦💕📦💕📦💕📦💕📦💕📦💕📦💕📦💕📦💕📦💕📦💕📦💕📦💕📦💕📦💕📦💕📦💕📦💕📦💕📦💕📦💕📦💕📦💕📦💕
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13VictorC
10 minutes ago, AlexanderLevi2 said:

Do people really take pop music this personal these days? :oprah:

This is not pop. This is ARTPOP. :sis:

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Give it a break. I'm not really a gaga fan, but I have to deal always with this kind of threads/opinions with Britney.. I give gaga a big credit for coming out of the comfort zone and deliver this song, with this sound, the album is going to be amazing, sure it's not her best but for what I can hear, LG5 will be one of a hell album, mark my words..

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PunkTheFunk
19 minutes ago, Shipper said:

Is this a fanfiction?

When life gives you new Gaga music you make Lemonade

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