Varo Yan 2,984 Posted August 28, 2016 Share Posted August 28, 2016 Later in spring, early in summer I have had very difficult times ... I've had some problems and difficulties in my life, and all these sad moments and I'm inspiring and writing lyrics, poems... Now when I feeling good and confident, I want to share with you some piece of my inner world. I think it's happend with you and feel same emotions... hope you like it ) If you find any grammar mistakes please write me, thank you. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aleks 3,946 Posted August 28, 2016 Share Posted August 28, 2016 Great job! I love it. We don’t really need to talk too much, show each other what we know 🦋 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saint Laurent 4,862 Posted August 28, 2016 Share Posted August 28, 2016 The last two lines of the first verse don't work together at all, unless you wanted to say something like: 'I'm really hoping when the night comes/ That nobody saw my tear drops'. The 'when I'm in sadness' line is a little clumsy, it's not grammatically wrong I suppose, but it is a little clumsy, people don't usually say 'I'm in sadness'. The two lines that succeed that line do not make sense at all grammatically, but I don't really know what you're saying so I can't fix it. 'pains' should really be changed to pain. You've said you want to 'tell [them] how to heal', but then go on to say that you're 'scared [they'll] steal your remedies', which is contradictory. The first line of the final verse is really out of place, but the rest of that verse is quite nice. - For some reason I found myself singing this as if it were in a disney film. Not bad lyrics overall. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Varo Yan 2,984 Posted August 28, 2016 Author Share Posted August 28, 2016 Thank you all @Saint Laurent I'm very appreciated, I want to improve my English Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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