Life is short...

[Didymus 34,379]

2 minutes ago, Bradley Cooper said:

the OP seems like he genuinely wants to change the culture here on GGD

Well, guess what, telling people they're wasting their time by expressing what they want to express is not going to help. Which is why I threw his Buddhist mention back at him. Kindness is not about changing the bad and spreading the good, it's about finding a way to respect everyone and accept the way they live their lives without trying to change it according to your standard. Buddhism has no message of change. Only of acceptance of reality as it is. And that includes being around people who like to talk about things you don't want to deal with.

I don't have a problem with the lecture dimension in the post, but with the idea that it's carrying out the message he's trying to send. There's a disconnect there, and that's all I wanted to point out: hence I wrote that what he's saying is automatically annulling what he's trying to say.

[Bradley 59,023]

40 minutes ago, Didymus said:

I think they're both equally trivial pursuits. Trying to tell someone what to do, based on whatever authority you imagine yourself to have, is not admirable in any way in my book.

The only real difference between fans complaining about LG5 and the intent of this thread is that the latter imagines itself to be above the concept of complaining because it's actually based on "correct morality", but that's not very different from the Gaga fans imagining themselves to be correct for demanding stuff from Gaga based on the fact that they've supported her all this way and they're not getting anything valuable back anymore.

Just because things sound nice and idealistic doesn't mean it's different from what's being complained about.

Here's how I see it:

There's a difference between genuinely giving people advice from the intention of kindness and giving a lecture to others because they want to feel superior and more moral than you. The latter is negative in nature, because it results from pride, whereas the former is good-hearted in nature, it's like

"Hey, not that I want to make you look bad or something, but I've tried this and it's been useful to me, I'm introducing this to you, hopefully you can derive benefits from this too." It's like Gaga saying 'We know kindness works, and we want you to agree on this because it is good for you."

You can respond in two ways

"Hey, Gaga, I don't need you to give a lecture to me, I know how to live my life!"

or alternatively you could try out her way and see if you derive benefits from his/her sharings, if you don't then move on, but not everyone giving others a piece of advice is antagonistic or prideful in nature.

[Didymus 34,379]

Just now, Sara said:

Life is too short to spend it on trivial things, and yet we all spend it on trivial things (like moderating a Gaga fan site) to some degree.      However, there is nothing wrong with someone reminding us from time to time of the bigger picture, let we waste our whole lives on trivial pursuits. 

I never said there was something wrong about it holy hell. What are you people reading. Not my post, that's for sure. I talked about a specific issue I saw in his post, and responded to the theme of kindness in it and what it's supposed to mean in the context he's bringing up.

I don't know how people should spend their time, and I don't care about suggesting people to do it a certain way either. But when someone is going to make a statement in public that is supposed to address everyone on this forum I will speak my mind about it because on this forum a dialogue is supposed to happen. And I find it reprehensible that there are people who are trying to shame me for even responding in a way that's not in perfect agreement with the OP, remember where you are, pls.

[Didymus 34,379]

1 minute ago, Bradley Cooper said:

not everyone giving others a piece of advice is antagonistic or prideful in nature.

I never said that. I'm not talking about advice, I'm talking about someone claiming that other people are wasting their time.

Now can you and your colleague Sara please return to the original meaning of my first post, or just don't quote me, what do you guys want?

[Sara 1,128]

1 minute ago, Didymus said:

I never said that. I'm not talking about advice, I'm talking about someone claiming that other people are wasting their time.

Now can you and your colleague Sara please return to the original meaning of my first post, or just don't quote me, what do you guys want?

If we are misinterpreting your post, then perhaps you weren't clear?  Or we just misread?  Go back to your first post.  What are you really saying?  It seems to me you are saying that lecturing about kindness is not kind.  And that complaining on a forum about complaining on a forum contradicts itself.

Is that not what you meant?

[giskardsb 12,565]

30 minutes ago, Sara said:

Life is too short to spend it on trivial things, and yet we all spend it on trivial things (like moderating a Gaga fan site) to some degree.      However, there is nothing wrong with someone reminding us from time to time of the bigger picture, let we waste our whole lives on trivial pursuits. 

 

this is all that was meant really.

and for @Didymusand others,

And yes, I'm a hypocrite, and yes the OP is proof that I let "small" things bother me as well, and yes complaining about the complainers doesn't really help improve the site.  And yes, the cynical point of view is most often correct, and the world likes to complain (including me), and the internet is a mess, and that's just the way it is, people are thin skinned, shouldn't take it seriously, yada yada.

And it will always be that way as long as people don't believe it can change, and don't want it to change. 

Gaga dares to think different, and her fanbase belittles her for being a dreamer and not realistic, and then complains that she shouldn't be wasting time with such things and just put out LG5 already.

And yes Buddhism is about accepting things as they are; but that doesn't mean you don't also work for improvement. 

 

 

 

 

[Didymus 34,379]

6 minutes ago, Sara said:

If we are misinterpreting your post, then perhaps you weren't clear?

If I wasn't clear the first time, I was perfectly clear the second, third, and fourth times. Don't bother now.

5 minutes ago, giskardsb said:

And yes @Didymus, Buddhism is about accepting things as they are; but that doesn't mean you don't also work for improvement. 

Absolutely. And I never wanted to judge you for making this thread in general. I just thought there was a contradiction there that destabilizes your efforts, and I wanted to say something about that because I think it's a nice topic to think about: how do we bring kindness in the world, truly? By pointing out the bad seeds (to use a concept Gaga used so carelessly) or for accepting their presence and working from there? I lean to the latter, especially on a forum where people are literally asked to speak their minds.

[Sara 1,128]

31 minutes ago, Didymus said:

Now can you and your colleague Sara please return to the original meaning of my first post, or just don't quote me, what do you guys want?

 

2 minutes ago, Didymus said:

If I wasn't clear the first time, I was perfectly clear the second, third, and fourth times. Don't bother now.

So.......should I go back to your first post or ignore your first post?

[Saint Laurent 4,862]

My deepest condolences for your lost.

You're right, life is short, but please bear in mind that life is also personal. Some people choose to spend their time 'bitching' because they're 'thirsty', some people choose to spend their life doing humanitarian work. However, I think it is wrong to judge either for their life choices. I understand your perspective because of your loss, but lets try to not judge others on their life choice.

I'm not speaking from personal experience, as I just enjoy the artistry, but for some people Gaga's music has a certain healing and life-affirming element to it. Maybe some people crave Gaga music because of it's message as I'm sure you are aware, it has helped many people. So It's not as black and white as 'music is just music, it's not life or death, stop bitching', bear that in mind when judging others. 

[giskardsb 12,565]

[JDi 1,495]

Just now, Sara said:

 

So.......should I go back to your first post or ignore your first post?

you got it all wrong. you simply shouldn't bother. and neither should Gaga.

you should just stick to speaking in Correct about "working from there" by stating you "accept the presence" of negativity without further ado. that alone will "work from there" to bring all the kindness this world needs. very convenient. I'm sure Gaga wishes she had thought of using a concept as compelling as this one.

[Sara 1,128]

Just now, JDi said:

you got it all wrong. you simply shouldn't bother. and neither should Gaga.

you should just stick to speaking in Correct about "working from there" by stating you "accept the presence" of negativity without further ado. that alone will "work from there" to bring all the kindness this world needs. very convenient. I'm sure Gaga wishes she had thought of using a concept as compelling as this one.

So, if someone is being really bad, I should not call them out for it, but rather just accept them and work from there?

I do accept them as people, and I understand that if I were in their shoes I might believe the things they believe or act the way they act, nevertheless, should I not point out that what they are saying or doing is awful?

If I say something that comes across the wrong way, or is insensitive, I honestly hope that others DO correct me rather than just accepting me. 

 

[JDi 1,495]

Just now, Sara said:

So, if someone is being really bad, I should not call them out for it, but rather just accept them and work from there?

I do accept them as people, and I understand that if I were in their shoes I might believe the things they believe or act the way they act, nevertheless, should I not point out that what they are saying or doing is awful?

If I say something that comes across the wrong way, or is insensitive, I honestly hope that others DO correct me rather than just accepting me. 

 

that was sarcasm  

Didymus is just too smart for his own good. he should go get a swimming pool membership card asap.

[Sara 1,128]

30 minutes ago, Saint Laurent said:

You're right, life is short, but please bear in mind that life is also personal. Some people choose to spend their time 'bitching' because they're 'thirsty', some people choose to spend their life doing humanitarian work. However, I think it is wrong to judge either for their life choices. I understand your perspective because of your loss, but lets try to not judge others on their life choice.

If someone I know has a friend who just died, and they are very focused on the temporary nature of life at the moment, and they come up to me and say "Sara, life is short!  Don't spend it doing trivial things", I'm going to let that slide.  First of all, I know they are right, and I should appreciate that advice, but even if I disagree, I'm at least going to let them have a pass, because I know they are upset.

 

[Didymus 34,379]

15 minutes ago, Sara said:

So, if someone is being really bad, I should not call them out for it, but rather just accept them and work from there?

I do accept them as people, and I understand that if I were in their shoes I might believe the things they believe or act the way they act, nevertheless, should I not point out that what they are saying or doing is awful?

If I say something that comes across the wrong way, or is insensitive, I honestly hope that others DO correct me rather than just accepting me. 

Didn't you claim to be a Buddhist a year ago? You should know what I'm talking about. I'm not talking about accepting things and then leaving it at that. I literally said I agreed with giskardsb that we should all work for improvement. But I don't believe that is going to work the best way by shaking a kid and yelling "BE NICE TO OTHERS!" without them understanding why that's in their best interest.