Inside Rihanna s world

[StrawberryBlond 14,873]

49 minutes ago, Steve Nasty said:

This is such bullshit tho I find mens chest attractive and they can walk around with it out all the time - yet i still wanna have sex with them. Doesn't mean their nudity doesn't turn me on. 

Because men's chests aren't sexualised like women's are. It's a completely different ball game. Women's breasts are seen as almost on equal level with genitalia, so it's not like we can be not turned on by them unless it's in an artistic form. And even then, some people can't tell the difference.

45 minutes ago, Higher said:

Why is that homophobic racist troll not banned yet. 

I'm not homophobic or racist. Don't let Harry manipulate you into thinking that. If you had a non-biased, respectful chat with me, you'd know how uneducated those remarks are. I've been one of the most tolerant people around since I was born and no one had to teach me to be that way. And the mods don't think I'm racist or homophobic, by the way. I should know, they've explicitly stated so.

44 minutes ago, Harry said:

Yet you can slam my name and opinion cos I'm a gay man? okay. Don't see what was disrespectful about what I said.

I don't even know if Ciccone Madonna is a man or a woman.

I know what my stance is. You make decisions for other people, which I don't think is respectful.

Sorry, but that's how you seem to be. And I don't see how that's worse than you trying to make me out as a woman-hater.

I never slammed your name and opinion because you're gay. I make one criticism about how some gay men act and that makes me homophobic? Considering it's a criticism about how some of them treat women, as a woman supporter, you should listen up.

Ciccone Madonna just stated that she's a woman in her first post in reference to me.

I don't make decisions for other people, I make suggestions. Know the difference.

SEEM to be and ARE are two different things. You've got it into your head that I'm something and you've got it all wrong. If you really knew me, you'd think different.

43 minutes ago, Bio said:

What? It took 6 lines for you to contradict yourself lol. You don't think people would get desensitized to nipples but if nipples are out all the time people would get bored of it and not find it sexy? Your logic makes no sense. If people get sexually harassed it is because of the harassers and not the victims. 

I didn't contradict myself at all. By getting bored of it, I mean that we'd think "oh, here she comes again with her bits out." Just like how people were saying here: "Another Rihanna video with nipples, what else is new." That doesn't mean we're desensitized, it's about being ironically turned off when we see gratuitous nudity in public. Yes, the sexual harassers are to blame but that doesn't mean they aren't attracted to easy targets. They'd be more likely to assault a topless woman than a clothed woman given the chance. Like everything in life, don't make yourself an easy target and you'll be safer. There's no 100% guarantees, but your chances are increased.

[Benji 20,113]

10 minutes ago, StrawberryBlond said:

I didn't contradict myself at all. By getting bored of it, I mean that we'd think "oh, here she comes again with her bits out." Just like how people were saying here: "Another Rihanna video with nipples, what else is new." That doesn't mean we're desensitized, it's about being ironically turned off when we see gratuitous nudity in public. Yes, the sexual harassers are to blame but that doesn't mean they aren't attracted to easy targets. They'd be more likely to assault a topless woman than a clothed woman given the chance. Like everything in life, don't make yourself an easy target and you'll be safer. There's no 100% guarantees, but your chances are increased.

I don't want to jump on you too, because even I think people are being a little extra with you but I think it's the fact you're stating your opinion as a fact.

I understand your point about women who dress provocatively but there was a movement trying to debunk that thought where rape victims showed people what they were wearing... surprisingly, it was completely average because there's no correlation between what someone wears and their chances of being raped. It doesn't seem to be about sex or even who or what is "attractive" when it comes to rape, it seems to be all about power so they pray on the vulnerable; the ones who DON'T have the confidence to wear less etc.

Just my two cents, I don't think people should be jumping on you but you're stating opinions like they are facts. It's going to get people riled.

[StrawberryBlond 14,873]

8 minutes ago, Benji said:

I don't want to jump on you too, because even I think people are being a little extra with you but I think it's the fact you're stating your opinion as a fact.

I understand your point about women who dress provocatively but there was a movement trying to debunk that thought where rape victims showed people what they were wearing... surprisingly, it was completely average because there's no correlation between what someone wears and their chances of being raped. It doesn't seem to be about sex or even who or what is "attractive" when it comes to rape, it seems to be all about power so they pray on the vulnerable; the ones who DON'T have the confidence to wear less etc.

Just my two cents, I don't think people should be jumping on you but you're stating opinions like they are facts. It's going to get people riled.

I think I should be given a bit more consideration because I'm a woman. I've lived it. I know what I'm talking about. If it's a discussion about women, shouldn't they be doing most of the talking? Yet, all I get is men telling me how to feel, that I'm overreacting, that I'm being a prude. This is why feminism can't get anywhere. When a woman speaks up, she's shot down, especially by men trying to silence her. I do base a lot of my opinions on facts that I have researched. I've been researching female statistics for about 12 years now. I know what I'm about.

Yes, a woman can get raped whatever she's wearing but I'm actually, it is a fact that rapists go after particularly vulnerable types. And sorry no, that doesn't translate into "the ones who didn't have the confidence to dress provocatively." It is commonly documented that the women who are assaulted/raped in nightclubs tend to be the ones who are dressed provocatively, including attire that's hard to run in (tight, short skirts, stilettos). Most of the women who got their drinks spiked were the ones who weren't keeping an eye on their drink and the ones who got drunk. Date rapers don't go after the mousey women in high neck tops who are completely sober and keeping a hand firmly over their drinks. They go after the ones who are drunk off their face and leaving their drink to go up and dance. This is just a fact. Date rapers don't care who they get, young or old, hot or ugly, but they do go after vulnerable types who are letting their guard down. And that's the ones that are provocatively dressed and are getting drunk. That's why I always encourage women if they're going to go out dressed provocatively to always have a group of friends who make sure everyone gets home, never leave your drinks, don't get drunk and make sure you keep enough money aside to get home and your phone is charged. Doing all these things increases your chances tenfold of getting home safe. I do this for the compassion of women everywhere. I am saddened that even some feminists are trashing this theory and are saying that women bear no responsibility for what happens to them. No, we all have to take responsibility for ourselves in this cruel world because no one's going to take responsibility for us. And our choices have consequences, even if they're not our fault. Put it this way, even if the worst does happen, if you've taken all the precautions, you can honestly say that you can't be blamed for your misfortune. Unlike those poor girls who blame themselves everyday for what happened because they got drunk and whatnot. I don't want women to feel that overwhelming sense of unnecessary guilt. Keep on your guard and keep yourself safe - there's nothing more empowering.

[Benji 20,113]

jfc I'm out

[Higher 2,406]

.

 

[Harry 26,836]

14 minutes ago, StrawberryBlond said:

I think I should be given a bit more consideration because I'm a woman. I've lived it. I know what I'm talking about. If it's a discussion about women, shouldn't they be doing most of the talking? Yet, all I get is men telling me how to feel, that I'm overreacting, that I'm being a prude. This is why feminism can't get anywhere. When a woman speaks up, she's shot down, especially by men trying to silence her. I do base a lot of my opinions on facts that I have researched. I've been researching female statistics for about 12 years now. I know what I'm about.

Yes, a woman can get raped whatever she's wearing but I'm actually, it is a fact that rapists go after particularly vulnerable types. And sorry no, that doesn't translate into "the ones who didn't have the confidence to dress provocatively." It is commonly documented that the women who are assaulted/raped in nightclubs tend to be the ones who are dressed provocatively, including attire that's hard to run in (tight, short skirts, stilettos). Most of the women who got their drinks spiked were the ones who weren't keeping an eye on their drink and the ones who got drunk. Date rapers don't go after the mousey women in high neck tops who are completely sober and keeping a hand firmly over their drinks. They go after the ones who are drunk off their face and leaving their drink to go up and dance. This is just a fact. Date rapers don't care who they get, young or old, hot or ugly, but they do go after vulnerable types who are letting their guard down. And that's the ones that are provocatively dressed and are getting drunk. That's why I always encourage women if they're going to go out dressed provocatively to always have a group of friends who make sure everyone gets home, never leave your drinks, don't get drunk and make sure you keep enough money aside to get home and your phone is charged. Doing all these things increases your chances tenfold of getting home safe. I do this for the compassion of women everywhere. I am saddened that even some feminists are trashing this theory and are saying that women bear no responsibility for what happens to them. No, we all have to take responsibility for ourselves in this cruel world because no one's going to take responsibility for us. And our choices have consequences, even if they're not our fault. Put it this way, even if the worst does happen, if you've taken all the precautions, you can honestly say that you can't be blamed for your misfortune. Unlike those poor girls who blame themselves everyday for what happened because they got drunk and whatnot. I don't want women to feel that overwhelming sense of unnecessary guilt. Keep on your guard and keep yourself safe - there's nothing more empowering.

Maybe the attention should be placed on telling young boys that it's not okay to rape people. That feels like a bigger issue to me.

None of your post criticises or even addresses the people carrying out the act of rape. You're just telling people to do their best to avoid them, even though they will always exist unless we stop this blatant gender inequality from a young age. How is giving girls a list of rules to abide by progressive or constructive when guys can just go out and do whatever they want? This does not feel equal.

"...if you've taken all the precautions, you can honestly say that you can't be blamed for your misfortune. Unlike those poor girls who blame themselves everyday for what happened because they got drunk and whatnot."

This cannot be a serious quote...

[malazam 15,710]

I really like her but  'I feel we are witnessing a cultural revolution'

guys, srsly

[Benji 20,113]

1 hour ago, StrawberryBlond said:

I think I should be given a bit more consideration because I'm a woman. I've lived it. I know what I'm talking about. If it's a discussion about women, shouldn't they be doing most of the talking? Yet, all I get is men telling me how to feel, that I'm overreacting, that I'm being a prude. This is why feminism can't get anywhere. When a woman speaks up, she's shot down, especially by men trying to silence her. I do base a lot of my opinions on facts that I have researched. I've been researching female statistics for about 12 years now. I know what I'm about.

Yes, a woman can get raped whatever she's wearing but I'm actually, it is a fact that rapists go after particularly vulnerable types. And sorry no, that doesn't translate into "the ones who didn't have the confidence to dress provocatively." It is commonly documented that the women who are assaulted/raped in nightclubs tend to be the ones who are dressed provocatively, including attire that's hard to run in (tight, short skirts, stilettos). Most of the women who got their drinks spiked were the ones who weren't keeping an eye on their drink and the ones who got drunk. Date rapers don't go after the mousey women in high neck tops who are completely sober and keeping a hand firmly over their drinks. They go after the ones who are drunk off their face and leaving their drink to go up and dance. This is just a fact. Date rapers don't care who they get, young or old, hot or ugly, but they do go after vulnerable types who are letting their guard down. And that's the ones that are provocatively dressed and are getting drunk. That's why I always encourage women if they're going to go out dressed provocatively to always have a group of friends who make sure everyone gets home, never leave your drinks, don't get drunk and make sure you keep enough money aside to get home and your phone is charged. Doing all these things increases your chances tenfold of getting home safe. I do this for the compassion of women everywhere. I am saddened that even some feminists are trashing this theory and are saying that women bear no responsibility for what happens to them. No, we all have to take responsibility for ourselves in this cruel world because no one's going to take responsibility for us. And our choices have consequences, even if they're not our fault. Put it this way, even if the worst does happen, if you've taken all the precautions, you can honestly say that you can't be blamed for your misfortune. Unlike those poor girls who blame themselves everyday for what happened because they got drunk and whatnot. I don't want women to feel that overwhelming sense of unnecessary guilt. Keep on your guard and keep yourself safe - there's nothing more empowering.

I was debating whether to reply to this or not because I know it's not going to get anywhere but let's give it a go anyway.

I quote you saying that your way of posting your opinions as facts is probably what's rubbing people the wrong way, then you literally come at me with your usual "I've researched this" blah blah blah "I'm a woman, I'm allowed my opinion, you're not" blah blah blah.... I'm surprised you didn't bring up likes again? Hmm.

Now, don't get me wrong. I'm all for people having their own opinions but that's what all of this is, an opinion. Just because you're comfortable writing a wall of text or you haven't learnt how to make a concise post doesn't mean that anyone here is below you and their opinion isn't as equally as important as yours. You can't sit and wonder why people get sh*tty with you when you post a controversial opinion (as a fact) and then attempt to shut everyone down who offers an alternative view. I've noticed more people are getting sh*tty with you, and whilst I hate to see anyone being jumped on like people have done to you... I honestly can't blame them for wanting to do so.

People have already quoted you saying what I wanted to say, but just know I completely disagree with you on this and I think you do too considering you're disagreeing with yourself in other posts but it's cool.

[StrawberryBlond 14,873]

20 hours ago, Harry said:

Maybe the attention should be placed on telling young boys that it's not okay to rape people. That feels like a bigger issue to me.

None of your post criticises or even addresses the people carrying out the act of rape. You're just telling people to do their best to avoid them, even though they will always exist unless we stop this blatant gender inequality from a young age. How is giving girls a list of rules to abide by progressive or constructive when guys can just go out and do whatever they want? This does not feel equal.

"...if you've taken all the precautions, you can honestly say that you can't be blamed for your misfortune. Unlike those poor girls who blame themselves everyday for what happened because they got drunk and whatnot."

This cannot be a serious quote...

This is a very good point and one I'm in support of. But it's so often seen as the be all and end all when it comes to discussing how to stop rape. Telling people not to rape is never that simple. And note I said people, not boys, because isn't it important that girls are taught not to rape too? Can't girls rape other girls? (I actually read a story from a woman who said her friend told her it wasn't possible for her to have been raped because girls couldn't rape other girls). Girls could even be capable of raping men, if they drugged them, or were simply bigger and stronger (another true story I read from a guy, again, who no one believed as they didn't think it was possible for women to rape men). When it comes to rape, we should ALL be educated. But even if we do educate, the problem is, not everyone listens. We teach children not to steal or kill for example, so why do some grow up to steal and kill? Teaching them not to rape is no different: some will listen, some will not. Therefore, it's important that girls know how to stop themselves being victims of those whose warped minds will not listen. It's no different to when we tell children how to be safe when crossing the street and don't trust strangers. The idea is that while you may just be going about your business and are doing nothing wrong, there might be some scumbag out there could take advantage of your relaxed vulnerability.

Rape is an issue that disproportionally affects women and thousands are raped every year. Something that severe makes it absolutely imperative that girls are taught about it, are clued up on the facts and myths and above all, are taught how to avoid it. It is senseless to leave them utterly unprepared. What does make sense is teaching not to rape while simultaneously teaching how to avoid rape. That way, we have no aggressors and no victims. Doesn't it not make sense to double up the education? If we educate both, imagine how far we'll come?

That last quote was a reference to how many girls end up victim blaming themselves when it happens to them. They start to perceive flaws in the way they acted and tear themselves up over it. They think "If I'd done this differently, it wouldn't have happened." I don't want that. I want women to feel safe and empowered when they are out and if anything bad does happen, the one massive piece of consolation they can have is that they did everything right, they are not at fault. It's bad enough to experience sadness after rape, you don't want to start placing guilt on yourself too.

But I find all of this ironic when you thought making fun of me for being a virgin was acceptable. Maybe you should look more at how you are contradicting yourself, not me.

18 hours ago, Benji said:

I was debating whether to reply to this or not because I know it's not going to get anywhere but let's give it a go anyway.

I quote you saying that your way of posting your opinions as facts is probably what's rubbing people the wrong way, then you literally come at me with your usual "I've researched this" blah blah blah "I'm a woman, I'm allowed my opinion, you're not" blah blah blah.... I'm surprised you didn't bring up likes again? Hmm.

Now, don't get me wrong. I'm all for people having their own opinions but that's what all of this is, an opinion. Just because you're comfortable writing a wall of text or you haven't learnt how to make a concise post doesn't mean that anyone here is below you and their opinion isn't as equally as important as yours. You can't sit and wonder why people get sh*tty with you when you post a controversial opinion (as a fact) and then attempt to shut everyone down who offers an alternative view. I've noticed more people are getting sh*tty with you, and whilst I hate to see anyone being jumped on like people have done to you... I honestly can't blame them for wanting to do so.

People have already quoted you saying what I wanted to say, but just know I completely disagree with you on this and I think you do too considering you're disagreeing with yourself in other posts but it's cool.

I hope my above reply helped clarify things somewhat.

Some of my opinions are based on facts. The ones that aren't, well, I usually start them with "I think" or "I believe" or "in my opinion." But thing is, I don't see everyone else doing that and they don't get accused of the things I am. I find it very overdone to keep on stating everything is just my opinion because I think, for the most part, it should be obvious because I'm speaking it, therefore, it's likely an opinion. And I never said anyone who wasn't a woman wasn't allowed an opinion, just that, in a discussion about women, women should take the fore as it's us it affects. And it's sometimes just us who even notice some issues, they're invisible to men.

And please don't critique my posting style. If I have a lot to say, I have to write it, it can't always be condensed. If I did condense it, you'd only ask me to elaborate anyway because being concise wouldn't cut it. So, I save time by getting it all out in one go. If people have a problem with that, then they have a low attention span which is on them, not me. I do deem others opinions as important - just because I disagree with them doesn't mean they're unimportant, I just don't agree. And I just aim to have a healthy debate, as per my rights on a free speech forum. I gather that I can say controversial things but it always comes from a well-meaning place and I make that clear. Which is why I can't understand people jumping on me when I mean well and never call them names or anything.

No, I don't disagree with myself. I'm 100% confident in my opinion. Like I said, I hope my previous post to Harry clarifies things and makes you see my true intentions.

[Evan Peters 10,743]

On 4/20/2016 at 1:48 PM, KURUSHITOVSKA said:

Yes, she should write her songs! 

omg  

[Harry 26,836]

22 minutes ago, StrawberryBlond said:

This is a very good point and one I'm in support of. But it's so often seen as the be all and end all when it comes to discussing how to stop rape. Telling people not to rape is never that simple. And note I said people, not boys, because isn't it important that girls are taught not to rape too? Can't girls rape other girls? (I actually read a story from a woman who said her friend told her it wasn't possible for her to have been raped because girls couldn't rape other girls). Girls could even be capable of raping men, if they drugged them, or were simply bigger and stronger (another true story I read from a guy, again, who no one believed as they didn't think it was possible for women to rape men). When it comes to rape, we should ALL be educated. But even if we do educate, the problem is, not everyone listens. We teach children not to steal or kill for example, so why do some grow up to steal and kill? Teaching them not to rape is no different: some will listen, some will not. Therefore, it's important that girls know how to stop themselves being victims of those whose warped minds will not listen. It's no different to when we tell children how to be safe when crossing the street and don't trust strangers. The idea is that while you may just be going about your business and are doing nothing wrong, there might be some scumbag out there could take advantage of your relaxed vulnerability.

Rape is an issue that disproportionally affects women and thousands are raped every year. Something that severe makes it absolutely imperative that girls are taught about it, are clued up on the facts and myths and above all, are taught how to avoid it. It is senseless to leave them utterly unprepared. What does make sense is teaching not to rape while simultaneously teaching how to avoid rape. That way, we have no aggressors and no victims. Doesn't it not make sense to double up the education? If we educate both, imagine how far we'll come?

That last quote was a reference to how many girls end up victim blaming themselves when it happens to them. They start to perceive flaws in the way they acted and tear themselves up over it. They think "If I'd done this differently, it wouldn't have happened." I don't want that. I want women to feel safe and empowered when they are out and if anything bad does happen, the one massive piece of consolation they can have is that they did everything right, they are not at fault. It's bad enough to experience sadness after rape, you don't want to start placing guilt on yourself too.

But I find all of this ironic when you thought making fun of me for being a virgin was acceptable. Maybe you should look more at how you are contradicting yourself, not me.

Yes, it is important that we were educate girls too and of course they can be rapists as well but we were talking specifically about female victims due to how they dress etc... But anyway I don't really trust anyone talking about rape education when they literally blame victims for what they wear or drink.

And yes, telling people to keep an eye on their drinks and stay close to friends on nights out (particularly in big cities) is important. But telling girls they can't wear what they want or that they shouldn't get drunk is absurd. If they wanna let loose and that's how they have fun, then they should be able to choose. That kind of education only sends out a message to boys that if they see drunk girls dressed/acting provocatively then it's acceptable to sexually harass them because after all it's their fault, right?

"... they did everything right, they are not at fault." I'm sorry but NO rape victim is ever 'at fault'. Completely ridiculous and offensive to even suggest that.

I was not making fun of you for being a virgin... It was a genuine statement. Sorry if you thought I was...

[StrawberryBlond 14,873]

42 minutes ago, Harry said:

Yes, it is important that we were educate girls too and of course they can be rapists as well but we were talking specifically about female victims due to how they dress etc... But anyway I don't really trust anyone talking about rape education when they literally blame victims for what they wear or drink.

And yes, telling people to keep an eye on their drinks and stay close to friends on nights out (particularly in big cities) is important. But telling girls they can't wear what they want or that they shouldn't get drunk is absurd. If they wanna let loose and that's how they have fun, then they should be able to choose. That kind of education only sends out a message to boys that if they see drunk girls dressed/acting provocatively then it's acceptable to sexually harass them because after all it's their fault, right?

"... they did everything right, they are not at fault." I'm sorry but NO rape victim is ever 'at fault'. Completely ridiculous and offensive to even suggest that.

I was not making fun of you for being a virgin... It was a genuine statement. Sorry if you thought I was...

But isn't the point that education helps reduce amount of victims in more ways than one? How is sending girls out the room when the topic of rape comes up any different from sending boys out of the room when there's female puberty talk or domestic violence talk? It's the same thing, different execution. If we stopped separating genders when it involves talk about sex, reproduction and gender respect, things that involves us all, how are we expected to achieve gender equality? How is treating genders like different species with different needs and rules going to achieve gender equality? Rape is all of our business and we all need to focus on stopping it at the root and preventing any follow-ups. And I didn't blame victims for what they wear or how they drink, it's just a simple fact that certain behaviours put you at risk. If you leave your door unlocked and your house gets robbed, well, you didn't deserve to get robbed but you should have locked your door to lower the risk of a break in. Behaviour that makes you an easy target should be avoided. If you don't make sensible choices, bad stuff can happen to you. You don't deserve it, but that doesn't change the fact that it could happen. It's common sense. I don't get why encouraging people to protect themselves from harm is such a horrible thing. I imply no more than that.

I didn't say girls shouldn't wear what they want. I explicitly said "That's why I always encourage women if they're going to go out dressed provocatively to always..." followed by precautions. They have a right to dress how they want but they must realise that their form of dress can make them a potential target and be on their guard. And I don't encourage anyone to get drunk in public, man or woman. The list of bad things that can happen is endless. You could stumble into the path of an oncoming car. You could, on the walk home, lose your footing due to your sense of judgement being impaired, fall down a slope and die in a ditch (happened to someone in my family). You could die of hypothermia on the walk home due to the alcohol making you think your body's warmer than it actually is. Even if you don't die, you could, in a drunken rage, start a fight with someone, throw a glass and end up in a police cell. The moral of the story is that public intoxication is a bad idea. Either don't get drunk at all or only get drunk in your own home, if you want to do it safely. And I'm not suggesting that girls who dress provocatively should be touted as deserving victims, I'm saying just what I said above - if you want to dress like this, take precautions. And boys will be taught that women must be treated with respect, regardless of how they're dressed. I think it's important for women to be taught that their form of dress can make them easy targets. There's a great passage in a book I read about how, like it or not, our clothes send strong messages to people and it can make them feel justified in treating us badly in some ways, detailing moments in history and today to explain that theory. And you can't tell people to not think a certain way when they see someone's form of dress. Perceptions are made whether we like them or not, so with that in mind, we should be aware of the message we're sending with our clothes.

That quote was referring to the feelings that victims put on themselves, the perceived faults they put upon themselves. Victims don't just suffer from outsiders blaming them, they end up blaming themselves too. My point is that if you took precautions, you won't feel the need to put guilt on yourself, nor will anyone else, therefore, victims will be given a reassurance that they were simply in the wrong place at the wrong time, which is far better for their emotional wellbeing. I'm sure we've all come to grief over something in the past and realised, in retrospect, that if we'd made better choices, it might not have happened, and we beat ourselves up over that fact? You don't want to have that feeling for something as soul destroying as rape. Take precautions and you won't need to ever ask yourself "what if?"

A genuine statement that you had no right to say in public. An action that really upset me. No one has the right to spill details on someone's personal life without their permission. And it certainly did sound as if you were making fun. You said my views on sexual expression shouldn't be listened to because I'm a bitter virgin. You're shaming me for being a virgin. Just as bad as slut shaming. Yet, you think you can lecture me about (incorrectly assumed) victim blaming?

[Harry 26,836]

4 minutes ago, StrawberryBlond said:

But isn't the point that education helps reduce amount of victims in more ways than one? How is sending girls out the room when the topic of rape comes up any different from sending boys out of the room when there's female puberty talk or domestic violence talk? It's the same thing, different execution. If we stopped separating genders when it involves talk about sex, reproduction and gender respect, things that involves us all, how are we expected to achieve gender equality? How is treating genders like different species with different needs and rules going to achieve gender equality? Rape is all of our business and we all need to focus on stopping it at the root and preventing any follow-ups. And I didn't blame victims for what they wear or how they drink, it's just a simple fact that certain behaviours put you at risk. If you leave your door unlocked and your house gets robbed, well, you didn't deserve to get robbed but you should have locked your door to lower the risk of a break in. Behaviour that makes you an easy target should be avoided. If you don't make sensible choices, bad stuff can happen to you. You don't deserve it, but that doesn't change the fact that it could happen. It's common sense. I don't get why encouraging people to protect themselves from harm is such a horrible thing. I imply no more than that.

I didn't say girls shouldn't wear what they want. I explicitly said "That's why I always encourage women if they're going to go out dressed provocatively to always..." followed by precautions. They have a right to dress how they want but they must realise that their form of dress can make them a potential target and be on their guard. And I don't encourage anyone to get drunk in public, man or woman. The list of bad things that can happen is endless. You could stumble into the path of an oncoming car. You could, on the walk home, lose your footing due to your sense of judgement being impaired, fall down a slope and die in a ditch (happened to someone in my family). You could die of hypothermia on the walk home due to the alcohol making you think your body's warmer than it actually is. Even if you don't die, you could, in a drunken rage, start a fight with someone, throw a glass and end up in a police cell. The moral of the story is that public intoxication is a bad idea. Either don't get drunk at all or only get drunk in your own home, if you want to do it safely. And I'm not suggesting that girls who dress provocatively should be touted as deserving victims, I'm saying just what I said above - if you want to dress like this, take precautions. And boys will be taught that women must be treated with respect, regardless of how they're dressed. I think it's important for women to be taught that their form of dress can make them easy targets. There's a great passage in a book I read about how, like it or not, our clothes send strong messages to people and it can make them feel justified in treating us badly in some ways, detailing moments in history and today to explain that theory. And you can't tell people to not think a certain way when they see someone's form of dress. Perceptions are made whether we like them or not, so with that in mind, we should be aware of the message we're sending with our clothes.

That quote was referring to the feelings that victims put on themselves, the perceived faults they put upon themselves. Victims don't just suffer from outsiders blaming them, they end up blaming themselves too. My point is that if you took precautions, you won't feel the need to put guilt on yourself, nor will anyone else, therefore, victims will be given a reassurance that they were simply in the wrong place at the wrong time, which is far better for their emotional wellbeing. I'm sure we've all come to grief over something in the past and realised, in retrospect, that if we'd made better choices, it might not have happened, and we beat ourselves up over that fact? You don't want to have that feeling for something as soul destroying as rape. Take precautions and you won't need to ever ask yourself "what if?"

A genuine statement that you had no right to say in public. An action that really upset me. No one has the right to spill details on someone's personal life without their permission. And it certainly did sound as if you were making fun. You said my views on sexual expression shouldn't be listened to because I'm a bitter virgin. You're shaming me for being a virgin. Just as bad as slut shaming. Yet, you think you can lecture me about (incorrectly assumed) victim blaming?

eh you're impossible

never mind

[StrawberryBlond 14,873]

6 minutes ago, Harry said:

eh you're impossible

never mind

Whenever I start hitting my stride, you always give up on me. I think it's because I say stuff that makes you realise you got me wrong and you don't want to change your initial perception of me (or admit that you interpreted what I said wrongly). Because once you've made up your mind about someone, you're too stubborn to change. If you're so intent on believing that I'm horrible no matter what, you'll never see anything different and it may even alter what you would otherwise have judged me fairly on. And you wonder why we argue so much? We both think we're getting treated badly. The best thing we can do now is agree to start over from scratch. No preconceptions, like we've never known each other. But then, you've turned down every truce I've ever offered you, so I don't expect you to accept this one.

[Harry 26,836]

43 minutes ago, StrawberryBlond said:

Whenever I start hitting my stride, you always give up on me. I think it's because I say stuff that makes you realise you got me wrong and you don't want to change your initial perception of me (or admit that you interpreted what I said wrongly). Because once you've made up your mind about someone, you're too stubborn to change. If you're so intent on believing that I'm horrible no matter what, you'll never see anything different and it may even alter what you would otherwise have judged me fairly on. And you wonder why we argue so much? We both think we're getting treated badly. The best thing we can do now is agree to start over from scratch. No preconceptions, like we've never known each other. But then, you've turned down every truce I've ever offered you, so I don't expect you to accept this one.

Well thank you for that psychological assessment and for telling me how I feel (again).

Every time I start to come around with you, you go and say something else that rubs me the complete wrong way. I'm not "intent" on anything. I've had fights with other users on this site that I now consider my friend. From the many interactions we've had, you just don't seem to be a nice person. And that's why I give up. You do this whole "truce" thing after every argument and then it just happens all over again. It's boring for me, I'm sure it's boring for you and it's definitely boring for everyone else that has to sit through this. Sooooo.. I'm out.