"Lady Gaga"

[Kayla 7,595]

Just now, JDi said:

lol it's pretty shallow on both my part and yours.

I wasn't using that image in a serious manner.  

[JDi 1,495]

Just now, Kayla said:

I wasn't using that image in a serious manner.  

lol I know 

lol 

gotta go
 

[Voltaire 4,531]

[Ronk 14,762]

I thought we knew Gaga and Bowie are the same person.

[Andreyw 4,285]

That moment when Russian language is more understandable than this thread 

[VenusBlackStar 1,301]

I HAVE THE ANSWER. ***READ WITH CAUTION. SENSITIVE MATERIAL.***

 

In 1983 when Bowie released "Let's Dance" and realized it was most likely to be his biggest pop music success, he began to fear not being able to replicate that success. Sensing the beginning of the decade-long that his followup to "Let's Dance," "Never Let Me Down," would spark in the eyes of his fans and critics, he extracted the sperm from the condom he used during a glorious affair with Freddie Mercury and bestowed it upon the Germanotta family, instructing them that he and the first born between Joe and Cynthia would always be guided by the telepathic bond shared by him and the child but that the connection would not manifest itself until the time was right. The child would be destined to carry on his work and replace him if ever he could no longer spread the good gospel of Bowie.

Several albums, tours, and two critically-tepid Tin Machine albums later, we reach 2003, 20 years after "Let's Dance," when "Reality" was released, followed by a tour in 2004. It seemed to many that Bowie was back on his game after his late 80s-early 90s period of creative struggle. However, due to a blocked artery , Bowie could not finish the 11 dates left on his tour. Fearing for his health as he recovered, he activated the telepathic connection between himself and the young girl in New York who was already exhibiting an extraordinary creative ability, even before the connection was fully realized.

Fast forward to 2007, at Lollapalooza, where a girl named "Lady Gaga" appeared on the stage, singing a song called "Summerboy." Little is known of this time period, but video artifacts of the early days of this strange creature continue to surface.

Later, She arrived to all the world: Lady Gaga, with her cyborg disco sex queen splendor, bearing The Mark on her face, the Aladdin Sane lightning bolt. Some say the girl saw the lightning bolt on the cover and listened to the holy scripture housed on the record and completed her destiny. Using Her true father's power bestowed upon her, she traveled the world, spreading the good word, writing the Gaga chapter of Ziggy Stardust's space gospel, uncovered and translated by the Great Major Tom, who bravely traversed the final frontier to bring back the world-saving warning catalogued by Bowie back in 1972.

As She lit the way with Her Disco Stick, she learned part of her life's mission: to gather enough energy to regenerate David Bowie so that the the two can be strong together in the New World they are to create, the new capital being in Berlin, where David created the fabled Berlin Trilogy.

She earned follower after follower with the power of her hella catchy smash singles from The Fame and The Fame Monster, later to gather them all up for the Great Trial of G.O.A.T (Government Owned Alien Territory in Space), where she tested the loyalty of those who followed her. Some betrayed her, while others stayed. With the Monster Army strong, David Bowie was able to gain the strength to come back with a new collection of scripture: "The Next Day." However, sadly, both aliens were so strong that neither could be active while the other was also active. The stress was too much for Lady Gaga, and all the unstable energy collected in her hip, eventually fracturing it and forcing her into stasis.

In the Dark Times 2013 A.D. Gaga struggled to break the telepathic bond Her father had on her since birth. Eventually she severed the tie, putting David back into stasis. The energy of that battle birthed ARTPOP, the new message of Creative Rebellion. Sadly, ARTPOP ultimately left our hero weakened until being saved by The Great Master Tony Bennett, where he took Her under his wing, revitalizing Her with the power of Jazz.

Now, we near uncertain times in 2016 A.D., as we approach David Bowie's return with Blackstar. What does this mean for the dormant LG5? Now that the telepathic bond has severed, can the two exist with Yin-Yang balance, or will 2016 be a cataclysmic battle of creative energy? The Prophets struggle to find an answer.

 

(I uncovered this ancient text scrawled on the back corner stall of a gay dive bar/strip club)