Concept for a Lady Gaga song

[Miracle 14,068]

Following the 2011 "Yuyi" theme, I've written some concept lyrics (that are part from a poem I wrote back in the day) fully developing the concept of mermaids and the sea. I didn't make it as a Lady Gaga concept song, but as a entry for a poetry contest. Since It has been quite succesful in the contest webpage I wanted to fix it a bit, add a chorus and post it here as lyrics adjusted for her.

 

Dear Sailor

VERSE I

Immersing into the sea
Beware of the spooky monsters there
they're scary shadows of the siren's sing
Thrilling heirs of a witch curse that makes them deaf
Hidden from the ocean's magic lyre

CHORUS I 

Dear Sailor, don't be afraid
Don't worry if it's obscure, everything will lit
When you get near our treasured marble shell
Where there's no overpriced rents, no bills
Only whispers of mermaid's prayers

POST - CHORUS I

We used to sing to the moonlight
We used to sing like larks
But they used to confuse our voice
with a melody of help
They didn't know they were
songs of beauty and love

CHORUS II

Dear Sailor, don't be afraid
Dear Sailor, please take a chance
Don't think we have dissapeared
It's just that we hide
to live in a myth
and keep the myst
to those who are daredevil and free

POST - CHORUS II

Dear Sailor, Dear Sailor

We love you

VERSE II

The terrifying old tales say
our grandmas made that witty, beautiful man sink
Our home was built by lies, a malicious flam
We've totally made it shimmering, adequate
But we miss journeys of myrth

CHORUS III

Dear Sailor, don't be afraid
Dear Sailor, get here
Tell everyone we wanna see
waves romping on our roof
that our nature has no room
Tell everyone our minds haved turned into gloom
That we have no loom, we're just creatures
of the dark side of the moon

OUTRO

Dear Sailor, we'll flood the sea tear by tear
if you don't take the risk we need

 

There's no certain / obvious main chorus but all the choruses start with the same words "dear sailor" even if they have slight lyrics / melody differences

 

[Didymus 34,379]

This could work for Gaga if it was some seriously experimentally atmospheric track where she uses a very haunting modified vocal or something.

[VOLANTIS 16,406]

Giving me Pirates of the Caribbean tease

http://tenminutes.ph/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/mermaids.gif

Good Job 

 

 

[Miracle 14,068]

This could work for Gaga if it was some seriously experimentally atmospheric track where she uses a very haunting modified vocal or something.

Keep in my mind that it comes from a poem. I focused on the theme rather than it actually making it work as a song for Gaga that's why it's a concept. I know turning these lyrics into a pop song is rather difficult but well

 

[Didymus 34,379]

Keep in my mind that it comes from a poem. I focused on the theme rather than it actually making it work as a song for Gaga that's why it's a concept. I know turning these lyrics into a pop song is rather difficult but well

Which is why it would work better if there were no typical pop song restraints

I'd love it, don't get me wrong, I'd love a very conceptual, metaphorical and fantastical approach on some next album

[monsterdreams 1,529]

Very mystical and fantastical 

[Dominic 11,922]

I find it quite chilling and dark. Not sure if that was the intent but I really liked it. Good work  

I don't know how good you are at music but you should try create a little melody to go with it and develop it further.