Ariana…

[elegidadedios 4,890]

5 hours ago, AVeryGagaHolyDick said:

And people’s reactions prove she needs to keep showing it 

You can't be serious. Omfg you simply can't.

[weed 78,957]

Whew…. During Wicked I thought people were doing too much but those screenshots are kind of wild.. Hope she gets the help she needs and loves herself at a healthier weight. 

Edited 17 hours ago by weed
Lol typo

[pachinko 10,755]

Someone help her

[Future Lovers 7,599]

Here's the thing that people don't seem to understand about the way they pose commentary on what's going with Ariana: the way they're going about it is likely making the situation way worse. 

I don't think that saying nothing is the right movie, but how you say what you say matters with an eating disorder. Eating disorders are extremely complex mental illnesses and while we know what people mean when they say she looks unhealthy or bad, her brain won't receive it the same way and it could encourage the patient to go even deeper into disordered habits (if she has an ED; I say if simply because while i may have thoughts, i'm ultimately not a medical professional and am incapable of making any sort of diagnosis of anyone).

The key with discussing an ED with someone who has one is not to comment on how they look, but rather express a personal concern for their health generally. EDs often spring from a hyper awareness of how one looks, and they often have extremely parasocial triggers, so focusing all of the dialogue on appearance is only going to reinforce in the mind of someone with an ED a need to continue acting to alter their appearance.

I don't doubt many of her fans are legitimately concerned but there absolutely needs to be a change in how that concern gets expressed. The way a lot of it gets expressed now is likely making the issue worse.

People with EDs often delve further into the behavior in retaliation. Commentary on their looks often feels like power being taken away, so they retreat into their habits as a way of taking the power back. 

I think it needs to be discussed, but people need to do a lot of self-education on how to discuss it because there's been some irresponsible approaches to the topic that if she were to ever happen to see would absolutely push her further into the darkness. 

I also think that the narrative some small groups are running with of villainizing her for it ("young girls look up to her") is also not helpful in any way. People with EDs simply will never respond to force or critique for the reasons I said above. The most common way to reach someone with an ED is through compassion and a willingness to understand and meet them whee they are so that the dialogue doesn't come across as hostile or combative. 

When discussing EDs with someone who has one, you have to very carefully thread the needle because our words absolutely can and do have an impact on how they act. Any hint of confrontation and they will continue to double down. 

[Future Lovers 7,599]

8 hours ago, Stylor said:

Yes, she’s flaunting and glamorizing her ED. She’s had anorexia since the beginning of her music career. I still remember her pro-Ana Tumblr back in 2013. But the situation spiraled out of control due to the whole Ethan/Wicked scandal.

She’s not a good person, but I don’t wish this illness on anyone. Unfortunately she refuses to get help despite being a multi-millionaire with all the resources available.

She’s dying in front of our eyes, just like Karen Carpenter. It’s heartbreaking, but we have to keep talking about it. I know it’s not going to help her, but if it discourages young girls from trying to look like her, I’m fine with it.

 

And this is exactly what i'm talking about above. 

I couldn't think of a better example of exactly the kind of dialogue that will make someone with an ED get worse if they were to ever read it. 

I don't disagree there's an issue that needs to be discussed but this sort of thing right here is the exact opposite of how every medical professional on the planet recommends you go about it. 

[Future Lovers 7,599]

7 hours ago, Controversiaga said:

I think Ariana knows what she’s doing though and she knows what she looks like and dresses accordingly…but at the same time , yes like you said that iiiis apart of her illness. But she has to know that what she’s doing is not smart or healthy, and it is selfish when you have such a platform and other women looking to you as a role model… so it’s just a tragic situation overall in every aspect

and we’re the public and we have every right to discuss it.

This too is a good example of the horrible way of discussing this topic i mentioned above. 

Please god some of you read some actual material from physicians about how to discuss EDs because this sort of thing makes it way, way, way worse. 

"But she has to know that what she’s doing is not smart or healthy" yeah girl that's why it's a mental illness! Do you think people who cut themselves think that's good for them? No. They know it's bad for them. But it's a compulsion. 

Calling someone selfish for that is not going to help them in any way. Every medical professional with a knowledge of EDs will tell you that it is an illness often defined by parasocial behaviors and retalliation. The more you call her bad, the further into her illness (assuming she has one) she'll retreat. 

People with EDs often use their disordered eating as a mixture of power reclaimation and self punishment. They will dive into it if they feel the narrative around their appearance has lost their control, and they will also dive into it if they feel they need to atone for something or should be guilty of something. 

There are VERY specific ways to discuss an ED with someone who has one, and it should always be done with compassion and understanding. People with EDs cannot reason with their illness properly, and they will absolutely retreat into the arms of it if they feel there's any sort of combative intentions behind bringing it up. 

[Celloo Deng 56,318]

I’ll just say I hope she can get lots of help and love to get her back on the right track. She’s a wonderful talent and is clearly going through something 

[ImpossiblePrincess 3,929]

8 hours ago, Skyana Rava said:

 

Scrutinizing a person's weight and appearance is a fast track to getting them to scrutinize their own weight and appearance. It contributes to whatever underlying challenges the person is already facing.

 

Thankyou. 
 

I was talking to my friend about this yesterday, we went to HMV before the store opened to buy Petal and there was a queue, in front of us, there was a woman who turned to us and showed us a picture of her stood next to a child and tried to pass a few comments, my friend is a die hard Ariana fan so she didn’t really respond the way I think the woman thought she would and then started to backtrack about her comments.

I had said after to my friend and I’ll say it on here today, I have always been an underweight person, I currently am 50kg and I am 5”9 so that makes me look even more skinny then I’d like to look, I have tried everything possible to gain weight and my body just doesn’t seem to reach higher then how much I currently weigh. I have been and continue to be scrutinised by family and peers and have had the shittiest things said to me about my weight from people who think that saying that will suddenly flick a lightbulb idea in my head to make me gain weight, from relatives thinking they’re hilarious by saying “eat a few cheeseburgers” or “you’ve lost some weight you’re skinnier then ever” or to people who I used to call friends throwing out to me that I am apparently anorexic the second that they no longer are my friend.

so even though with Ariana I understand the situation is very concerning, she does look different from even 5/6 years ago, I think people should be choosing their words a lot differently then they are because let’s be honest, if she is showing this off like you all say, surely this is the reaction she is wanting. 

[Helxig 45,357]

9 hours ago, Skyana Rava said:

Scrutinizing a person's weight and appearance is a fast track to getting them to scrutinize their own weight and appearance. It contributes to whatever underlying challenges the person is already facing.

Ariana knows what people are saying about her. Saying more won't change anything, it just adds to the pressure. What happens when we are scrutinized and shamed and pressured by a community? We start doing dumb **** to ourselves. 

Ariana and those whom she trusts are the only people who can help with whatever she's is working through.

Idle speculation is NOT helpful.

Love u though, @Controversiaga, ur a queen and a star 

9 hours ago, spookytanooki said:

I typically keep my mouth shut about this topic online, but we all know what happened with Karen Carpenter, and I'm horrified to see Ariana going down the same path. 

I know there's nothing I can say or do to help her, so I'm just hoping that she's able to overcome whatever it is that's going on with her.

 

Except we are having this discussion in a fairly private corner of the internet that she will never see, not on her own posts or in her comments or tagging her or on TikTok or whatever

[Helxig 45,357]

You guys shouldn't be that surprised anymore. Her whole Instagram is one big body-check right now

https://www.instagram.com/p/DZcx6mJlMYf/?img_index=1

 

Exposed clavicles and chest plate and backbones on full display, arms outstreched, her bent over or hunched down looking 'small and frail', backbends, fingers outstretched, being swallowed up in big fabric looking tiny, her entire jawbone and trachea being highlighted by the lighting. It's very on purpose. She's very sick and seriously needs some help before something bad happens. It's making me feel anxious every time I see her

And aside from that, I know she's sick, but it's irresponsible to portray and glamorise this kind of thing to her impressionable audience. It goes beyond it being 'just her body' or 'telling a woman to cover herself' if it really is on purpose

Edited 14 hours ago by Helxig

[princedeeblebleble 3,645]

It's not like she can take a magic pill and just instantly have "normal" weight... What the **** do y'all want from her?! That she locks herself up in an institution for a few years and cease to exist and create music so she can be "normal"?!  Healing from ED takes a lot of time and for the body to get back on track. She's probably aware of the problem but its not a magic trick for her to just change.

I'm so ****ing sick and tired of all y'all  bringing her and other women's bodies down. If she put on weight she'd be scrutinized,  because she's extremely thin she's also getting a ton of ****. I'd say she's probs dealing with a lot, from all the **** she got for that sponge bob affair,  I'm pretty sure she's aware of all the negative **** about her body, and that also doesn't help in a person getting well and "normal".. the stress of it all is probably eating her alive and that is the result. 

It might be the vegan diet keeping her from gaining weight,  but at the end of the day it's not her job to be a role model and its not any of yours job to discuss her body.

And posts like this doesn't help, if anything it can make it worse, so congratulations on being part of the problem.

[Sneaky Oliver 22,981]

I don’t want to be harsh on her but I really think she has lost her spark as an artist

i was never a big fan, more of a casual listener so perhaps I might be biased because of all the online discussions I’ve seen

That ridiculous film kind of ruined her image for me  

[AVeryGagaHolyDick 32,013]

9 hours ago, elegidadedios said:

You can't be serious. Omfg you simply can't.

I couldn’t be more serious 

[Skyana Rava 2,697]

5 hours ago, Helxig said:

 

Except we are having this discussion in a fairly private corner of the internet that she will never see, not on her own posts or in her comments or tagging her or on TikTok or whatever

but Ariana is definitely on Gagadaily 

[Creyk 18,660]

3 hours ago, princedeeblebleble said:

It's not like she can take a magic pill and just instantly have "normal" weight... What the **** do y'all want from her?! 

She should do mukbang videos of eating super heavy foods like spaghetti with all the cheese and huge hamburgers and cakes and stuff like that