Nov 19th - International Men's Day

[PartySick 174,307]

8 minutes ago, Auther said:

It's so sad the amount of prejudice single fathers / potential single fathers have when faced with family court. They will do anything to give kids to anyone other than them. My cousins had rough childhoods with their mom, and instead of placing them with the separated father, they did the same thing and put them in with my grandparents. And even then, that was such a shitty thing because my grandparents had no business taking care of them. One was disabled and the other was a school lunch lady. But it was either that, or put into foster care. There was nothing even against my uncle to prevent him from being granted custody other than whatever vitriol my then aunt would spew to make sure he didn't get them, which she was just trying to punish him.

Tragic tbh. 

People demand men "step up" and raise their kids (as they should) but they're always treated as second class citizens when it comes to being a parent. If you're not out working yourself to death for a paycheck then you're a failure as a man.

[Ayesha Erotica 1,963]

I thought every day is men's day except for that one day in March and World Snake Day on July 16th that one user kindly reminded us of

[RenegAde 20,590]

9 hours ago, Murakami27 said:

This concept that men, as a whole group, should not be celebrated or uplifted is toxic and pushes them away to seek refuge in fringe groups. We can't all sit around and wonder why younger men are increasingly finding safe spaces to the right, while perpetuating these concepts and painting them with such broad strokes.

I'm sorry but the notion that we have to "nurture and celebrate" grown men for simply being productive members of society is patronising and deflects from actual reason these men are increasingly right wing leaning. 

They are finding "safe spaces" in the right because most often than not they believe and benefit from that BS too. The lack of personal accountability this deflection breeds is so counterproductive. 

I was born in a very conservation society, but I didn't need to be celebrated or codled to recognise the importance of doing the  right thing, and neither did you or should anyone else tbh.

There is a lot re-education that still needs to be done as a society but let's not deflect when it comes to responsibility.

[RenegAde 20,590]

4 hours ago, PartySick said:

When my dad got custody of me around 1 year old the judge refused to place me in his care 'cause I was a pretty sick child and he didn't trust a young man to take care of me. I was placed in my grandparents' home and by the time I was well enough for my dad to take me, he had married someone else and had another kid on the way.

I always wonder what my life would have been like if my dad was trusted to be a dad and I wasn't removed from my immediate family right out of the gate.

I have a lot affection for you. I know this is a personal subject for you and I understand and empathise with what you've gone through so i mean no disrespect when i say this but;

Your dad not being the legal/primary care giver does not stop him or any other man from being the most present and perfect  dad and role model they want to be for their child. The court placing you in your grand parents care is also probably based on other additional factors.

[RenegAde 20,590]

4 hours ago, PartySick said:

I hope y'all are ready for March 8th when I come in hot with women's day 

That would make you a misogynist and we dont want that for you bestie

[RenegAde 20,590]

I think iv commented too much on this thread now  but I just want to say that I know it's no one's intention here to parade anti feminist rhetoric, but its very hard line to draw sometimes. I remember detailing my experience about being bullied by a  woman and was rightfully met with pushback from the women here even though I felt like my feelings were disregarded here, I understood that my delivery was generalising too.

Even though that experience left a sting in my mouth ill never compare the little inconveniences I have to go through to the oppression that women (and some men) face because of patriarchy and I simply don't have any patience or interests in nurturing anyone who chooses to wallow in that.

[IWantYourLove 1,460]

6 hours ago, PartySick said:

Eh, tell that to the SA victims who can't find appropriate resources to heal 'cause they're men.

Or the domestic violence victims who get slapped or punched in public and people laugh instead of intervening.

Or the dads whose parenting isn't taken seriously 'cause "you must be giving mom a break" or "you're babysitting today, huh?"

Or the dedicated partners who can't be romantic without being labeled as "whipped" or "trained".

Or the emotional men who can't be human without being mocked or ostracized.

Every group has their inherent privileges and disadvantages. People have to recognize that and stop painting everyone with such broad strokes  

Oh no I completely agree, genuinely 100%, but dedicating a day to them as if they are a targeted and oppressed group that deals with life threatening situations simply for existing as they are is what rubs me the wrong way. We as a society definitely need to work on supporting men in areas that aren’t spoken about, it’s massively important. My issue is simply that this is comparable to things like a straight pride month or white history month. Might as well hold funerals for the living and childcare for the childless while we’re at it. I am not in any way saying that there aren’t things that men struggle with - a very close friend of mine was in a terrifyingly abusive relationship with a woman. The only issue I have is these kinds of days are supposed to show appreciation and safety and a kind of ‘hey we see you’ to groups that are attacked for exactly what that group is. Yes, awful things happen to men, all the time, and it’s horrific. But that’s not *because* they’re men. They can’t speak out about it because they’re men, which is a monumental issue that needs to be fixed, but the things that happen to them aren’t because they’re men. That’s my whole point. 

[IWantYourLove 1,460]

I don’t say any of this as some weird man-hating feminist, I say it a queer woman of colour deeply in love with a MAN. Men need support and understanding, but they don’t need to be treated as an oppressed group. It takes away from the importance of these days for minorities and generally suffering groups. I’m not blaming men now for what has happened in the past, I’m blaming the scarily large group of men now for what is happening now. The issues that people are bringing up, with things like men experiencing SA or domestic violence, or single parenting - they could be days themselves, and that would make complete sense, I would be entirely behind that - exactly the way I, and many many others, fight passionately for men’s mental health month. But I’m sure people will read this and still try to find an issue with it 

[PartySick 174,307]

25 minutes ago, IWantYourLove said:

dedicating a day to them as if they are a targeted and oppressed group that deals with life threatening situations simply for existing as they are is what rubs me the wrong way

I mean, March 25th is "International Waffle Day"  

Idk, not sure why I decided to make this thread on ggd  

[IWantYourLove 1,460]

13 minutes ago, PartySick said:

I mean, March 25th is "International Waffle Day"  

Idk, not sure why I decided to make this thread on ggd  

Man you know that’s a different thing  

honestly though I meant no hostility AT ALL by this, and I certainly didn’t mean for it to come across as if I think men don’t have to deal with problems - that was kind of the opposite of my point

[sarahb 17,247]

International Mens Day needs to exist so when International Women's Day happens and men try to play the victim going "well when's International Men's Day??" we can say "19th of November"