Nov 19th - International Men's Day

[Economy 53,097]

2 hours ago, allanrocks said:

Because men are literally responsible for almost every war in humankind?? Because men don’t face systemic oppression??

What’s next? A holiday for celebrating white people? Please

Yet u are forgetting people are individuals too

 

I will push back on this thinking as well because whatever ancestors did or the select few powerful do, do not represent an average man in the 21st century

 

U need to look at people as individuals too not just historical highlights of ppl who share the same sex. They literally have nothing to do with u and me

 

These figures also do not invalidate the kinds of social issues that are relevant to men such as high suicide rates

 

Acknowledging this doesnt have to invalidate womens problems or make it into a competition of who has it worse. God, I wish ppl would stop this mentality that u have to be fully on one side or another, its so narrow minded. U can totally support more than one group of people at once for their differing prominant issues without automatically saying F U to the other. NO ONE is saying get rid of womens day in order to have mens day god 

 

Edit: Im also gonna add that comparing it to the insanity of having a white people day is ludicrous. Racial dynamic issues hardly go beyond all non white races having been disadvantaged relative to white people dominating them in priveledge

 

Gender dynamics on the otherhand even in todays day in age are a lot more complex. Varying expectations, double standards different types of issues (that affect both sides) and far exceed anything in race. So totally not even remotely the same thing. Theres not much you can argue that white people struggle in that other races dont in. You cant necessairily say the same about men vs women.

[RenegAde 20,590]

59 minutes ago, Economy said:

Acknowledging this doesnt have to invalidate womens problems or make it into a competition of who has it worse.

That is a hard distinction to make when the entire concept of an "international men's day " is usually brought up as a talking point to counter feminism. 

Isnt International Women's Day, mental health awareness month etc are already a perfect opportunity for men to reflect and deconstruct their toxic ideals about gender roles which is the leading cause of the rising suicide rates among men.

[RenegAde 20,590]

3 hours ago, Lucas said:

Why? There are good and bad women, there are good and bad men, why should we only celebrate good women and not good men?

Women's day is primarily recognised for fighting against peculiar systemic issues like gender equality in the workplace, reproductive rights, violent abuse as well recognising women that have made strives regardless of a patriarchal system who, by the way, histroy books have not been kind to. 

So It's not really just about celebrating good people.

[Pablo 8,669]

Finally a day for the oppressed group of people, men! (Yes this is a joke)

[Guest]

6 hours ago, allanrocks said:

I’m very sorry for what you have been thru, but the idea of a day celebrating men sounds pathetic for me. And the fact that I was issued a warning because of that is beyond ridiculous.

I used to feel similarly to some of your posts re: a day celebrating men (though I felt that way about every kind of day like that, including for minority groups and even Pride), but then my mom died. And my sister was taken out of the home because I had called the emergencies to look at my grandfather, whom we were staying with at the time while my dad was trying to secure a place to live, and he was a hoarder. The next day, they came and took her away. My dad was a widowed father living paycheck to paycheck. He did all he could to comply with family courts and with child protective services. She was placed in a foster home. The courts did not let her return to him for about over a year because "there was no woman present in the home." and "She has a mother figure in foster care now who can help her become a woman." They kept on pulling him along, despite him doing nothing wrong and us being far removed from that living situation. I can't even remember some of the other fake bullshit reasons they tried to keep her out of the house. 

[Economy 53,097]

1 hour ago, RenegAde said:

That is a hard distinction to make when the entire concept of an "international men's day " is usually brought up as a talking point to counter feminism. 

Isnt International Women's Day, mental health awareness month etc are already a perfect opportunity for men to reflect and deconstruct their toxic ideals about gender roles which is the leading cause of the rising suicide rates among men.

It absolutely is, and im not saying otherwise

[Murakami27 8,846]

Men are fathers, brothers, husbands, and friends. They are real people. They are real individuals. Not all men are inherently evil and bad. Not all men are responsible for wars. The real world is not that black and white.

This concept that men, as a whole group, should not be celebrated or uplifted is toxic and pushes them away to seek refuge in fringe groups. We can't all sit around and wonder why younger men are increasingly finding safe spaces to the right, while perpetuating these concepts and painting them with such broad strokes.

It's ok to uplift men without celebrating the patriarchal society we live in. It's ok to uplift men while pushing for gender equity for women. Uplifting men does not invalidate women and their struggles.

Men have struggles, too. We should nurture a culture where it's ok for men to talk about their mental health and dismantle the stigma surrounding it. I think such a day could be productive in having very important conversations with men.

[weed 79,289]

Happy Men's Day!

Here are some of the men I love, admire, or want to s*ck:

[Flippy 14,624]

Oh wow! Didn’t know this was a thing  But yay! I want to thank a lot of the men in my life who have made my life better, specifically (on this forum) @PartySick @River @RAMROD (since y’all are the ones I stay in touch with the most) but everyone in the end has made a huge impact!  love you all

[IWantYourLove 1,460]

I’m always in two minds about this.. never really know what to say. Kind of feels like a slap in the face as a woman. Though it’s lesser known about, all I’ve really seen online is support for this, yet on international women’s day, I saw and personally received r*pe and death threats. So I guess that kind of proves the point of ‘do the oppressors seriously need a day celebrating them.’ 

But at the same time, I do 100% see the need to celebrate the men who aren’t violent or venomously misogynistic. The part that doesn’t sit right with me is the fact that it’s given the same title etc. as days for oppressed groups who are continuously murdered, r*ped, assaulted, screamed at, attacked, and in any way brutalised, and have been ever since men created the patriarchy. 
 

So while I will definitely celebrate and acknowledge the men that actually make a difference, I refuse to acknowledge this as a day to celebrate men as a whole, as they have never been harmed simply for existing. 

[Economy 53,097]

4 hours ago, Murakami27 said:

Men are fathers, brothers, husbands, and friends. They are real people. They are real individuals. Not all men are inherently evil and bad. Not all men are responsible for wars. The real world is not that black and white.

This concept that men, as a whole group, should not be celebrated or uplifted is toxic and pushes them away to seek refuge in fringe groups. We can't all sit around and wonder why younger men are increasingly finding safe spaces to the right, while perpetuating these concepts and painting them with such broad strokes.

It's ok to uplift men without celebrating the patriarchal society we live in. It's ok to uplift men while pushing for gender equity for women. Uplifting men does not invalidate women and their struggles.

Men have struggles, too. We should nurture a culture where it's ok for men to talk about their mental health and dismantle the stigma surrounding it. I think such a day could be productive in having very important conversations with men.

I think this entire post nails it

[PartySick 174,307]

5 hours ago, Auther said:

I used to feel similarly to some of your posts re: a day celebrating men (though I felt that way about every kind of day like that, including for minority groups and even Pride), but then my mom died. And my sister was taken out of the home because I had called the emergencies to look at my grandfather, whom we were staying with at the time while my dad was trying to secure a place to live, and he was a hoarder. The next day, they came and took her away. My dad was a widowed father living paycheck to paycheck. He did all he could to comply with family courts and with child protective services. She was placed in a foster home. The courts did not let her return to him for about over a year because "there was no woman present in the home." and "She has a mother figure in foster care now who can help her become a woman." They kept on pulling him along, despite him doing nothing wrong and us being far removed from that living situation. I can't even remember some of the other fake bullshit reasons they tried to keep her out of the house. 

When my dad got custody of me around 1 year old the judge refused to place me in his care 'cause I was a pretty sick child and he didn't trust a young man to take care of me. I was placed in my grandparents' home and by the time I was well enough for my dad to take me, he had married someone else and had another kid on the way.

I always wonder what my life would have been like if my dad was trusted to be a dad and I wasn't removed from my immediate family right out of the gate.

[PartySick 174,307]

42 minutes ago, IWantYourLove said:

I refuse to acknowledge this as a day to celebrate men as a whole, as they have never been harmed simply for existing

Eh, tell that to the SA victims who can't find appropriate resources to heal 'cause they're men.

Or the domestic violence victims who get slapped or punched in public and people laugh instead of intervening.

Or the dads whose parenting isn't taken seriously 'cause "you must be giving mom a break" or "you're babysitting today, huh?"

Or the dedicated partners who can't be romantic without being labeled as "whipped" or "trained".

Or the emotional men who can't be human without being mocked or ostracized.

Every group has their inherent privileges and disadvantages. People have to recognize that and stop painting everyone with such broad strokes  

[PartySick 174,307]

I hope y'all are ready for March 8th when I come in hot with women's day 

[Guest]

1 hour ago, PartySick said:

When my dad got custody of me around 1 year old the judge refused to place me in his care 'cause I was a pretty sick child and he didn't trust a young man to take care of me. I was placed in my grandparents' home and by the time I was well enough for my dad to take me, he had married someone else and had another kid on the way.

I always wonder what my life would have been like if my dad was trusted to be a dad and I wasn't removed from my immediate family right out of the gate.

It's so sad the amount of prejudice single fathers / potential single fathers have when faced with family court. They will do anything to give kids to anyone other than them. My cousins had rough childhoods with their mom, and instead of placing them with the separated father, they did the same thing and put them in with my grandparents. And even then, that was such a shitty thing because my grandparents had no business taking care of them. One was disabled and the other was a school lunch lady. But it was either that, or put into foster care. There was nothing even against my uncle to prevent him from being granted custody other than whatever vitriol my then aunt would spew to make sure he didn't get them, which she was just trying to punish him.

My dad tried getting so much support at the time in my situation, and none was granted to him. Because he wasn't a woman. The only programs out there are for women. Once when we were nearly homeless, the resources around couldn't take us in, because they were also for women - specifically single mothers. That's why we ended up with my grandfather. My dad had no other options, and since we were in a house with a hoarder, my sister was punished for it because I had to call 911 because my grandfather was having some weird **** happen to him.