Paste Magazine writes scathing review of Taylor Swift’s Tortured Poets album

[BUtterfield 8 41,354]

 

“I took the miracle move-on drug, the effects were temporary,” Swift muses, and it sounds like satire. This is your songwriter of the century? Open the schools.

Aside from the Puth nod, which I can only discern as a joke, I think Antonoff should stick to guitar-playing. Get that man away from a keyboard, I’m begging you.

and rows of variant LP copies will haunt the record aisles of Target stores just as long as Midnights has—if not longer. 

This album and its hackneyed grasps at relevance exist as “Did I just hear that?” personified, but in the most derogatory sense of the notion.

But, you cannot write about someone being a “tattooed golden retriever” and get away with it and still retain your title as the best songwriter of your generation. You just cannot.

The billionaire is having an identity crisis, but there are no social media apps for her to buy up. So she sings like Lana Del Rey and writes meta-self-referential songs about looking like Stevie Nicks.

she, too, can’t outrun the damning fate of being plum out of ideas by hopping in her jet and skirting off to God knows where. See you at the Grammys.

[Sorcerer 12,469]

"This is your songwriter of the century? Open the schools." 

[Roughhouse Dandy 11,208]

Oh, that's rough. 

[gagabro 268]

I don’t agree, but the album would’ve been much better received by a few outlets with some editing, for sure. Maybe 20 tracks max. 

[Pablo 7,777]

I just want to see how Taylor herself responds to the critics. She'll play victim somehow 

[calmar 22,038]

In my view the fact she wrote a very thinly veiled song attacking Kim Kardashian, saying her children would be singing Taylor's songs and also saying Taylor's mom wished Kim dead, is just. Are you in your mid 30s or are you 15 still? Get a grip.

[HelloHangoverz 17,450]

The first line of the review is

Sylvia Plath did not stick her head in an oven for this! 

I FCUKING CAN'T

[Gaga2645 2,226]

LMFAOOO

[Whigney Houstan 1,219]

37 minutes ago, Sorcerer said:

"This is your songwriter of the century? Open the schools." 

I gasped.

 

Brutal.

[calmar 22,038]

24 minutes ago, HelloHangoverz said:

The first line of the review is

Sylvia Plath did not stick her head in an oven for this! 

I FCUKING CAN'T

oh. my god.

kudos for saying that sisterr. for spilling.

[VTV 12,816]

44 minutes ago, Pablo said:

I just want to see how Taylor herself responds to the critics. She'll play victim somehow 

I mean the title album already sets the tone of her being a victim

[Spartacus 4,485]

See you at the Shammys indeed.

[Spartacus 4,485]

"Now that Swift is in her 30s, it sounds like she is infantilizing her own audience more than ever before—that singing to them at a level that could force them to reckon with something more akin with adulthood would be some kind of kink in the coil or her consumeristic threshold, that writing lyrics that sound like they were penned by a 30-year-old would, somehow, deter the interests of the billions of people who adore her."

I feel seen.

[manyatyau 262]

I really like the album. I imagine a broken hearted lady standing in the library trying to find words to express the sadness. This is a album I would want after folklore and evermore. People need to really sit down in peace to listen to it. Same as people saying folklore was a snooze fest when it was released at first. Dig into the album again with some lemon tek. No measurement needed. 

[ALGAYDO 32,273]

2 hours ago, Pablo said:

I just want to see how Taylor herself responds to the critics. She'll play victim somehow 

She’ll claim critics aren’t loving the album because they’re sexist lol