RIP to a great GGD member

[TSUNAMI 20,226]

53 minutes ago, ChicaSkas said:

It's so sad. I remember she would tease me because our usernames were 1 letter off. And she always had something nice to say. And we loved Pokemon! She is still on my 3ds Friends list in pokemon x and y... I miss her already.... its funny how if you lose track of people sometimes this happens... thank goodness YoMada reached out to me on Insta to ask... at least we know now. 

 

34 minutes ago, StrawberryBlond said:

My jaw dropped when I saw the update to this. I guess now I can give a more detailed story because I no longer have to protect her privacy.

Nikki and I go way back. She's the first person I formed a friendship with here. She was a keen songwriter and wished to become famous and would always send me songs she'd written, inspired by some of her favourite artists like Gaga, Lana Del Rey and Kim Petras. She suffered a lot through her quest to transition, especially with gaining acceptance from her dad, although he started to come around to her towards the end. She was unlucky in love but love was what she really wanted. If I remember rightly, she did marry her boyfriend but divorced him very quickly and moved on with a new man but that eventually ended too. She started dabbling in lower grade drugs like weed and mushrooms to cope with mental struggles. The most tragic thing was her battle with depression and her suicide attempts. I remember the time she sent me a message saying she was going to do it and saying goodbye and I freaked out, knowing that I was the last person who could stop her and I'd feel so guilty if she did it but I was helplessly through a screen and halfway across the world. In desperation, I made a GGD thread, asking everyone to band together and send her well wishes so she knew she was needed and loved and amazingly, she stayed with us but she privately made me promise that if she ever tried to do this again that I wouldn't resort to these measures. So, when she did later on tell me she was going to do it once more (she even sent me a photo of what she was going to use which was so disturbing), I just clammed up and prayed God would watch over her. Again, she didn't follow through and thankfully, attempts became a thing of the past, though she still struggled emotionally with depression for years after. She took a big break from the forum and when she came back, she was telling me that she was dating Post Malone's cousin (I know, I still don't know how they met) and shockingly, that she was taking coke at parties, which was the hardest drug she'd ever taken. I was shocked and told her she really shouldn't but she insisted it was fine and she was taking it responsibly. We last spoke in September of 2022 with her giving no indication she was leaving and ever since, I've been fearing that she died of an overdose more than suicide. I've kept hopeful that she would come back very soon. I was actually getting a feeling that she'd return in about a month or two. Sadly, that feeling was actually this topic announcement...

Because of our age gap and the advice I'd give her, she'd affectionately call me Big Sister sometimes and I'd in turn call her Little Sister. So, I hope you're looking down on us now, Little Sister Nikki. Just know that we tried our best to save you and you'll be sadly missed. Until we meet again, 

Your friend, StrawberryBlond, aka Rachel, aka Big Sister. x 

 

Since she called herself Nikki, there's a big chance she could have been been Nick or Nicholas before? I'm not even sure if Hudson was her real surname, although judging by her friend's post, it would suggest so. Have you tried reaching out to him on Facebook to ask? She was mostly in New York and Boston, if that helps on where you look up obituaries. 

Hello,

I was also talking a lot with her and when we spoke last was September 2022; the time when she allegedly was seeing a therapist, too. I reached out to her one month ago, hence why I reached out to @ChicaSkas today.

 

Her struggle helped me with internal homophobia and transphobia, I am so sad I can't repay her for making me better by just existing. She was always a winner in my eyes and she always will be.

Also, the name Dylan is popping in my head when I think about her, maybe it rings your bells.

[Gimme More 34,635]

This is so sad  I remember her being so lovely. RIP 

[Glamourpuss 29,062]

Oh no this is terrible news. As soon as I saw her name I remembered her photograph. She always seemed so nice and I associated her as an original fan because she's been around for so long. This is so sad. 

[VTV 11,225]

Was that real? 

If so omg RIP  i remember her from the good old ggd days. Her posts and struggles. I hope she's in a better place now.

[artdoll 44,892]

This is so saddening to hear. I can't believe it. 

[ChicaSkas 21,534]

2 hours ago, StrawberryBlond said:

My jaw dropped when I saw the update to this. I guess now I can give a more detailed story because I no longer have to protect her privacy.

Nikki and I go way back. She's the first person I formed a friendship with here. She was a keen songwriter and wished to become famous and would always send me songs she'd written, inspired by some of her favourite artists like Gaga, Lana Del Rey and Kim Petras. She suffered a lot through her quest to transition, especially with gaining acceptance from her dad, although he started to come around to her towards the end. She was unlucky in love but love was what she really wanted. If I remember rightly, she did marry her boyfriend but divorced him very quickly and moved on with a new man but that eventually ended too. She started dabbling in lower grade drugs like weed and mushrooms to cope with mental struggles. The most tragic thing was her battle with depression and her suicide attempts. I remember the time she sent me a message saying she was going to do it and saying goodbye and I freaked out, knowing that I was the last person who could stop her and I'd feel so guilty if she did it but I was helplessly through a screen and halfway across the world. In desperation, I made a GGD thread, asking everyone to band together and send her well wishes so she knew she was needed and loved and amazingly, she stayed with us but she privately made me promise that if she ever tried to do this again that I wouldn't resort to these measures. So, when she did later on tell me she was going to do it once more (she even sent me a photo of what she was going to use which was so disturbing), I just clammed up and prayed God would watch over her. Again, she didn't follow through and thankfully, attempts became a thing of the past, though she still struggled emotionally with depression for years after. She took a big break from the forum and when she came back, she was telling me that she was dating Post Malone's cousin (I know, I still don't know how they met) and shockingly, that she was taking coke at parties, which was the hardest drug she'd ever taken. I was shocked and told her she really shouldn't but she insisted it was fine and she was taking it responsibly. We last spoke in September of 2022 with her giving no indication she was leaving and ever since, I've been fearing that she died of an overdose more than suicide. I've kept hopeful that she would come back very soon. I was actually getting a feeling that she'd return in about a month or two. Sadly, that feeling was actually this topic announcement...

Because of our age gap and the advice I'd give her, she'd affectionately call me Big Sister sometimes and I'd in turn call her Little Sister. So, I hope you're looking down on us now, Little Sister Nikki. Just know that we tried our best to save you and you'll be sadly missed. Until we meet again, 

Your friend, StrawberryBlond, aka Rachel, aka Big Sister. x 

 

Since she called herself Nikki, there's a big chance she could have been been Nick or Nicholas before? I'm not even sure if Hudson was her real surname, although judging by her friend's post, it would suggest so. Have you tried reaching out to him on Facebook to ask? She was mostly in New York and Boston, if that helps on where you look up obituaries. 

I might have found her. The website I found her on doesn't have a ton of info though. 

By any chance, do you remember her parents names, or siblings names, or where she worked? 

[ChicaSkas 21,534]

1 hour ago, Glamourpuss said:

Oh no this is terrible news. As soon as I saw her name I remembered her photograph. She always seemed so nice and I associated her as an original fan because she's been around for so long. This is so sad. 

She was on GGD since I joined in 2010 and from the first day of this site in 2011. 

[StrawberryBlond 13,579]

5 minutes ago, ChicaSkas said:

I might have found her. The website I found her on doesn't have a ton of info though. 

By any chance, do you remember her parents names, or siblings names, or where she worked? 

Sorry, no. She obviously had no need to say her parents names and any family were just referred to by their familial titles. To be honest, she never mentioned work, just personal life and would just occasionally mention 'work' but not specifics. There could be a chance she originally had an Italian surname because I believe that was her background. 

[ChicaSkas 21,534]

4 minutes ago, StrawberryBlond said:

Sorry, no. She obviously had no need to say her parents names and any family were just referred to by their familial titles. To be honest, she never mentioned work, just personal life and would just occasionally mention 'work' but not specifics. There could be a chance she originally had an Italian surname because I believe that was her background. 

That might be where the Savarino comes from.... hmmm this is so hard. I hope Ancestry.com has an obit or something 

[ChicaSkas 21,534]

Oh my God I'm crying like a baby. I just found our instagram messages from 2 years ago. 

I totally forgot I mailed her pokemon stuff to her home once. I have her old address. 

She was so sweet. The last time we messaged was when I sent her the uncut Chromatica ball recording from 9/2022. 

Ughhh this is so sad to read her words and know she is gone. 

 

I might be able to get obit information now that I have her address. 

[candiedroses 406]

10 minutes ago, ChicaSkas said:

That might be where the Savarino comes from.... hmmm this is so hard. I hope Ancestry.com has an obit or something 

I think she got married a few years back, sometime around 2018/19. They separated, I assume, sometime in 2020/2021. I still remember her married last name but I don’t wish to share it publicly, but if need be, please DM me. As far as I know she was Nicole Hudson. Didn’t know her as Nikki Savarino. 

Edited February 7 by candiedroses

[ChicaSkas 21,534]

3 minutes ago, candiedroses said:

I think she got married a few years back, sometime around 2018/19. They separated, I assume, sometime in 2020/2021. I still remember her married last name but I don’t wish to share it publicly, but if need be, please DM me. As far as I know she was Nicole Hudson. Didn’t know her as Nikki Savarino. 

My dms are full, is there anyway you can email me 

It's chicaskas at Gmail dot com

[candiedroses 406]

1 minute ago, ChicaSkas said:

My dms are full, is there anyway you can email me 

It's chicaskas at Gmail dot com

Emailing you now

[Spartacus 4,485]

How awful. Depression is terrible.

[ChicaSkas 21,534]

A small update... I found her ex on Facebook and messaged him too. So fingers crossed we will find out for sure. Having her old address pulled up nothing in the data site sadly