Harry Styles finds media’s obsession with him to define himself as outdated

[BBhomemaker 5,611]

28 minutes ago, Mr Mendes said:

I don't disagree with many of these points, but this just comes back around to what I mentioned about this growing idea that he has to be an icon for the community simply because he plays around with these themes. That's what I have a problem with. 

Whether people are meaning to or not, they're presenting him with the ultimatum of either come out and use these themes and this imagery freely or stop using it altogether. I understand that the community wants and needs representation desperately. I am in the community like most of us are desperately want to see more representation as well. But we can't force someone to be a representative if that isn't what they want to be. We can't make them do things the way we want them done. We're free to disagree with how they choose to do it, sure, but we do not get to dictate how people choose to express their identity. 

I agree that we should not force anyone to be something they’re not. If he is not a gay or bi man or whatever they put on him, its totally fine. I also agree that the whole icon thing have to go, not every singers have to lead fights even if they have the potential to do it. 
You say it yourself he plays around with themes, but for us it’s not just a play, it’s not a mask or a cap that you can take and take off, it’s not easy to live our daily life, it’s rare that we can pass invisible in a crowd of straight men, we look like them yet they recognize us right away no matter how hard we could try to hide it. Thats why they feels like he have to be true with this, It can be some sort of respect.

28 minutes ago, Mr Mendes said:

He is consistently being criticized for expressing himself in the way that he feels is most appropriate. There's all this talk about freedom for everyone to express what they feel and who they are however they want, but it all goes away when someone's expressing it in a way that isn't black and white. 

He has said multiple times now that he's not out here to be anything more than himself. He's not aspiring to be a mouthpiece for the community, nor is he attempting to be a leader in the community. All he's done is express himself and what his interests are, it's just that he's chosen to show rather than tell. That's his decision, that's how he feels comfortable, that's how he wishes to be seen and heard. Yet so many corners of the LGBTQ+ community don't seem to want to respect it. 

But he is neither black white or in between, he is blurry, we cant see his identity through evasiveness, once again it’s not something easy to do, most of us are in our 20s and still discover ourselves everyday, but he wants to be on magazines cover, he wants to break “straight toxic” norms and be talked about, he wants to be represented as a free queer symbol, he does use that. That he wants it or not and That we want it or not…he is associated with us. 

28 minutes ago, Mr Mendes said:

As for him using it as a selling point...sure, in a few ways it is. I can see being bothered by it. In my eyes it's really no different than what people like David Bowie did or what Adam Lambert, Lil Nas X currently do which is use their sexuality as a part of their brand. The only difference is Harry hasn't declared what his sexuality is, at least not verbally. And that's what the whole thing hinges on, simply the lack of a specific word for it. 

There is a very clear difference between being bothered by how he's choosing to present all of this and trying to force someone out of the closet. The overwhelming majority of people are doing the latter, not the former. Criticism is fine, but bullying someone over their decision to not label themselves but rather express their identity in other ways is absolutely not. 

I totally agree with you, absolutely no one should be outed or forced to be something he is not. I also agree for lil nas and the others artists. 
Even if i think that there is a difference between Harry Style and lets say..Shawn Mendes (sorry), Harry is also playing with medias about it, he is entertaining his fame with it, while Shawn..is trully affected by the constant harassment. Im not saying that one is okay and the other is not, I’m just saying that Harry knowns how to play games with his image and the media.

[BBhomemaker 5,611]

55 minutes ago, Mr Mendes said:

And I will absolutely be harsh on gay people when they're being hypocrites. I love being a part of the community, but I'm not blind to the fact that it, like any and all communities, has it's own issues, biases, and problematic attitudes that need to be checked. And I make no qualms about pointing them about because pretending they don't exist will allow them to keep popping up. 

Yes sometimes we can be hypocritical (me first) but it can come from anger, frustration or just not understanding what’s in front of us. Truth is im sure he will receive the biggest amount of love from the community through his career. But yeah on this topic i think they just ask for honesty from him

[Reality 71,859]

Oh, hold on now. Now what the f*ck is this sh*t some of you guys are saying??

There have been sooooooo many people out there (celebrities or otherwise) who don't "define" or "label" themselves something specific in regards to being LGBTQ+, and everytime they announce that, y'all applaud them for it because "yeah, f*ck gender norms and heteronormative standards!", but now when Harry Styles does it, it's "well, he should understand that he's privledged to say that" or "representation is important, so he needs to come out and define himself" or "think about if this was race; he can't have the luxary of just saying, 'I'm undefined'".

Firstly, you cannot compare race and sexual orientation in this instance. Race is a visible trait, sexuality is not. You can make the argument that "being colorblind to racial issues" is problematic because of the visibility of someone's race, but you can't make that argument with sexuality. Sexuality is a deeply personaly journey, and everyone goes through their own journies at a different pace. You shouldn't be trying to tell someone they should come out, even if they are a celebrity who has a platform. It's still a part of their coming out process whether they choose to come out or not, and you need to respect that.

And I'm sorry, but I'm dumbfounded that some of y'all think this is some sort of marketing gimmick from him. Idk, maybe I'm just blind to something, but Harry doesn't seem like someone who is "queerbaiting" people for financial gain. Like, come on. If Justin Bieber or Ed Sheeran did stuff like this, sure, then I'd believe you, but I'm not seeing that in Harry at all.

[Debithius 5,483]

He is obviously a straight male who capitalizes on the fact that both men and women thirst over him. Leaving people wanting more so he can earn more money is literally the only reason he won't say anything.

[KORG 4,756]

Guess what guys... its not his job to "represent" anyone. The end.

[flyaway 15,350]

14 hours ago, holy scheisse said:

Yes it “should” be that way but also……… it gives me “color blind” vibes when it comes to racism as a parallel for example. Yes it would be great if we lived in a world where color didn’t matter, but it does because racism persists… so isn’t saying like, no labels!!! We don’t need to label ourselves! Sort of like a slap in the face to anti trans and anti lgbtq policies and hate crimes etc thst are very much real still? 

 

Just thinking aloud lol

You just made a point. 

In an ideal world, using no labels should be the norm and it shouldn't represent an issue at all. Nevertheless, the hatred and the miseducation generate a real issue that should be adressed by its name. 

[Fanta 5,019]

8 hours ago, BBhomemaker said:

Harry style is an artist that plays with the ambiguity of being androgynous.

Androgynous?

[Bolkins 4,073]

“I don’t understand why people are obsessed with my sexuality” 

*runs around on stage in a spangled jumpsuit waving around a bisexual flag*

[BBhomemaker 5,611]

46 minutes ago, Fanta said:

Androgynous?

He don’t play with the characteristics of both genders norms to you ?

[HIM820 1,748]

I always feel like these conversations end up being round about ways that gay people honor homophobia that was thrust on us. Not all gay people wear outrageous loud clothing. There are many gay people that can pass as “straight” because they don’t give visual cues. I get he pushes gender with fashion choices sometimes, but I’m tired of hearing about the “queer aesthetic” you speak of. It’s not an aesthetic to be queer. We aren’t a monolith. I have a gay friend who said something he wore to perform was so f*ggy. When I asked why, his whole explanation could have come out of a homophobic man’s mouth verbatim. He didn’t even realize. 

[nATAH 42,233]

1 hour ago, BBhomemaker said:

He don’t play with the characteristics of both genders norms to you ?

none of the genders dress as messy as this

[bionic 41,830]

16 hours ago, LateToCult said:

He’s 26??????? I thought he was about to be 30. 

He's 29 this year. But stay young Harry  

[Fanta 5,019]

5 hours ago, BBhomemaker said:

He don’t play with the characteristics of both genders norms to you ?

He put on a skirt and a corset in a photoshoot, and took them off to return to being a masc-presenting white man. Androgyny isn't a costume.

[edengowon 9,841]

17 minutes ago, Fanta said:

He put on a skirt and a corset in a photoshoot, and took them off to return to being a masc-presenting white man. Androgyny isn't a costume.

YES THANK YOU.

had a straight female friend say the other day that she doesn't like feminine men 'except for harry styles'. he's as masculine as they come, he just wears feminine clothing. he doesn't present or act or seem to identify or behave in a feminine way. he as a person, is very masculine. it's like me, as a czech person, putting on a french accent then people saying i'm their favourite french person.

[BBhomemaker 5,611]

39 minutes ago, Fanta said:

He put on a skirt and a corset in a photoshoot, and took them off to return to being a masc-presenting white man. Androgyny isn't a costume.

That i agree, that’s what i called out on another comment