Jesy reveals she does not speak to Little Mix members anymore

[Gimme More 35,566]

“I haven’t spoken to the girls,” she says and falls silent before continuing. “It is weird because for so many years we were as close as sisters, together every hour of the day for weeks, sharing beds, laughing, crying just 24/7 the four of us together and then…” her voice trails off. “Nothing.”

She hasn’t seen Perrie and Leigh-Anne’s babies, I ask? She shakes her head. “No. I’ve sent a few texts, but that’s it. I can’t explain it, it’s like there has to be this distance. We were so close so you can’t do in-between, there has to be space and hopefully…” she pauses. “Hopefully at some point in the future we can all come back together. I love them. They are my sisters in so many ways, but for the time being we just don’t talk.”

It’s clearly a tough subject. Jesy has always been at pains to explain that her problems were never caused by her relationship with the girls. It was about the pressure of being in a girlband, which meant looking a certain way, singing a certain type of song (Little Mix were very much dance pop whereas Jesy’s heart lies firmly in R&B and hip-hop) and inevitably falling victim to the media and social media’s endless game of comparisons. Being the ‘odd one out’ for Jesy meant never being good enough.

She takes a deep breath. “In so many ways,” she says. “Doing a Little Mix shoot was always a terrifying experience for me. I would dread shoots, I couldn’t sleep the night before because I’d be so anxious about what clothes I had to wear, how I would look compared to the other girls, what people were then going to say.

“I look back and I think how crazy it got. I’d starve myself for days and I’d wear these corsets every single day, pulled so tight I could barely breathe. I used to wear corsets every single day to make my waist smaller, which is mental but I so badly just wanted to look like Jade, Leigh and Perrie.

“I couldn’t breathe half the time I was working and then my body would be covered in bruises from the corsets. But that’s how it was. My first nightmare moment was our very first shoot when the stylist had all my clothes in a size 8 and I’m a 12. They didn’t fit. I felt awful, I felt fat and that was how I always felt.”

She pauses and then explains that on the Boyz video she wore a crop top. “A crop top,” she exclaims. “Me!” I am puzzled because I think of the all revealing clothes she wore from her Little Mix days. “No. I was the one covered up as much as possible. When I danced in that crop top I saw my belly rolls in the mirror and it didn’t bother me, in Little Mix if I’d seen any belly rolls I’d have been crying and screaming for a big T-shirt. So I was laughing to myself because I didn’t care. It sounds like a little thing but that was a big moment for me.”

“I started using makeup and hair to mask who I genuinely was because I got slated for my face and my weight and how I looked. I did everything I could to not be myself. I tried ridiculous diets to lose weight. I changed my hair all the time. I got lip fillers. I did everything I could to be this girl people would accept.”

She sees being able to go bare-faced as one of the ultimate signs of self-confidence and self-acceptance. “I’m not there yet, but I’m getting there. I don’t wear corsets, I stopped the lip fillers. I’m still wearing makeup, but nowhere near as much as I used to. 

But for Jesy, fame and riches as part of being in a ‘hot’ girlband was the price she paid for having her confidence, self-esteem and sense of self obliterated. Relentlessly trolled on social media with thousands of vile insults too repulsive to repeat, she dreaded being constantly compared to “these three naturally gorgeous, super teeny-tiny girls” (her words on her band mates) and lost herself to depression, eating disorders and one suicide attempt in 2013. A cruel comment about her weight on Twitter from self-appointed Queen of Mean, Katie Hopkins, propelled her into taking an overdose and being hospitalised. (“No, Katie Hopkins has never apologised,” she answers when I ask her. “No-one has ever said sorry to me at all.”)

Speaking of that darkest moment, she says now, “In 2013, I genuinely thought I am never going to feel happy again,” she says. “Every day I would wake up and think ‘this is me now, this is how I feel and there’s nothing I can do to pull myself out of this. You honestly feel like you’re never going to move past that and that’s what gets you into that state of thinking ‘well why am I even here? What is the point?’”

This incident, along with her spiralling mental health and depression was kept under wraps. On previous occasions when I have interviewed Jesy she was always polite, but emotionally closed off. Those huge eyes were guarded and any jollity always felt forced and fake. At times, she was, even by her own admission, difficult to be around.

“I was a nightmare,” she says. “A lot of people who worked with me would have thought I was a pain in the arse and a real diva. The reality was I was a young girl going through trauma of people (on social media) 24/7 slating me physically.

“I didn’t speak to anyone, I tried to keep it all in my head and we worked so hard, non-stop, travelling all over the world, touring all the time… but I wouldn’t really let anyone in. I’d shut things down.”

Full interview with Glamour Magazine UK:

 

[RAMROD 111,449]

Don't think they will talk for few years, and that's normal. Every group that have members departed and/or goes solo would have this moment. It is the mix of everything. And once they feel enough being on themselves, they would usually gonna be in touch with each other again.

[enissa11 2,984]

further proves that all famous girl and boy groups are manufactured, this is sad to read.

[ItWasntLaauv 6,392]

...Balegdah

OT: It’s so wild how people drift in and out of our lives, especially after being so inseparably close. It’s all part of the human experience I guess, no matter how odd it is. Hope she’s doing good nonetheless.

[Gimme More 35,566]

2 minutes ago, ItWasntLaauv said:

...Balegdek

OT: It’s so wild how people drift in and out of our lives, especially after being so inseparably close. It’s all part of the human experience I guess, no matter how odd it is. Hope she’s doing good nonetheless.

She seems a lot better, a new interview was released today.

She says how much she loves the girls and that they are her sisters. She said their management would make her feel really uncomfortable and like she wasn't wanted, she said she is a lot happier with the team she has now.

 

[enissa11 2,984]

8 minutes ago, ItWasntLaauv said:

...Balegdah

OT: It’s so wild how people drift in and out of our lives, especially after being so inseparably close. It’s all part of the human experience I guess, no matter how odd it is. Hope she’s doing good nonetheless.

they never really cared for her, or they really never bounded deeply, Jesy was going through this hell and they never did anything to change the situation or make her feel better by dismantling the pressure somehow? it was a perfect illusion.

[Gimme More 35,566]

7 minutes ago, enissa11 said:

they never really cared for her, or they really never bounded deeply, Jesy was going through this hell and they never did anything to change the situation or make her feel better by dismantling the pressure somehow? it was a perfect illusion.

I’m sorry but you mustn’t follow Little Mix or be a fan to say this, those girls loved a Jesy and Jesy loved them.

[bionic 50,107]

11 minutes ago, enissa11 said:

they never really cared for her, or they really never bounded deeply, Jesy was going through this hell and they never did anything to change the situation or make her feel better by dismantling the pressure somehow? it was a perfect illusion.

Even if this were true, what could they have done to help beyond the support Jesy already said they gave her?

[Dayman 6,191]

16 minutes ago, enissa11 said:

they never really cared for her, or they really never bounded deeply, Jesy was going through this hell and they never did anything to change the situation or make her feel better by dismantling the pressure somehow? it was a perfect illusion.

   Eh, there's not really anything they could do to control what people say - they're pop stars not dictators. Being supportive to her personally was the best thing to do to avoid bringing a bigger spotlight onto it attracting more hate comments.

   Even when she left because of the things people said about her they were supportive of her decision. It's not shocking there aren't on speaking terms though now because it seemed like leaving the group was so she could be out of the spotlight - and yet she immediately started working on solo stuff and is about to launch her solo career with a lea single that even includes a Nicki Minaj feature?

   None of it reads as someone who was looking to get out of the spotlight but rather as someone who was looking to have their OWN. Which isn't inherently a bad thing, it's just odd given the all the events leading up to her leaving and then everything we know about her departure. There is probably some bad blood for them based around the same thing.

[Lumiere 5,744]

 

1 hour ago, Gimme More said:

No. I was the one covered up as much as possible.

I've always noticed this. There are a lot of live performances and music videos where her stomach or legs are always covered.

[Guest]

Hope nobody takes this and reaches. This is totally normal.