911 lyrics - meaning

[DiamondHeart326 261]

22 hours ago, MotherOfPuppies said:

Thanks for your post! So did I get this right? You don’t take medication anymore right? Because with type 3 it’s very difficult? And u believe Gaga is type 3? 
 

I have recently learned about the different types of bipolar disorder and I am pretty sure that I have it. (At least a mild form)

Can you believe that I just started reading about mental health issues last year and only because of Gaga? I didn’t even know what bipolar means until last year...

But I have always wondered why I have such high phases and also such low phases... and this is way different than just having a bad day ...   I thought I have a depression, but then I asked myself why I have days or phases where I feel like I could basically „conquer the world“... and people around me even noticed when my mood is y‘know like „too good“ 

I can be fine for weeks and then sometimes my mood shifts so quickly - it can all even be in 1 day with me - in the morning and throughout the day I can be very depressed, sad, without motivation and just feel like **** even without a proper reason... and then usually at night I can have a „manic phase“ and my thoughts are racing, I have so many ideas 💡 and just wanna be creative and cannot sleep because I feel like I need to do stuff... 

 

I have this quite often - the thing is that I believe my depressive phases aren’t that bad that I would hurt myself and my „manic phases“ are not in a way that I lose control and do stuff that can be dangerous... last year I had a phase where (for my normal standards) I spent way too much money... it’s really exhausting sometimes... I have had this for over a decade I believe and just thought it’s normal for me. When I read about it I was a bit shocked tbh

I also believe I have the type 3 - haven’t had it diagnosed yet... I’m actually a bit ashamed.  I know I shouldn’t be but I always feel like something is wrong with me or my brain. I don’t want my family to think they failed me or something like that.

 

and yes, I am a very creative person. Always have been

And yes sorry I forgot to say, no I don't take any medication as of right now, I suffer insomnia so I take a benzodiazepine for sleep only when I really need it and I take medication for fibromyalgia but that sucks too because the major affective effective treatment for fibromyalgia is a nerve medication called lyrica in combination with an antidepressant usually cymbalta or amitriptyline or nortriptyline and I take lyrica but every antidepressant I tried for pain just locked me into mania and it sucks cuz my pain could probably be managed with the drug combination but everytime I tried it was like ok so I guess I'm up for 6 days straight I think it's time to stop the meds 🤣 but everyone is different so if they suggest meds don't be afraid to try just be hyper aware of how they make you feel. Stick with it for 2 months if you can but you know your body so if after 7 days you know something is wrong don't wait tell your doctor or your psychiatrist right away. Most mental health drugs usually take at least a month if not 2 months before you start noticing the therapeutic benefits from them so remember that as well cuz my psychiatrist drilled that into my head when I'd be like it's not working lol he'd be like dude it's been 2 weeks you got to give it time🤣

[DiamondHeart326 261]

20 hours ago, binoftrash said:

I feel you honey, bipolar is hereditary on my moms side and It’s a high chance that I get it because I have been sort of experiencing the symptoms of it. The 2 weeks of sleeping, the 1-2 days of feeling happy and good with yourself and then going back to the sleeping. It’s not a fun illness, which is why i kind of instantly clicked on this gaga daily thread because 911 is one of the songs on chromatica that i genuinely relate to. I used to take an anti depressant after a suicide attempt and for like 2 months it was fine and then they just stopped working and after that things got kinda bad, and then chromatica came out and since i’m like in my mid teens i didn’t really get to experience TF, TFM, BTW and ARTPOP as a whole album and got to know the actual meanings of those songs and now i finally get to. so know ur not alone here. you always have a home with us  .

Sorry I replied to you by mistake. It's one of those days 🤣 but you aren't alone either!  We all got each other. People who struggle always got this heightened empathy towards others with the same struggle and we tend to take on each other's fights. I don't mind though I'll fight for you guys any day! 💛🧡