Shawn Mendes opens up about how rumors about his sexuality affected him

[Ziggy 11,870]

52 minutes ago, xoxo Craig said:

I'm glad he's addressing this. Its disgusting that gay men in particular have been feeding this type of negativity... just because someone has a feminine side, or doesn't act more 'manly', doesn't make them gay. 

I hope he's feeling better

It’s also LITERALLY what people have called for when they say to end toxic masculinity. Like girl, you can’t be this way and denigrate someone like that for being a non-toxic dude. Tbh plenty of cis straight guys would come to resent gay men for that so that he hasn’t is a testament to his emotional intelligence and character and I have no skin in this game and am by no means a fan of his work (couldn’t name a song). He needs to be left be.

[Zombiecat 16,778]

why does he let it affect him, it's only his gay fanbase that tongue in cheek joke about it but like did Gaga get all buthurt about having a penis and being a hermaphrodite? 

addressing it just feeds into it getting more attention, surely he has bigger things to worry about over the minority of thirsty gays hoping he's gay 

[Quartz 12,535]

Comments here are making me sick. It's like you didn't listen to him AT ALL. Some of y'all are bordering on victim-blaming. Girl, it's common courtesy to not hurt someone when they express their hurt. It's not his fault he got hurt. It's YOURS for perpuating cruel humor. If you can offer the same courtesy to someone like, I dunno, Sam Smith with their preferred pronoun, what's so different here? It's making me mad, honestly. Just leave the boy alone! MAKING FUN OF SOMEONE WHEN THEY'RE NOT IN ON THE JOKE IS ALWAYS CRUEL. What's. Not. Clicking.

[Ziggy 11,870]

39 minutes ago, bionic said:

Yeah he acts like it’s the cruellest thing in the world to say and is a career ending rumor. I hate to be all “some people have real problems” but... Why does this rumor out of all of them affect him so much, one might Wonder (available to stream now)?

Hope he gets all the support he needs rich his mental health 

It doesn’t seem like that at all. It seems more like he is hurt that people are so homophobic that he can’t want to braid his hair without being gay. How many times do you need to tell people something before it sticks? Sh*t’s maddening, I’m sure. It has nothing to do with being gay or not, but all the more to do with people constantly denying your reality by saying it’s something it isn’t. That’s frustrating.

It sounds more homophobic for folks to be like “Well that’s gay” when he’s doing something or behaving a certain way that isn’t harshly masculine.

[Mise en Scene 1,040]

12 minutes ago, Hyperballad said:

Don’t you love how the gays will complain about how "men don’t share their feelings or vulnerabilities, and they’re internalized homophobia keeps them from enjoying more feminine things"- yet, whenever a straight-identifying male actually DOES, he’s called a "closet homo" and "a hunty". 

Self hate and toxic masculinity runs deep in our own community. 

[Cookie Tookie 10,546]

I don’t think I’ve ever seen a straight man be so concerned about his own sexuality 

[Guest]

I always think he might be gay but i think bcs it's embedded in us as a society to think every single feminine guys are gays, while a major part are, many are not and it must be difficult for them to deal with these comments. I always thought Prince for example was gay, and he was straight the whole time.

[AVeryGagaHolyDick 25,712]

41 minutes ago, FameHookah said:

He is, its sad and obvious. 

 

You'll see a few years later..

You're disgusting

[SEANGT 5,299]

the correct way to respond ... see lady gaga in 2009 when the she-has-a-**** rumors went around. "So what if I do?" done.

[HausOfAntonio 8,021]

Assuming ANYONE’s sexuality is ALWAYS problematic. Period. 
 

The whole “gaydar” thing is deeply flawed and offensive. 

[bionic 50,107]

19 minutes ago, Ziggy said:

It doesn’t seem like that at all. It seems more like he is hurt that people are so homophobic that he can’t want to braid his hair without being gay. How many times do you need to tell people something before it sticks? Sh*t’s maddening, I’m sure. It has nothing to do with being gay or not, but all the more to do with people constantly denying your reality by saying it’s something it isn’t. That’s frustrating.

It sounds more homophobic for folks to be like “Well that’s gay” when he’s doing something or behaving a certain way that isn’t harshly masculine.

Look at Ryan Seacrest 

[Mise en Scene 1,040]

4 minutes ago, SEANGT said:

the correct way to respond ... see lady gaga in 2009 when the she-has-a-**** rumors went around. "So what if I do?" done.

I’ll never forget when she flat out said she has a “really big donkey d*ck” during a TV interview. 

[Stephen 30,426]

It's just weird that he's so affected by it. I wish he had more of a IDGAF attitude. He seems so afraid of being labeled gay  But I understand it must be frustrating. 

[luckyanderson 379]

58 minutes ago, FameHookah said:

He is, its sad and obvious. 

 

You'll see a few years later..

If he isn't, his relationship with Camila is at least fake. That is a fact.

[FaeMonster 105]

1 hour ago, Trenlord said:

This is how a lot of people let it get to them when they are not actually gay.

I was accused of being gay earlier on in my high school life. It caused me to resent the gay community in particular because they were the ones who were actually accusing me and would not take my responses for value (this happens in every Shawn Mendes thread on here too - the gays love to judge someone's sexuality). I had some straight guys occasionally tease me, but in those days they did that to everybody so I didn't really think anything of it.

I didn't view it as bullying, but I did view it as something that I could avoid and was based on actions or mannerisms I would do. 

I also went through policing my actions. "What if this makes me seem gay?" "What if that makes me seem gay?" etc. I used to be a lot more expressive. I used to speak in ways where I was clearly enthusiastic. Now I am pretty stoic, I speak mostly monotone, and it's hard to tell when I am enthusiastic. I am not as expressive through my emotions as I once was either. All in an effort to suppress whatever I was doing that made people think I was gay.

It is not a good head space to be in. As I've said in the past, I am bisexual - in fact, I like men generally more than women, but the fact that part of my identity was being disregarded and labeled as something else was what bothered me the most.  

The headspace isn't even one where "gay is bad and I don't want to make people think that." It was literally a case of someone removing a part of your identity because it doesn't fit their belief of who or what you are, based on whatever preconceived notions they had that caused them to believe that.

I really identify and empathize with this a lot too. I am straight but growing up all my classmates said I was gay and it caused me to be bullied horribly (pushed down stairs, beat up, have my things stolen) for all my school life. Funnily enough a few of my biggest bullies have come out and I see now it must have been all fear and not understanding of who they truly are and I was the scapegoat. 

For years I was afraid of being perceived gay the way I dress talk etc. And Gaga actually helped me accept myself as a teen and if who I am leads to people questioning my truth on my behalf then i dont care. However yes what you said is really well said It is a very stressful life to lead , policing yourself and your identity no matter who you are inside.

and idk what it is like for Shawn but its sad he feels stress by it. Hopefully this stigma that if a man (or even a woman) does X hes Y or Z goes away...