Spiked on Sam Smith: "You're still a he"

[whocares 2,122]

I was actually one of the people that voiced my confusion with Sam Smith’s story. I’m not saying I completely understand it now (I still have a lot to learn) but it is just common courtesy to respect how someone wants to be called.

[Borislshere 52,642]

1 minute ago, Akiki said:

Isn't pennywise called it. He doesn't seems an object to me. 

wow that was really f*ckin stupid. 

Pennywise is made up of a bunch of lights. Light's aren't people.

[TheQueenLG 2,469]

Just now, Akiki said:

But the Non-Binary people say that language is a tool. It would be easier cause it's neutral. No gender. 

I was serious about it. It would make sense. Why even bother using them? 

If non-binary people dont recognize the gender code why would they bother if IT is used for objects or not. 

Isn't pennywise called it. He doesn't seems an object to me. 

Not sure if this applies in more languages but IT can be used for the unknown. Not only objects. 

But why are YOU so hell-bent on making these intimate decisions about OTHER PEOPLE's gender identities. How is your opinion relevant? 

The only role you play is being considerate and polite to others and addressing them, to the best of your ability (reasonably), as the pronoun that they identify with. 

[ARTPOP2 3,948]

1 minute ago, KingRedd said:

I’m not in the loop when it comes to all the gender talk. But for me, it’s becoming a little much.

are you cisgendered?

[LordEnigma 11,313]

Just now, geopang said:

Lmao. “Preferred pronouns” flew right out the window huh?

It's an honest mistake and something I went back and edited 🤷🏻‍♂️ at least I can own up to it.

[AnglerfishbraBENUS 4,833]

1 minute ago, KingRedd said:

I’m not in the loop when it comes to all the gender talk. But for me, it’s becoming a little much. I respect everyone and always will but I don’t wanna feel bad and guilty if I see a man/woman  and refer to them as he/she. To me, their are only two genders. I love transgenders because to me they realize what they truly feel they are. I call FTMs he and MTFs she. But to say you’re not a man nor a woman is something my brain doesn’t understand and maybe in time I will but, to me you’re a man or a woman. You can be a feminine man or a tomboy but you’re still one or the other? Idk hmm

I don't think Sam is pretending he doesn't have a **** though. That's not the point lol You can be a man but still be non-binary 

[Akiki 3,900]

Just now, Borislshere said:

wow that was really f*ckin stupid. 

Pennywise is made up of a bunch of lights. Light's aren't people.

Sorry. Then it's the translation made in my country that doesn't make sense  now. 

[Morphine Prince 96,259]

The way this topic has some of you so BOTHERED is quite disturbing. 

Have some basic respect. If someone makes it known they’d prefer X pronoun it takes no effort to use that preferred pronoun. 

Don’t be a jerk. 

[ctherainbow 3,154]

24 minutes ago, Akiki said:

If I share a Mass shooting, does that makes me a mass shooting lover? You know... some people are not blind and can deal with different points of view. 

No, that would make you someone who wants to share the news.  This is an opinion piece, where the author’s views are clear: trans and non-binary people are invalid and he will not respect any of them.  If you wanted to make a specific point, why wouldn’t you share an opinion piece specifically invalidating non-binary people? You were very quick to throw the trans people you claim to respect under the bus in order to share someone else’s opinion that you only partially agree with, about someone else’s personal pronoun choice.     

Quote

I shared cause there are some valid points. But that doesnt mean I agree with 100% of it. 

Then why not put that in the OP?  Don’t get me wrong, I think you’re wrong to excoriate non-binary people, too, but in the interest of protecting at least the trans people you claim to care about, you could have at least done that.

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I still stand that Non Binary people shouldn't be a part of the LGBT. It doesn't make sense to me. 

Good thing no one person is the gatekeeper for the community, then.  Queer men used to exclude lesbians, then the LG excluded the B, then the LGB excluded the T, etc, but now we’re all here.  Progress keeps marching, and no matter how uncomfortable it is for individuals, the best thing we can do is continue to be kind, try to understand, and when someone does something we don’t understand, but isn’t hurting anyone else, just butt out of their life.  It isn’t hard to be kind and just let people exist.      

[KingRedd 3,139]

Just now, ARTPOP2 said:

are you cisgendered?

I’ve heard of Cis gendered but tbh I really don’t understand that either. From what I know it means a heterosexual man or woman? If so then no I’m just a man lol I don’t necessarily want to be labeled cis because idk... just seems easier to say male or female, gay/bi or straight. Other than that idk 

[ARTPOP2 3,948]

10 minutes ago, ctherainbow said:

Good thing no one person is the gatekeeper for the community, then.  Queer men used to exclude lesbians, then the LG excluded the B, then the LGB excluded the T, etc, but now we’re all here.

Exactly! We should be aware of the power dynamics within our diverse community since they tend to generate these processes of exclusion. Same goes for white gays, excluding queer people of color, disabled queer people's needs being ignored, etc. One should be able to acknowledge their privilege, and try to be empathetic cuz although our experiences are not the same, they are quite similar cuz we have a common struggle despite the other struggles we might carry

[KingRedd 3,139]

3 minutes ago, whipopotamus said:

I don't think Sam is pretending he doesn't have a **** though. That's not the point lol You can be a man but still be non-binary 

See and that’s what my brain truly doesn’t understand. No disrespect to any who is non-binary I just truly don’t understand how someone can say they aren’t a male or female. To me, you are one or the other even if you were born in the wrong body you can still call yourself what you believe you are but to be neither just doesn’t make any sense. It’s kinda supporting toxic masculinity in a way. It comes off as like this: 

If “Bob” is feminine but still has masculine ways he’s not “man” enough to just say he’s a man. It’s like he has to be something else because all men must be masculine and that’s what I don’t support or understand. 

[TheQueenLG 2,469]

2 minutes ago, KingRedd said:

I’m not in the loop when it comes to all the gender talk. But for me, it’s becoming a little much. I respect everyone and always will but I don’t wanna feel bad and guilty if I see a man/woman  and refer to them as he/she. To me, their are only two genders. I love transgenders because to me they realize what they truly feel they are. I call FTMs he and MTFs she. But to say you’re not a man nor a woman is something my brain doesn’t understand and maybe in time I will but, to me you’re a man or a woman. You can be a feminine man or a tomboy but you’re still one or the other? Idk hmm

I don't think you understand the difference between sex and gender... Which is okay, many people don't. But it's important to knowledgeable on these things. 

Sex is based on someone's biological chromosomes and their sexual reproductive organs. Ergo, a baby born with a penis is a male, and a baby born with a vagina is a female. If someone decides, later in life, of course, that they want to change which reproductive organ that they have, they can have a sex-change surgery. 

Gender is something that society has invented to make things easy, one, and to oppress people, two. We associate the word 'woman' with someone having a vagina, and then we make all sorts of assumptions about that person based on this association. For instance, we will say that this person is more emotional, has less of a capacity to lead, and so on & so forth. These harmful associations are not based on science or the fact that this person has a vagina. These associations are based on small differences in males and females (that are not substantial and should not be an arbiter for anything serious) and oppression of one people on the basis of their reproductive organs and genetic makeup. 

Does this help?

[ARTPOP2 3,948]

3 minutes ago, KingRedd said:

I’ve heard of Cis gendered but tbh I really don’t understand that either. From what I know it means a heterosexual man or woman? If so then no I’m just a man lol I don’t necessarily want to be labeled cis because idk... just seems easier to say male or female, gay/bi or straight. Other than that idk 

Cisgender (cis) means you identify with the gender you've been assigned as birth, so yeah you are. 

Then, what I have to say is, nobody cares if us cis people think that "the gender thing is too much", it's just not our place. What we should do is know that we are privileged in regards of our gender identity and try to educate ourselves about trans and non binary issues without being judgmental or thinking about our own comfort regarding these issues. Instead, we learn to empathize and understand more about what it's like to be non-binary or trans and try to be respectful of these folks

[TheQueenLG 2,469]

3 minutes ago, KingRedd said:

See and that’s what my brain truly doesn’t understand. No disrespect to any who is non-binary I just truly don’t understand how someone can say they aren’t a male or female. To me, you are one or the other even if you were born in the wrong body you can still call yourself what you believe you are but to be neither just doesn’t make any sense. It’s kinda supporting toxic masculinity in a way. It comes off as like this: 

If “Bob” is feminine but still has masculine ways he’s not “man” enough to just say he’s a man. It’s like he has to be something else because all men must be masculine and that’s what I don’t support or understand. 

There are two parts to gender. Gender expression and gender identity. Your problem is that you're conflating the two. 

'Bob is feminine' is about gender expression... Gender expression refers to the expression of either masculine or feminine traits. 

Gender identity is how someone feels on the inside. Some people feel like a woman. Some people feel like a man. Some people don't feel like either: that's non-binary. 

How someone identifies in terms of gender is somewhat irrelevant to how they express their gender in the form of traits. For example, someone can be assigned a boy at birth, and later in life, transition to being a girl. That girl could still be super masculine, if they wanted, because gender expression is not inextricably connected to gender identity. 

Am I getting through to you?