Singer refused liver transplant, feared gay donor

[McYves 1,612]

Ugh, believe it or not, there's a lot of people his age (mostly in small traditional towns in Mexico) with that kind of mentality towards life. I don't know why but I swear I can listen to my granpa saying/doing the same thing if he was alive. I don't know why this is international news, he's and old mexican macho and he's never gonna understand how polemical and stupid he was. I'm not defending him, I'm just saying that at least he's not intentionally being homophobic and he's just deciding things about his life. Whatever, that liver saved another life.

[Schizophonic 5,196]

1 hour ago, That J said:

Omg...

You just described me.  The water gain, the yellow of my eyes, the thin skin which bleeds and is see thru....omg. That is me right now. It's so scary and so uncomfortable and nothing helps it. NOTHING helps it. 

I'm not worried of what I may get thru a new liver. I just need to live. This is a true fight for survival and idk...it helps knowing someone here gets it.  You described ME and that's wild. 

Thank you for your words and I hope you are better now.

 

i´m sooo sorry for you that you have to go through all this. and i swear i really mean that with my full heart, i wish you all the best.

 

i´m better, way way better now. i still recive blood transfusions because my blood clotting is very bad and blood is literally leaking from inside my body through my skin, my eyes, my mouth... all openings of my body.

 

in 2017... it was the week of coachella ... the doctors told me that i wont make it and gave me 6-8 months if i dont get a transplant in time. and by that time they didnt wanted to give me a liver because i just stopped drinking alcohol a few months ago (in germany u have to be without alcohol for at least 1 year to be able to recive).

my body got heavier from the water and i got more and more tired every day. one day i went into my bathroom in my hospital room... i was in a wheelchair already. i stood up in front of the mirror and looked at myself... and i saw that dying body and i decided that this is not me, thats not the way i want to leave the world. i literally said to myself that i´m going to fight. i tried to stand up from the wheelchair... and i did ... and promised myself that i want my family and friends not to remember me with this sick body and helpless... i wanted them to remember me as a fighter and with a positive attitude until the last day.

i fell down to the floor of the bathroom and i rang the alarm bell to someone help me. i watched the marry the night video that day and the way gaga was in that bed saying "because i have nothing left to lose" gave me the strenght ... it was all i focused on.

i´m a scruffy more masculine type of guy, i never wear makeup before or something like that but the next day i asked my best friend to bring me makeup... i painted that yellow face in a natural color, overpainted the dark circles under my eyes, i painted my nails blue, painted on natural eyebrows and i shaved off my head hair because it was about to get thinner and thinner... i wanted to take control back on how i look and how people see me.

i decided to fight and not to give up.... and suddenly my body did the same. i know that sounds cheesy and weird... but it helped me during that time.

i bought tickets to the JWT tho i kind of knew i propably wont be alive anymore... but i had a goal to look forward to. i watched gaga interviews all day... the way she pretended to be a superstar when she was not yet...  she said she tells a lie over and over until it becomes the truth... and thats what i did as well. i told my mum that i not hope to survive anymore... i decided to survive and that i know that i will (that was a lie back then).

 

and somehow.... it worked. i did everything the doctors wanted me to do. i slept as much as possible to save my energy.

 

u might think i´m full of **** right now... but its really how it worked for me. and propably its the reason why i love gaga so much and really became "obsessed" with her during that time.

 

right in time for the JWT i was way better and my doctor gave me the okay to go to the concert....unfortunally she canceled the first time and postportuned all europe dates (original was september ... the later one was in january.... i was told to be death by october or november) so i decided i have to make it at least until the new dates. and i did.

 

feel free to pm me whenever you want.... sorry for beeing messy right now... as u might can imagine, its a roguh topic.

i almost cry thinking about how much i want to hug you right now.

 

right now my liver is so much better, i still need a transplant but the doctors said i have "5...maybe 10... or even 15 years" until its urgent. out of the hospital since december 2017.

[That J 12,166]

1 hour ago, Schizophonic said:

 

i´m sooo sorry for you that you have to go through all this. and i swear i really mean that with my full heart, i wish you all the best.

 

i´m better, way way better now. i still recive blood transfusions because my blood clotting is very bad and blood is literally leaking from inside my body through my skin, my eyes, my mouth... all openings of my body.

 

in 2017... it was the week of coachella ... the doctors told me that i wont make it and gave me 6-8 months if i dont get a transplant in time. and by that time they didnt wanted to give me a liver because i just stopped drinking alcohol a few months ago (in germany u have to be without alcohol for at least 1 year to be able to recive).

my body got heavier from the water and i got more and more tired every day. one day i went into my bathroom in my hospital room... i was in a wheelchair already. i stood up in front of the mirror and looked at myself... and i saw that dying body and i decided that this is not me, thats not the way i want to leave the world. i literally said to myself that i´m going to fight. i tried to stand up from the wheelchair... and i did ... and promised myself that i want my family and friends not to remember me with this sick body and helpless... i wanted them to remember me as a fighter and with a positive attitude until the last day.

i fell down to the floor of the bathroom and i rang the alarm bell to someone help me. i watched the marry the night video that day and the way gaga was in that bed saying "because i have nothing left to lose" gave me the strenght ... it was all i focused on.

i´m a scruffy more masculine type of guy, i never wear makeup before or something like that but the next day i asked my best friend to bring me makeup... i painted that yellow face in a natural color, overpainted the dark circles under my eyes, i painted my nails blue, painted on natural eyebrows and i shaved off my head hair because it was about to get thinner and thinner... i wanted to take control back on how i look and how people see me.

i decided to fight and not to give up.... and suddenly my body did the same. i know that sounds cheesy and weird... but it helped me during that time.

i bought tickets to the JWT tho i kind of knew i propably wont be alive anymore... but i had a goal to look forward to. i watched gaga interviews all day... the way she pretended to be a superstar when she was not yet...  she said she tells a lie over and over until it becomes the truth... and thats what i did as well. i told my mum that i not hope to survive anymore... i decided to survive and that i know that i will (that was a lie back then).

 

and somehow.... it worked. i did everything the doctors wanted me to do. i slept as much as possible to save my energy.

 

u might think i´m full of **** right now... but its really how it worked for me. and propably its the reason why i love gaga so much and really became "obsessed" with her during that time.

 

right in time for the JWT i was way better and my doctor gave me the okay to go to the concert....unfortunally she canceled the first time and postportuned all europe dates (original was september ... the later one was in january.... i was told to be death by october or november) so i decided i have to make it at least until the new dates. and i did.

 

feel free to pm me whenever you want.... sorry for beeing messy right now... as u might can imagine, its a roguh topic.

i almost cry thinking about how much i want to hug you right now.

 

right now my liver is so much better, i still need a transplant but the doctors said i have "5...maybe 10... or even 15 years" until its urgent. out of the hospital since december 2017.

I am shocked. So much of what you said is IDENTICAL to my situation right now.  Even the "I have nothing left to lose" part.

I'm going to message you and talk privately. You have amazed me.