Jump to content
funny

Write Gaga's Best Picture Acceptance Speech


River

Featured Posts

FATCAT

"I promised I'd announce this tonight if I won! My new album is called Cheek 3 Cheek, and it goes like this:

CHEEK CHEEK CHEEK

ORGY QUEEN

THREE CHEEKS DREAM

CHEEK CHEEK CHEEK

This kitten over here (meow)
Link to post
Share on other sites

  • Replies 36
  • Created
  • Last Reply
Meredith Grey

“Thank you all so much *weeps and holds her face dramatically for a few seconds* Oh my god i can’t believe I’m up here accepting an OSCAR. I’ve been acting since i was 13 years old so this just means so much to me. I’d like to thank Bradley for giving me this opportunity and taking a chance on an Italian girl from New York. I’d like to thank my family, my fans and of course Warner Brothers. Thank you mom and dad for always believing in me and my dreams! But most of all I’d like to thank Tony Bennett for putting his cheeks against my cheeks and making me believe in music again. Thank you so much, I’ll never forget this moment!”

Link to post
Share on other sites

Chamaquito
15 minutes ago, Mariah said:

Probably the cringiest thing she's ever said

“When I watch TV and see those poor, starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean, I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff.” :huntyga:

Spoiler

I know it’s a hoax but still too funny

 

I’m actually nice.
Link to post
Share on other sites

GAGASLAYME
25 minutes ago, Miracle said:

I'm the first gay man to ever win an Oscar. Bye.

*whips out donkey d*ck"

add me@SC:pandas-rule37 IG@dallus_joshua.art
Link to post
Share on other sites

Miracle
48 minutes ago, Meredith Grey said:

“Thank you all so much *weeps and holds her face dramatically for a few seconds* Oh my god i can’t believe I’m up here accepting an OSCAR. I’ve been acting since i was 13 years old so this just means so much to me. I’d like to thank Bradley for giving me this opportunity and taking a chance on an Italian girl from New York. I’d like to thank my family, my fans and of course Warner Brothers. Thank you mom and dad for always believing in me and my dreams! But most of all I’d like to thank Tony Bennett for putting his cheeks against my cheeks and making me believe in music again. Thank you so much, I’ll never forget this moment!”

don't forget the mandatory alexander mcqueen, whitney houston and bowie mentions

 

Link to post
Share on other sites

PunkTheFunk
6 minutes ago, Derpplause said:

@PunkTheFunk I'm waiting henny for your Gaga best picture acceptance speech :huntyga: 

Thank you, thank you to the Academy, thank you to my manager Bobby Campbell, thank you to my home continent of Europe, thank you to my mom and dad [camera cuts to Christian Carino and Diane Warren in the audience looking confused]. 

I feel so blessed, you have no idea. I grew up 3000 miles from here and I watched every trifling untalented actress's name go up on that marquee year after year, month after month, and I used to dream that one day I’d show these basic a$$ b!tches how it's done. So thank you so much, thank you for dragging your entire family to see A Star Is Born. And for those of you who didn’t see A Star is Born, I hope you get eaten by a wild cat on your way out of this auditorium. I'm not joking.

Tonight I want you to forget the first five years of my career. I want you to reject anyone or anything who has ever told you that "Lady Gaga is just an autotuned pop star who reached her commercial peak two years into her career while wearing a dress made out of meat and has been on an unprecedented downward spiral ever since." I want to you to forget anyone who has never bought my music or told you that I'm not pretty enough or thin enough or can't sing well enough or dance well enough or write a song well enough or that I'd never win an Oscar or that I'd never flash my pu$$y on movie screens across the globe because YOU JUST REMEMBER that I'm a goddamned SUPERSTAR, and I am THAT B!TCH. Thank you, and good night.

religious-experience.gif

Link to post
Share on other sites

jayzer

I've been italian since i was 13

I love you all

make sure to buy my new soundtrack :vegas: 

follow me in twitter omg
Link to post
Share on other sites

Mr S

"I'd like to dedicate this award to Madonna. I know you've coveted it so badly and have tried so hard. And since you can't get roles anymore I kind of feel bad to win this on my first try so I'd like to share this award with you"

Link to post
Share on other sites

TheRoof
1 hour ago, PunkTheFunk said:

Thank you, thank you to the Academy, thank you to my manager Bobby Campbell, thank you to my home continent of Europe, thank you to my mom and dad [camera cuts to Christian Carino and Diane Warren in the audience looking confused]. 

I feel so blessed, you have no idea. I grew up 3000 miles from here and I watched every trifling untalented actress's name go up on that marquee year after year, month after month, and I used to dream that one day I’d show these basic a$$ b!tches how it's done. So thank you so much, thank you for dragging your entire family to see A Star Is Born. And for those of you who didn’t see A Star is Born, I hope you get eaten by a wild cat on your way out of this auditorium. I'm not joking.

Tonight I want you to forget the first five years of my career. I want you to reject anyone or anything who has ever told you that "Lady Gaga is just an autotuned pop star who reached her commercial peak two years into her career while wearing a dress made out of meat and has been on an unprecedented downward spiral ever since." I want to you to forget anyone who has never bought my music or told you that I'm not pretty enough or thin enough or can't sing well enough or dance well enough or write a song well enough or that I'd never win an Oscar or that I'd never flash my pu$$y on movie screens across the globe because YOU JUST REMEMBER that I'm a goddamned SUPERSTAR, and I am THAT B!TCH. Thank you, and good night.

religious-experience.gif

that was so beautiful and inspirational 

giphy.gifgiphy.gifgiphy.gif    

Link to post
Share on other sites

TheLameMonster
3 hours ago, River said:

 

(nasal voice) *sniff sniff* thank you believing in meee, when I was lil girl, I was 13 btw, I watched the first ASIB because it's the best! sorry Barbara (hahah the crowd laugh) and I felt something in my heart, like.... I don't know...

And now I got to play Ally, along with a phenomenon and talented cast, and Bradly, oh my, thank you for giving me this opportunity.

And thank you Christian, I love you!

To my sister, my father and my mom, my grandma and to you Oprah.

donate for the BTW foundation please, it's important to me.

Thank you thank you

I love you

Thank you

 

Now your turn honeys

 

and

I’m Italian :trollga:

I’m not flawless but I got a diamond heart
Link to post
Share on other sites

weed
5 hours ago, GrigioGirl1 said:

Are you talking about winning Best Picture at the Oscars? She can write a speech all she wants but that award doesn't go to her nor would she get to go on stage and accept.

The whole cast of the winning movie goes on stage for Best Picture usually, esp the starring roles, but yeah probably won’t say anything 

Link to post
Share on other sites

Hyzel David

“I’m so thankful i wanted to be an actress but music worked out first”:stalkga:

Link to post
Share on other sites

Hyzel David
2 hours ago, GrigioGirl1 said:

"I'd like to dedicate this award to Madonna. I know you've coveted it so badly and have tried so hard. And since you can't get roles anymore I kind of feel bad to win this on my first try so I'd like to share this award with you"

gGaMevUIMlle7D2lh2HZqSOy5pER0GneOeD1mez2

 

Link to post
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.


×
×
  • Create New...