LG5 will drop once Gaga masters the guitar

[PunkTheFunk 124,467]

Gather round by the campfire hunties and listen to my flop theory 

In a recent interview with Charlie Rose, Mark Ronson stated that he's been "writing" and "working for the past few months" with Gaga on LG5, and that "guitar is something she's learning for this record."

Now this statement tells us a couple of things:

1) LG5 is not finished yet

2) LG5 is not going to be released anytime soon because he and Gaga are still "writing"

3) Gaga is in the process of learning guitar for LG5

Let's assume that Gaga wants to develop her guitar skills enough so that she can play the guitar during live performances in the LG5 era (whether that's the LG5 ball or Good Morning America).

Let's take a look at this useful chart I found on guitarhub.com. 

Let's assume that Gaga wants to get to the Advanced level for the LG5 era, so that she can "play more repertoire and show musical awareness". Also, the fact that it says "most never reach this point" just tells me that Gaga would want to reach that point 

Gaga's guitar skills have historically been, let's face it, not great. 

This was her playing guitar at the BTW Ball in Manila in May 2012. Her skills here are very very basic: enough to strum one or two chords.

And here's Gaga playing guitar on The X Factor in October 2013. Again, her skills here are very very basic: enough to strum one or two chords.

Her guitar skills clearly didn't progress that much in the 1 year and 5 months between these performances. 

Now flashforward to the Met Gala in 2016 and Gaga's skills (and confidence) when playing the guitar have vastly improved. I'd say she's somewhere around Intermediate on the guitarhub.com chart. She can play in a band and hold her own and possibly improvise.

It took Gaga about 2.5 years to get to Intermediate (from the ARTPOP era to the Met Gala). Let's say she spent an average of 1-2 hours a day practicing and she's a fast learner. The chart says 3.5 years (or 1250 hours) but I'd say with everything taken into account, 2.5 years (or about 900 hours) for Gaga is reasonable. 

According to the chart, in order to get to Advanced she needs to spend double the amount of practice time she already has (so 900 more hours). Let's say she increases her practice time to about 4 hours a day everyday and she becomes an even faster learner because my math is wrong and I can already feel my flop theory crashing and burning.

This means it'll take 225 more days, or 7.5 more months (give or take 3 months because math) for Gaga to master her guitar skills in time for the LG5.

Therefore, I predict that LG5 will be released in August.

Okay f*ck this but basically what I'm trying to say is that it'll take her time to fully master the guitar for acoustic live performances in the LG5 era and therefore LG5 is not coming anytime soon.

...

Let the dragging commence 

[Red 98,020]

That actually makes sense

[LUO YI 6,089]

This reminds me of Madge learning guitar 

I hope 

[weed 73,902]

I think you're too formulated with the guitar playing ("225 days and then Gaga will be a great guitar player") but I think it's a plausible theory and it makes sense 

[SISTERV 3,887]

Believable. But I think she just is using guitar.....it's not the main component of the record, and most certainly will be piano.

Also pretty sure at this point we are getting something wildly different than what she's done before. Hopefully it translates well for the greedy gays, bc this sounds like a GP record for sho

[Iwontell 7,312]

Nope...she's learning just enough to be able to play her new songs...she doesn't need to become a guitar virtuose for that.

I mean, how many songs does your nearest guitar-playing/birkenstock-wearing/man-bun-rocking/scruffy-faced douche-y friend can play while mastering just a few chords and fingering patterns...? A whole bunch! Enough that you want to stab him...

And she's been studying it for a while now, so I don't think she's too far from getting somewhere...and if she keeps on studying, her skills will improve over time, in the next 4 to 5 years...

[PunkTheFunk 124,467]

8 minutes ago, Red said:

That actually makes sense

The biggest plottwist of my life 

If only I'd gotten the math right. This would've been a Nobel prize winning thesis.

[Florian 19,982]

9 minutes ago, PunkTheFunk said:

2) LG5 is not going to be released anytime soon because he and Gaga are still "writing"

Gaga was still "writing" Temple few weeks before the release of ARTPOP.

[RAMROD 109,672]

Damn, all these fans that wishes her to dance will rage then

 

[Jinzo 9,639]

yeah but remember gaga is a musical genius so she will probably master guitar in two months 

[Arizona Sky 10,913]

It has nothing to do with learning how to play the guitar. It has to do with whether the music and herself is ready or not. I think the album cycle will start around this year's VMAs

[Mr Judas 4,106]

Single drops next month. Bookmark me.

Album in August.

[LUO YI 6,089]

8 minutes ago, Florian said:

Gaga was still "writing" Temple few weeks before the release of ARTPOP.

Ikr? She writes till last minute... Hope she has the release date 

[GagaMegaFan 3,784]

I was happy that I can play guitar as the same level as Gaga but now 

[PunkTheFunk 124,467]

34 minutes ago, Florian said:

Gaga was still "writing" Temple few weeks before the release of ARTPOP.

And did it make it on the album?