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The very best fake Gaga story


Didymus

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Didymus

 

The Internet is buzzing about Lady Gaga’s hair stylist suddenly quitting after accusing her of being a devil worshipper — which is what everyone thought she was anyway. Michael Pooter, who cut Gaga’s hair since January 2010, took his family and went into hiding after making some wild accusations about the pop star.

Pooter said he decided to quit because he couldn’t take her staring at him anymore. He said in an interview for “Stylists of the Whores” magazine that when he confronted her about the staring, she told him she would eat his children if he ever told anyone.

"She was usually liquored up on cheap whiskey when she came in for treatment. One day, when she was mumbling more than normal, which I found out later was her actually speaking in tongues, I saw the number 666 on her scalp and I quickly asked for God to protect me. She rose up out of her chair and floated 3 feet above the ground while yelling.....

"YOUR GOD IS NOT HERE MICHAEL. NOR WILL HE EVER BE. NOW GIVE ME SOME MORE HIGHLIGHTS AND TRIM MY BANGS YOU WORTHLESS *beep*"

Michael, recently took his family and is living in an undisclosed location for the protection of his family.

Good-times.gif

Just to bring some perspective to the Leo mess :gaycat:

Post your opinion and memories of this 2011 GEM!

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Wasn't there a thread about this like a week ago :air:

But, yes, this is ICONIC 

I like dancin', and ponies....
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1 minute ago, Sunny said:

Wasn't there a thread about this like a week ago :air:

But, yes, this is ICONIC 

Aren't there threads about this monthly? So iconic we have so much to say about it years later :gaycat: 

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Just now, Nino said:

Aren't there threads about this monthly? So iconic we have so much to say about it years later :gaycat: 

True :gaycat:

 

I like dancin', and ponies....
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Katharine Hepburn

I can't stop laughing :emma: sounds like a 13 year old tried to write a creepy pasta 

xoxo Joanne
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ItsTommyBitch

:air:

I hadn't heard this in its entirety before, what a queen :flutter:

When will your fave float 3 feet above the ground and speak in different tongues :giveup: 

私自身もこの世の中も誰もかれもが, どんなに華やかな人生でも, どんなに悲惨な人生でも, いつかは変貌し, 破壊され、消滅してしまう. すべてがもともとこの世に存在しない一瞬の幻想なのだから
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PoshLife

omg I actually never knew where "your god is not here michael" came from. thank you for posting this!

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