ultraviolent 0 Posted May 27, 2014 Share Posted May 27, 2014 just give it a read and tell me what you think.. sorry if sad. The Beginning Don’t tell me that it’s all over over this heart of mine can’t take it I’m not prepared to endure your reasoning so im begging you, please don’t break it just close the door behind you as you make your way on out Cuz these walls are much too meager And these cries won’t soon die out And if you have to leave soon I’m hoping that you’d just leave And abandon me in the shadows Alone to my desperate schemes Just as long as I can remember The times where where we both began And i can keep your worn out sweater That smells like the epitome of a man THE TRANSITION: It’s hardest to say what hurts the most the ache in my heart or the arch in my toes The crack of the wood and the pinch of the rope the pricks of the thread as it kisses my throat Cuz even the sun Is in it’s weakest of state When the cloud start to bellow In it’s solar estate and as i lay in the palms, of my creators hands I still remember to this day, when you & I had began Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stephen 30,141 Posted May 27, 2014 Share Posted May 27, 2014 This is really good 😥 In the last line of The Beginning, I think you mean "epitome". Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
My Little Phoney 658 Posted May 27, 2014 Share Posted May 27, 2014 I quite like it but because of the short sentences and end-rhymes I read it more lyrics than a poem. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ultraviolent 0 Posted May 27, 2014 Author Share Posted May 27, 2014 This is really good In the last line of The Beginning, I think you mean "epitome". oh god XD thank you so much Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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