'Joanne' miscarriage theory

[ReidOne 12,427]

Please don't drag me. I'm just trying to explore some meanings behind the album that may not be apparent to the naked eye. 

Many of us have speculated over the last couple years that Gaga might have suffered a miscarriage in 2015. I don't need to post the photos again, we've all seen them. As you'll recall, the rumor about her pregnancy got so pervasive that she addressed it onstage during the C2C show at the Hollywood Bowl.

But something struck me the other day... when Gaga was talking about quitting smoking I thought "why did she start smoking again in the first place?" ...and then I remembered that the first time we saw Gaga smoking again was shortly after she no longer "looked pregnant." 

 

Which made me wonder, perhaps she picked up the habit again due to all the stress and heartbreak of losing her baby. This would also explain the breakup with Taylor... I don't know the exact statistic, but it's incredibly common for marriages/relationships to end after a miscarriage. 

Which brings us to 'Joanne'... if you listen to the album while considering the miscarriage theory, it suddenly takes on new meaning. And the song order seems to take us through a linear sequence of events in Gaga's life. 

- Diamond Heart explores her youth and her "birth" as Joanne reincarnated as a 19-year-old go go dancer/musician in NYC. 
- A-YO represents the start of a relationship (Taylor) and the abandon you feel.
 

Then it takes a turn...

- Joanne... imagine if Gaga is singing this song with double meaning. What if it is directed at both her aunt AND her un-born child? To further add to the theory, what if Gaga knew she was having a girl and intended to name her Joanne? It's just something to think about. "baby, you're just movin' on." 

- John Wayne and Dancin' In Circles take on new meaning then as well, as they represent the beginning of the grief process: denial. Burying your pain with sex. 

- Perfect Illusion REALLY takes on new meaning, as it could represent the decay of her relationship with Taylor AND/OR the "perfect illusion" of thinking she was going to become a mother, and then not. What better way to describe the loss of an unborn child than to call it a "perfect illusion?" It also follows the process of grief, with the 2 prior tracks representing denial/avoidance, and PI representing anger.  

"I don't need eyes to see, I felt you touchin me" is perhaps the most relevant lyric to this theory, as she could be singing about feeling the child in her womb, but unable to see her. And the "dilated fallin' free" lyric could also be a reference, as cervical dilation is what occurs during child birth. 

- Million Reasons also follows this theory, but in a much different way than the lyrics appear on the surface. Keep considering that the songs on the album follow a linear timeline. So far we've covered her early youth, her start of her relationship with Taylor, her miscarriage, her processing of grief, and now with MR, her desperate attempt to keep the relationship with Taylor alive. 

Hold onto your weaves and don't drag me, because this one is a doozy. But couples who have miscarriage typically try aggressively hard to become pregnant again (and this pressure is often what causes the relationship to crumble). OK, so I'm gonna say it... What if "you're givin' me a million reasons" is a metaphor for sperm? A man's semen contains literally millions of sperm. And it only takes one to impregnate an egg. 

"I've got 100 million reasons to walk away,
baby, I just need one good one to stay"

 

CRAZY, RIGHT?!

But as we know, the "one good one" never came and the relationship ended. Which brings us to...

- Sinner's Prayer. "I can carry you, but not your ghosts." I won't go into detail on this, as @PunkTheFunk has already done a masterful job exploring how this song describes in great detail the true end of Gaga and Taylor's relationship in this thread: 

 

So that brings us to the final 3 songs, which I think solidify this theory even more than I imagined to this point. It's kind of mind blowing --- at least, to me! 

At this point in the story line, Gaga has sung about having lost so much. Lost youth. Lost family. Lost child. Lost lover. 

What she has left is her family, her music, her friends and her fans. And the last 3 songs represent her "current" state of mind and how she is clinging to those things to remain strong.

 

- Come to Mama contains the obvious "mama" reference in the title. With the song being about loving each other and her seeing herself as a mother figure for those hurting, it is as if she is channeling that maternal instinct she developed during her pregnancy into her relationship with her fans and the world. She still sees herself as a mother and is finding an outlet for that through her music. 

- Hey Girl describes females empowering and protecting each other. I can only presume, but I would guess that suffering a miscarriage would cause a woman to become much more closely identified with other women and their unique shared experiences as females. This song makes perfect sense when you consider that. "...just know that I got you." 

- Finally, Angel Down... The maternal Gaga sings about the heartache she feels as she watches a young boy gunned down in the streets for senseless reasons, while the world let's it happen without justice. She's singing from such a maternal place on this track, and it is so spiritual. If you recall, Gaga also began posting scripture and becoming VERY outwardly spiritual around the same time that the miscarriage would have occurred last year. This song expresses her sorrow for seeing a young "angel down" and her intense desire to save him... that desire intensified by her inability to save her own angel down. 

--------------------

WHEW... ok... so I know there is about 100 million reaches in all the text above, but as I said, this is JUST a theory. Please don't take this as me trying to spread false rumors or start up drama. If all you have to say is "stop reaching, you're delusional!!!" please save your energy. 

After 9 years following Gaga, if there's anything I've learned it is that she keeps her deepest and darkest pain guarded extremely close. But she also tends to express the emotions related to it in her music. It makes perfect sense to me that, if in fact she did suffer a miscarriage, she would ultimately deny she was ever pregnant and also put her feelings about it into music. 

She's said over and over that 'Joanne' is about family and her own life experiences. Perhaps it was the simple act of turning age 30 that inspired her to record such an album? It could be that simple. But I have to wonder if it's not something more.... Is the woman standing at the back of the amphitheater holding a baby on her hip and a glass of wine in the other hand a literal reflection of who Gaga sees herself as at this point in her life? The baby in this mental picture could be very significant. 

Thanks for reading all this! 

[ReidOne 12,427]

How could I forget... one last, very important detail. 

The album cover colors are pink and baby blue. AKA, newborn baby colors. 

As Gaga is pictured, looking toward heaven. 

[Reality 65,743]

I was scrolling through this post and just instantly saw "100 Million Sperm"

[Cocaine Heart 4,768]

This fanbase has no boundaries. Pathetic. 

[display name 4,360]

Well, I can appreciate how much thought you put into this, but some of these thoughts just seem really out there to me. I really don't think Gaga had sperm on her mind whatsoever while writing "Million Reasons" for example.  

[Leaf 2,428]

[The Surrealist 27,470]

[donutellha 13,819]

oh my god

on another note, my bio textbook told me 300 million. what a flop  

[Chic 20,830]

So you and apparently many other people have been speculating for a few years regarding something that might have happened a year ago

This is an interesting theory though!

[Clip 5,100]

I feel like miscarriages are a really serious topic and I feel uncomfortable discussing about other person's (hipotetical) miscarriages on a forum

[London GUY 5,612]

Honestly other than the Million sperm bit , this does sound believable, especially Joanne and Angel Down, (we all know she'd call her daughter Joanne) and explains Come to Mama

[CherryBoom 367]

Thanks for sharing, but I think songs on this album don't even have double meanings. She even tried so hard to create that second Instagram meaning for perfect illusion, I think songs are just simple.

And I hope she never experiences something like that, I have relatives who miscarriaged and its a lot of pain for everyone.

[Shipper 12,765]

This is a reach. How many pinot Grigios did you have? 🍷

Gaga would have written a song specifically for this unborn baby and not let her/him just be a mystery to read inbetween the lines of her songs. 

She would cry and be open and emotional about this child and we will mourn a sibling with her. 

She was pregnant with ideas in 2015 and got a little carried away making pasta and cooking. 

[JustifyMyLove 2,561]

Loll what's this, when you mention she did look like she had a baby she was just overweight, 

I suffer from anxiety too and I have had these issues where when you feel too much anxiety you have to eat a lot and I ended looking like Gaga did, but obv she did just want to look fitter and lose weigh bc the new era and such, 💀💀 this miscarriage theory is crazy tbh 

[Batwings 12,695]

I just don't feel like Gaga would put a song about rubbing her vagine in circular motions on a concept album about a miscarriage.