Shangela from RPDR accused of rape

[misha4ever 968]

33 minutes ago, Benji said:

You can stay neutral and listen to both sides.  I’m not sure why we all now assume we must radically throw our weight behind one side when we don’t know the facts.  We don’t personally know the accused or the victim so we don’t need to have a damning opinion of anyone until we know more.

Me waiting for more information is being neutral.

[DpHitch1992 1,063]

20 minutes ago, MessyTop said:

I agree false claims are rare but not impossible. It just happened to Ricky Martin. We can support the accuser and support the accused until proven guilty. 
We need to let the authorities and the parties involved to do their job. 

False claims aren't impossible, but they are rare. 

I respect your opinion btw

 

[misha4ever 968]

35 minutes ago, Benji said:

 I’m not sure why we all now assume we must radically throw our weight behind one side when we don’t know the facts.

sorry but i have to laugh... you talk like the majority of victims are not believed by cops, family, general public... yes, we need more info, to wait, but your experience with your friend is the exception, not common at all.

[Cameltoe Chariot 11,804]

I've moved towards an innocent until proven guilty stance, with respect and endless empathy to anyone who makes accusations.

After what happened with Ricky Martin and the way social media (and many members here) tore him UP before it came out his nephew was lying and it was all a bunch of bullsh*t... I'm really not interested in these weird mob rallies that happen whenever someone makes SA claims.

For this particular instance, the alleged assault would be under the HBO umbrella and HR would absolutely be involved. The investigation would be likely be swift, thorough and fair because mishandling claims like this could RUIN production of We're Here and forever taint HBO. Hollywood doesn't f*ck around with this sh*t in a post-MeToo world. I find it odd that the accuser made their announcement on social media, especially after Shangela's DWTS run.

[DpHitch1992 1,063]

5 minutes ago, Cameltoe Chariot said:

Hollywood doesn't f*ck around with this sh*t in a post-MeToo world.

Ummmmmm.

[Cameltoe Chariot 11,804]

Just now, DpHitch1992 said:

Ummmmmm.

I am so sick of these immediate hit and run replies like this that do nothing but start sh*t on this site.

This is a discussion board and we're all invited to share our thoughts on topics, if you're too immature to contribute then why the hell are you here?

[SarahYuko 1,002]

I have personally shared my story of sexual assault on this website. I didn't name names, and nobody here knows me. And yet there are times when the memory of having opened up here makes me feel needlessly paranoid and ashamed. Them deleting the post is proof of nothing.

 

I've always known this website has its fair share of polarising opinions, which is fine. But it's disappointing to see, to this day, some top comments repeating nonsense. "Too many false accusations" "What curious timing" "But she's so professional!" "She would never do that" "Why did the alleged victim get drunk?"

Listen to yourselves. For god's sake. You don't have to default to believing the victim, but there's comment options other than victim-shaming rhetoric.

[Benji 20,113]

18 minutes ago, misha4ever said:

sorry but i have to laugh... you talk like the majority of victims are not believed by cops, family, general public... yes, we need more info, to wait, but your experience with your friend is the exception, not common at all.

Everyone has a view on where the line lies with rape.  I’ve been technically “raped” a couple of times, once when I was a teenager where I was groomed into having sex with someone I didn’t want to and as an adult where I’ve been plied with alcohol when I previously said no to someone.  Some people are shitty or some people make really stupid mistakes, I’m not one to see myself as a victim because I could’ve maybe acted differently and I don’t want to label someone as an abuser as it sticks in this day and age and I believe in giving the benefit of the doubt.  What if when I was drunk I was giving off the wrong signals etc etc?  If it was more physical, I’d for sure be singing a different tune on my two stories above but to me, it’s a grey area.

You’re entitled to your opinion but as someone who has been through it and seen someone be accused falsely, I don’t think the narrative of condemning someone straight away is useful for anyone.

[Cameltoe Chariot 11,804]

5 minutes ago, SarahYuko said:

I have personally shared my story of sexual assault on this website. I didn't name names, and nobody here knows me. And yet there are times when the memory of having opened up here makes me feel needlessly paranoid and ashamed. Them deleting the post is proof of nothing.

 

I've always known this website has its fair share of polarising opinions, which is fine. But it's disappointing to see, to this day, some top comments repeating nonsense. "Too many false accusations" "What curious timing" "But she's so professional!" "She would never do that" "Why did the alleged victim get drunk?"

Listen to yourselves. For god's sake. You don't have to default to believing the victim, but there's comment options other than victim-shaming rhetoric.

I completely agree with what you’re saying, and just want to add that what I take issue with is how victim support leads to immediately trashing the accused for so many on this site. Hence why I brought up Ricky Martin… mob mentality makes me uncomfortable, period.

You can support someone claiming sexual assault without potentially ruining the life of someone who may be wrongfully accused.

[DpHitch1992 1,063]

9 minutes ago, Cameltoe Chariot said:

I am so sick of these immediate hit and run replies like this that do nothing but start sh*t on this site.

This is a discussion board and we're all invited to share our thoughts on topics, if you're too immature to contribute then why the hell are you here?

You think hollywood gives a crap about SA victims??

[DpHitch1992 1,063]

10 minutes ago, Benji said:

Everyone has a view on where the line lies with rape.  I’ve been technically “raped” a couple of times, once when I was a teenager where I was groomed into having sex with someone I didn’t want to and as an adult where I’ve been plied with alcohol when I previously said no to someone.  Some people are shitty or some people make really stupid mistakes, I’m not one to see myself as a victim because I could’ve maybe acted differently and I don’t want to label someone as an abuser as it sticks in this day and age and I believe in giving the benefit of the doubt.  What if when I was drunk I was giving off the wrong signals etc etc?  If it was more physical, I’d for sure be singing a different tune on my two stories above but to me, it’s a grey area.

You’re entitled to your opinion but as someone who has been through it and seen someone be accused falsely, I don’t think the narrative of condemning someone straight away is useful for anyone.

I hate that you went through this I hope your ok and I'm sorry if my comments have triggered anything. 

 

[Mr Ricky 8,728]

11 minutes ago, Cameltoe Chariot said:

I completely agree with what you’re saying, and just want to add that what I take issue with is how victim support leads to immediately trashing the accused for so many on this site. Hence why I brought up Ricky Martin… mob mentality makes me uncomfortable, period.

You can support someone claiming sexual assault without potentially ruining the life of someone who may be wrongfully accused.

Completely agree with this. 

I'm sorry to anyone who has been through this or has been traumatized by own experience. But your trigger on this matter should not condemn one other's opinion on how they see this situation. I respect anyone's opinion. And do I have to agree that you can always support the victim, but also support the one being accused until proven guilty. 

I get really itchy on the fact that people are so ready to read someone to filth, but don't understand their point of view without trying it atleast. It's very biased to put everything on the "But there were  so many cases unsolved", yes true, but that doesn't mean YOU can judge someone else because you "think" this can be true due to own experience. 

I'm, again, not taking any side but please have some respect to the ones just expressing their thoughts about it. 

 

[Benji 20,113]

3 minutes ago, DpHitch1992 said:

I hate that you went through this I hope your ok and I'm sorry if my comments have triggered anything. 

 

It’s no worries!  The teenage thing took a while to get my head around but we move.  He was a very confused, closeted man but it looks like he’s sorted his life out now.  The alcohol ones are tricky, I like substances and I think there’s been other occasions people have taken advantage or tried to but in my mind, mistakes happen, they’re under the influence too.

Don’t worry, it doesn’t trigger me and I think it does me good to reflect on things once in a while.

I try to bring a little balance to these kind of debates because people like to really swing one way or the other but in my mind, it’s a bit of a grey area for some cases.

[alecks 725]

It’s pretty problematic how many people think that waiting for all the facts before cancelling someone who is accused of a shocking crime is victim blaming

 

Some situations call for nuance and thought rather than knee jerk reactions

[PartySick 134,069]

2 hours ago, Benji said:

I’ve shifted my attitude to innocent until proven guilty.  I had a friend that was accused a couple of years ago, even I nearly turned against him with the accusation but then later learned it didn’t happen… we should not condemn anyone unless it’s proven.
 

Shangela is awesome so it will be disheartening to hear if it’s true but I won’t be going off someone’s word.

This is a healthy attitude to have imo. Believe victims but allegations are just that. Allegations. Give those involved time to sort it out then base your opinion on the whole picture.

That said, some people in this thread have really bad takes on the subject of sexual assault  I know almost nothing about these specific allegations (I'll look later when I have more time) but your first reaction to a set of allegations shouldn't be to attack people on either side. Especially not a potential victim