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Maryjanesdope

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Maryjanesdope

today was my first day at the gay club. I was truly trying my best to have a good time, but i was overwhelmed with the feeling of not being enough. these guys able to proudly present their bodies was amazing but it also made me envy their confidence. i dont wanna sound like a pick me or that im trying to bring them down in any way. im so happy for them to be comfortable in their skin, but i just feel like im not good enough especially with the standards of beauty in the community. idk sorry for the rant

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JusKeepBreathin

The trick is to know that none of those gays feel good about themselves either. They pick themselves apart in the mirror too.

Just have fun. 

"Nothing in the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity." -Martin Luther King Jr.
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ARTPOP
5 minutes ago, Maryjanesdope said:

today was my first day at the gay club. I was truly trying my best to have a good time, but i was overwhelmed with the feeling of not being enough. these guys able to proudly present their bodies was amazing but it also made me envy their confidence. i dont wanna sound like a pick me or that im trying to bring them down in any way. im so happy for them to be comfortable in their skin, but i just feel like im not good enough especially with the standards of beauty in the community. idk sorry for the rant

I feel you :runhug:, even though others tell me I look fine. Unfortunately, body confidence is a virtue. Also, depending on how big your city is, there are usually gay clubs in big cities where it is a more inclusive environment.

Edited by Aphroditus
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RAMROD

Just know most people don't feel confident in their own skin, regardless of their age, gender, sex, and race. It took a long time for most people to learn and understand their self worth. And remind themselves every day that they are worth it.

Don't be too hard in yourself. And if some environment are affecting you negatively, try to stay away for awhile. There must be a tamer gay clubs that isn't solely about partying. I might suggest pubs that usually a little more lowkey. 
 

(ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ✧*:・゚ Not in denial, I am defiant (*´艸`*) ♡♡♡
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Gagas lil monster

I understand that completely. I can't even look at myself in the mirror. The best thing i can think of is doing small things that make you feel better about yourself 

With Peace and love
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Nathaniel Arven

Baby. There will always be someone prettier, richer, more popular than you. 

Because you simply cannot be Lady Gaga. But there will also always be someone to love you exactly how you are that is not from your family.

You can work on yourself to gain a little confidence (I mean it works so don't hesitate). Love yourself more. Look at yourself in the mirror and say how strong and beautiful you are. And that you love yourself. I did that for a long time as a coping mechanism (to fight some dreadful angels in my head) but now I can tell that I start to really love myself more in the right way. 

Finally my personal point : are you in touch with your palette ? My point is that sometimes finding the exact color to enhance your complexion can have a very soothing effect and give that visual confidence u need. It's weird but it's true. Giving yourself time to find your colors is something that can give you the extra confidence on your looks (does anybody ever experienced that ?) 

 

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Helxig

I completely understand that feeling of inferiority. When I first started stepping out into the gay community I found it extremely confronting to see all these other gay men who were so secure in themselves, who had such great bodies and faces and flaunted everything they had proudly, who were having experiences I still couldn't dream of. It's really hard. Sometimes you might think you accept yourself and all is well, and then a new kind of insecurity completely surprises you out of the blue. 

You're definitely not alone in your experiences :heart:  I think it means you are challenging old parts of yourself, and finding new ones. I've found in my experience things get better over time, but I don't have any advice on specifically what to do. I've been going to counselling to talk through these feelings and it's helped a LOT. 

Just know that you're allowed to feel these feelings so you don't need to feel bad about it. It's very common. Being gay is really hard. There's always some kind of inner voice or 'inner critic' in the backhround telling you nasty things about yourself that aren't true. Try to tackle that if you can. Hope you feel more comfortable in future!

I'll be myself until they fūcking close the coffin.
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S0436

Those types of gay clubs are not inclusive for the majority if you go alone.  I would only go to them with a few very close friends.  If you go alone you feel marginalised within your own community, which is an awful feeling.

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LittleMonster20

I’m so sorry, I hope you feel better. Just know that you are beautiful and everyone gets insecure sometimes, I’m sending you a lot of love! :heart:

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InTheCloset
8 hours ago, Maryjanesdope said:

today was my first day at the gay club. I was truly trying my best to have a good time, but i was overwhelmed with the feeling of not being enough. these guys able to proudly present their bodies was amazing but it also made me envy their confidence. i dont wanna sound like a pick me or that im trying to bring them down in any way. im so happy for them to be comfortable in their skin, but i just feel like im not good enough especially with the standards of beauty in the community. idk sorry for the rant

when i came to terms with my bisexuality i thought it would boost me up. but it only hurt me more because everyone wants perfect bodies. i went from 121kg to 73kg in a year. so i got a little loose skin. and that just makes it worse. 

just remember that u r fine the way you are. do what makes u happy.

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Alice 911
9 hours ago, Gagas lil monster said:

I understand that completely. I can't even look at myself in the mirror. The best thing i can think of is doing small things that make you feel better about yourself 

If I was your mirror I would tell you every day how beautifull you been 

Teddy Bear Hug GIF

''we're all mad here''
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