Explain ARTPOP to medieval peasants

[Customzanotti 1,750]

When thee touch me i decease, just a little in me insides, i ponder if thy gave me thou bubonic plague, the bubonic plague

[PunkTheFunk 121,507]

7 minutes ago, gumzy3000 said:

In the year 1960, a painter named Andy will paint a carrot onto a canvas. ARTPOP is basically the opposite of this. Andy tried to make the carrot very artistic but ARTPOP is about making ordinary things artistic. ARTPOP is also about being a famous person. Imagine someone who everyone in England knows. Imagine this person sings. This person is called a celebrity singer and that’s what lady gaga is. So ARTPOP is a celebration of her life and her story about being a celebrity.

Soundes like a floppe

[gumzy3000 6,467]

2 minutes ago, PunkTheFunk said:

Soundes like a floppe

Just like ARTPOP 

[Ariana Grindr 3,173]

44 minutes ago, PunkTheFunk said:

You've just travelled back in time 700 years to the year 1319. When you step out of your time machine, you find yourself on a farm in medieval England, surrounded by peasants plowing the land.

"Who're thee?" cries one peasant, pointing their hoe at you. "Get thy legges off me radishes!" 

"Ay, 'tis a huntye," cries another peasant, who you find lowkey attractive.

You just so happen to be wearing an ARTPOP t-shirt. One of the peasants pokes you in the chest and asks you what it says on your clothing.

"Oh, it's my ARTPOP t-shirt" you tell them, smiling homosexually.

"ARTPOP?" the peasants exclaim as they gawk at you. "Explainne thyself, or choppe choppe, thy dicke cometh off!"  What explanation do you give them? Keep in mind that these armed and dangerous peasants have no concept of modern pop music or art, let alone Lady Gaga.

You. You are medival.

[ice bear 1]

14 minutes ago, Customzanotti said:

When thee touch me i decease, just a little in me insides, i ponder if thy gave me thou bubonic plague, the bubonic plague

i want a whole record of that 

 

[Tom Nook 37,718]

Giveth me yond thing yond i loveth (turn thee lights on)
Putteth thy hands up, maketh 'em toucheth, toucheth (make thy real loud)
Giveth me yond thing yond i loveth (turn thee lights on)
Putteth thy hands up, maketh 'em toucheth, toucheth (make thy real loud)

 

[2School4Cool 5,348]

ARTPOP shalt be whatever thou desire, for thy ARTPOP... (dramatic pause)... could mean anything.

[LibraOctober98 3,456]

We walke to Canterbury, I telle a storie about a woman in a burqa, the goddesse Venus, a sweine, an apothecaire named Marrie Jane Hollande, and a gypsie. We walke, we storytelle, and I unfortunately passe due to Blacke Death

[River 90,877]

ARTPOP is witchcraft, burn me bitches

[bxr 1,016]

32 minutes ago, PunkTheFunk said:

 

 

Tbh, you could turn this scene into a one act play, and have the handmaid in the back (with her hands up, mid-make-‘em-touch) chant for the stars (that revolved around the earth at the time) and gods … (idk Middle English, so her script is a hybrid dialect):

Come to thee, in all your glamour and intoxicated cruelty … just do that thing that you do, in a perverse hue: A handmaid can withstand thine things … aye, she strides so evil like it feels so blisful, listen to her radiate her magick … aye, i need you more than swich licóur … Banish thine monarchy, this is peasant tapestry *curtains*
 

Spoiler

Then leak the prologue to Canterbury Tales … peasants love Chaucer:

Whan that Aprille with his shoures soote, The droghte of March hath perced to the roote, And bathed every veyne in swich licóur, Of which vertú engendred is the flour; Whan Zephirus eek with his swete breeth, Inspired hath in every holt and heeth. The tendre croppes, and the yonge sonne, Hath in the Ram his halfe cours y-ronne, And smale foweles maken melodye, That slepen al the nyght with open ye …

 

… that or join a monastery and a coven, and return to the peasants as a personified hybrid of divergent institutions

[ChromeAngel 3,230]

[CautiousLurker 16,578]

I'd just run as fast as my homosexual leggies could carry-eh thy fat gay ass, cuz in that situation I'd probably be about 5 minutes away from being burned alive 

Let this be a lesson to all of y'alls - don't wear an ARTPOP t-shirt if you're planning on time-travelling 

Spoiler

Wear a MAGA hat instead 

 

[Zander 14,817]

She is blonde, she is slender, she  has the riches, and she is something of a wench. 

 

[TheQueenLG 2,469]

2 hours ago, MonsterMom said:

I would tell them “ It could mean NEEEThing” 

 

[gabeoz 7,882]

They would immediately stone me for being thy hoemosexual