Meghan Trainor releases MESSY press statement to promote new EP

[Andreu 37,216]

Just now, FalsePromise said:

not that I know of

All about that bass #1 Uk #1 US

Lips are moving #2 UK #4 US

Marvin Gaye with Charlie Puth (#1 UK)

Like I'm gonna lose you top 10 Hot 100

No #3 US

[Teal Ambition 47,805]

[lost in limbo 6,035]

Honestly I don't even know what to say

I don't know whether to laugh or to think this is a disgrace to the underground gheys that invented this lingo back in the 20th century  

[Ziggy 10,346]

I wheezed. This is what straight gentrification looks like, folks 

[Ladey Gaygay 9,321]

13 hours ago, kabirartfling said:

Did a 14 year old gay wrote this ?

I-

feel targeted

 

[Eggsy 8,280]

9 hours ago, Adarsh Soni said:

How do you pronounce "Nnnnn"? Ive always wondered  and also "sksksksk"

Its easy.. Draw out the sound of the letter N... Pronounced Nnnnn... 

 

[Ladey Gaygay 9,321]

Did i write this

[That J 12,166]

Katy Bloom is planting seeds while Meghan is conducting trains. 

[LoveYouLots 180]

Hahaha this is hilarious, she's just a girl having some fun. Riding a disco stick can make you bring out that fun witty side of you. I say that by experience haha

[Gaga Monster 13,001]

[Allan 3,079]

It's so cheesy I can't help but love it 

It's like 50 buzzfeed writers put in a blender, then shat on and then vomited on and then eaten 

[StrawberryBlond 13,262]

"Whether you're planning on smashing bae's junk to smithereens"

"You know you want it. And you can freakin' get it, bitch."

"Unless your phone's been broken for a hot minute, you know that Meghan just got married to the ginger from Spy Kids."

"We know you want to hear songs about all the hot newlywed sex Meghan and Daryl Sa-BAE-ra are having (did you see what we did there?)"

"Billboard was wet for "All The Ways"

"But perhaps the piece de resistance (that's French for "Wig Snatch")"

"It's a little bit #Vomworthy"

"Our Grammy-Winning, Diamond Single-having QUEEN"

"Celine Dion-esque power ballad"

"Choo choo betch!"

 

LORD HAVE MERCY. Ten cringeworthy moments in one brief press release. What 45 year old soccer mom wrote this? In a world of #MeToo, who thinks saying "planning on smashing bae's junk to smithereens" is acceptable? Who thinks talking about being "wet" for something is appropriate in a press release? Who boasts about winning one solitary Grammy (unless you're Chris Brown)?

If someone knocked on my door selling a product with this speech, I'd slam the door in their face. Someone has to be fired.

4 hours ago, Andreu said:

All about that bass #1 Uk #1 US

Lips are moving #2 UK #4 US

Marvin Gaye with Charlie Puth (#1 UK)

Like I'm gonna lose you top 10 Hot 100

No #3 US

Thing is, despite this, she's still known as The All About That Bass Girl. Some one hit wonders have had more than one hit but the follow-ups are just hits at the time, they have no impact after that. Kesha also had a string of top tens after Tik Tok but that didn't stop people calling her a one hit wonder because those songs really didn't sell well and all the videos are still struggling for views 9 years later. If it has no impact once the year's over, how can it really be a hit? Hits are remembered years after their release. At most, she could be a one era wonder but to act like she continued being a hitmaker after that really doesn't hold up.

[Shadow 6,039]

Did she get one of her fans to write this? Was looking for the punchline...

[Thomas P 18,376]

20 hours ago, Supersonic said:

She's serving vocals on the passionate, Celine Dion-esque power ballad "After You."

This is the messiest part though 

[PunkTheFunk 121,498]

Did Katy Perry write this?