PunkTheFunk 121,494 Posted January 24, 2018 Share Posted January 24, 2018 Welcome to the very first installment of Gaga Eats! Our dear cult leader has been spotted at so many restaurants, cafe's, bistros, and diners across the world, that I thought it would be interesting to learn more about them! Come join me on a "virtual culinary hunty-nary expedition", where you'll get an exclusive insider look at the food spots Gaga frequents, the dishes and drinks she would've seen on the menu, the smells that might have passed through her nose, and more! I was going to call it "GastroGaga!" but then I realized that it may sound like a strain of gastroenteritis. A little bit about me: I am a food lover, and I don't mean that in a pretentious, Instagram-blogger-who-only-eats-gourmet way. I mean that I simply enjoy the feeling of having food in my mouth. I am not above McDonald's and Taco Bell; I will drink KFC gravy from a shot glass; I once accidentally packed myself a moldy nutella sandwich for lunch, but was so hungry that I simply ate around the mold; I have become friends with people just to gain access to free food. And when I'm not eating food, I'm thinking about it. TL;DR: I want to be the @ARTPOPthatbooty of food. ----- EP 1: Mangia in Milan This week we're joining Gaga in Milan, Italy, where she recently stopped on her Joanne World Tour. Let's dig in! Fun fact: "Mangia" is an Italian word meaning "eat!" PART 1: RADETZKY CAFE Our first stop is Radetzky, a trendy café and bar that's just a hop, skip, and a broken hip away from Milan's historic city centre. A quick scroll through its Google Reviews tells us that it's a great place to "grab a drink and shoot the breeze". It has a very lively atmosphere, and is frequented by "fashionable" and "beautiful" people. In other words, I'm not getting in. Gaga was spotted at the cafe on January 17 (the day before her show), serving leather cop gorilla chic. Radetzky is arguably most famous for its aperitifs ("alcoholic drinks taken before a meal to stimulate the appetite"). They also offer a diverse menu, with salads, sandwiches, oysters, and cold dishes like smoked salmon and culatello (cured ham) with a crostini. Seeing as Gaga probably came here in the morning or afternoon, we can assume that she stopped by for some breakfast or brunch -- and of course, some coffee. Coffee selections are offered for 3-4 euros and they're fairly straight forward: regular coffee, cappucino, Caffè D'Orzo (a popular hot drink made from ground barley and cream), Cioccolata Con Panna (hot chocolate), etc. If you love it when he calls you legs, they also have a variety of scrambled eggs (strapazzate) and omelettes with anything from bacon and cheese to shrimp and salmon. If you're feeling particularly hungry, you could go for the Radetzky Breakfast for 25 euros, which includes one item from the coffee house section, bread with butter and marmalade, mixed salumi (cured meat) and cheese, fresh orange juice or fruit juice, and your choice of an egg dish. Gaga instagrammed herself inside Radetzky, holding a petite cup of coffee. It's unclear which coffee item she ordered exactly, but I'd like to believe the self-proclaimed Italian gal from NYC ordered the Caffè Americano for the pure irony of it all. Below is a closer look at the cup. It looks like she may received it with the lipstick already on it, because she herself is perplexed by its origins. "Ruby who?" she whispers into her cup. A handsome waiter passing by glances at her. "Anything you need signora?" "Hm? No, it's fine," she says, with a forlorn look. "I'm Italian." "We all are, signora", says the waiter, and disappears into the kitchen. Also, notice the lone black hair from Katy's wig her coat in the bottom right of the photo. I think it's safe to say that Gaga only ordered the coffee and nothing else. If you take a closer look at her face she looks tired and a little over it. She doesn't even look like she's breathing. Maybe one of her assistants let one rip; there's simply no way we can know. In any case, this doesn't look like the face of a woman who just ordered an omelette. Punk's Pick (This is where I tell you what I would've ordered from the menu in an alternative universe where I leave my house and have more than 5 dollars to spend on food.) Strapazzate rucola olio tartufato e scaglie de grana (scrambled eggs with arugula (aka 'rocket'), parmesan cheese, and truffle oil; it has the longest name so it must be good), and succhi di frutta (Fruit juice) because I hate coffee. And maybe a torta con panna (cake with cream) for dessert. PART 2: DA GIACOMO It's dinnertime in Milan, and Gaga -- with her red gown and slicked back hair -- heads to Da Giacomo, an elegant and upscale trattoria. (*So upscale that ordering a water here would probably bankrupt me.) It's supposedly a favorite for VIP clientele, especially during fashion week. One of the defining features of the restaurant is its interior decor. According to their website, "Reseda green-painted ornate wooden panelling surmounted by embossed wallpaper, stucco details, arches and patterned graniglia floors make for a unique atmosphere that transports customers back in time." We love a time travelling Queen Seafood is undoubtedly Da Giacomo's specialty; there seems to be an endless array of fresh fish, shrimp, crab, and oysters on the menu. This place is basically Red Lobster's wealthy Italian cousin. From the raw seafood menu ("I crudi de mare"), you can get a King Crab and tuna tartare with avocado and crispy sesame for 35 euros, or Sicilian raw scampi (shrimp) marinated in orange for 30 euros. On the "primi piatti" (the pasta course) menu, selections include linguini with scampi and pumpkin flowers (22 euros); tagliolini with white truffle (60 euros), garganelli with calamari and 'bottarga', which is salted, cured fish eggs (22 euros); and spaghetti with lobster (26 euros). Things get interesting (and more expensive ) on the "Catch of the Day" (Pescato del giorno) and crustaceans (I crostacei) menus. For 75-85 euros you can get fish like snapper, grouper, redfish, and branzino -- each prepared a different way (fried, stewed, baked, grilled, etc.) And for a whopping 130-150 euros per kilo you can get yourself some grilled King Crab, Catalan lobster, or stewed Royal Shrimp. We're in the dark as to what Gaga ordered; in a perfect world she would have had an oyster baby (it's Aphrodeezy, Patrick Swayze, Venus, etc.). But we have to remember that she had a concert the next day, and eating a ton of seafood might not have been the smartest thing to do. I'm going to say she went for a simple lobster spaghetti, or even a chicory and romaine salad. (Here she is leaving.) Punk's Pick I'd skip one of my rent payments and get myself a few kilos of the grilled King Crab Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest bostonGUY Posted January 24, 2018 Share Posted January 24, 2018 I didn't read any of that but this thread is already iconic Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
WeSmokinEmAll 331 Posted January 24, 2018 Share Posted January 24, 2018 I read the thread as "Gaga eats Mangina" Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Babel 40,887 Posted January 24, 2018 Share Posted January 24, 2018 4 minutes ago, WeSmokinEmAll said: I read the thread as "Gaga eats Mangina" She created the gays, she can eat bussy for dessert if she pleases Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robo Ga 14,470 Posted January 24, 2018 Share Posted January 24, 2018 My mouth is watering 🤖⚡️ Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quartz 11,923 Posted January 24, 2018 Share Posted January 24, 2018 Hm? No, it's fine," she says, with a forlorn look. "I'm Italian." "We all are, signora", says the waiter, and disappears into the kitchen. GODDAMMIT Inside, we are really made the same. 🕊 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Madam Margolyes 7,783 Posted January 24, 2018 Share Posted January 24, 2018 ICONIQUE Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kimblue 7,334 Posted January 24, 2018 Share Posted January 24, 2018 This is amazing Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
AmericanGUY 4,609 Posted January 24, 2018 Share Posted January 24, 2018 this made me a full time @PunkTheFunk stan ꧁ 𝕛'𝕧𝕖𝕦𝕩 𝕡𝕒𝕤 𝕞𝕠𝕦𝕣𝕚𝕣 𝕥𝕠𝕦𝕥𝕖 𝕤𝕖𝕦𝕝𝕖 ꧂ Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
WeSmokinEmAll 331 Posted January 24, 2018 Share Posted January 24, 2018 21 minutes ago, Triggered said: She created the gays, she can eat bussy for dessert if she pleases I never said she couldn't Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chr 4,217 Posted January 24, 2018 Share Posted January 24, 2018 33 minutes ago, PunkTheFunk said: Gaga was spotted at the cafe on January 17 (the day before her show), serving leather cop gorilla chic. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
JohnnyVersace 8,535 Posted January 24, 2018 Share Posted January 24, 2018 Do more of these, please. This is the kind of content these uneducated, culture-less bottoms need. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeachJug 2,927 Posted January 24, 2018 Share Posted January 24, 2018 YAAS our mama loves SOM FOOD get THICC Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eggsy 8,280 Posted January 24, 2018 Share Posted January 24, 2018 1 hour ago, WeSmokinEmAll said: I read the thread as "Gaga eats Mangina" Exactly what i read also... I almost broke a hip on the way here. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Serial Chiller 8,044 Posted January 24, 2018 Share Posted January 24, 2018 The waiter's italian comment got me DECEASED. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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