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Gay men hate femme gay men

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ItsTommyBitch   Paws Up 8,354
ItsTommyBitch
14 minutes ago, Robo Ga said:

Masculinity and femininity are a spectrum, it's all related to inherent sexism... aka femininity being equated to weakness, etc...

It's fine to have a sexual preference for masculine or feminine guys but it's NEVER ok to discriminate gay men who act feminine. THAT is derogatory and rooted in gay self-hatred and societal homophobia. 

All people, regardless of where they fall on the spectrum, deserve respect. And if you are secure with yourself, it doesn't matter to you if other people are overtly feminine or masculine. 

The bolded is tea.

Men are afraid of emasculation, femininity, weakness, etc. and its all truly rooted in sexism. What does this say about their views on actual women :deadbanana: Maybe its pretty subconscious, but isn't most bigotry?

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私自身もこの世の中も誰もかれもが, どんなに華やかな人生でも, どんなに悲惨な人生でも, いつかは変貌し, 破壊され、消滅してしまう. すべてがもともとこの世に存在しない一瞬の幻想なのだから

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bostonGUY   Paws Up 2,840
bostonGUY

I mean I'm not into overly femme guys but they don't bother me as people. I consider myself a fair mix of both tbh. It's just personally not what I'm into for a partner. Maybe a hookup though, but I base my hookup preferences on if I find someone physically attractive or not so:sis:

But shame on whoever thinks that femme guys give gays a bad name:fthis:

Edited by bostonGUY
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♡Member of the Lonely Hearts Club♡

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Bebe   Paws Up 12,742
Bebe
20 minutes ago, M Monstre said:

I don't know what his preferences are or what he likes or dislikes. If he indeed means it in that way, I vehemently disagree with that. I understand what you're saying and I completely agree. Feminine men aren't "less of a man" than masculine men, absolutely, however, I do think there is a line between having a preference and being discriminatory.

I think it heavily depends on the situation and the context in which it is worded because right now, there are two different situations going on. There's the situation in which gay men are not attracted to feminine gay men, and the situation where gay men say that feminine gay men are bad for the community.

In my opinion, there's a line between saying, "Oh, I'm just not attracted to you" and saying "Feminine men aren't 'man' enough."

EDIT - @Robo Ga put it beautifully when he said that masculinity and femininity fall on a spectrum. People just have a preference over who they're attracted to based on that spectrum. That's not discriminatory. What is discriminatory and degrading is when you start insulting and degrading people because of how feminine or masculine they are.

Of course he meant it in that way... It's what he said. In regards to you thinking there is a distinction between preference and discrimination though:

When 71% of gay men say they are turned off by femme men and ‎41% of gay men say femme men are harmful to the gay community and give them a bad image - that's a clear indicator that people hold these particular biases when it comes to gender and gender expression due to this cis-sexist, heteronormative society.

I don't really care about Bill and what Bill likes, I can't tell much from that, what I care about is the aggregate. I care about what Bill and another over 5,000+ respondents find attractive and unattractive because it means we can generalise those results and see certain societal attitudes towards particular groups of people.

It's disappointing to see that society sees femme men negatively. They are seen as less attractive, as repulsive and as 'bad'. Clearly there is some cultural reason why 71% of gay men are turned off by femme men and 41% of gay men believe femme men are harmful to the reputation of the LGBT community. 

Edited by Bebe
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Gagi   Paws Up 476
Gagi
1 hour ago, GodofLove said:

I’m a gay man and my preference is manly men. Femme turn me off.. because I’m gay for a reason. I want a MAN. Not a feminine man. 

Yeah then you probably are feminine yourself just saying 

BANNED TIL 01/21/17

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New Compassion   Paws Up 2,443
New Compassion

Can’t y’all just accept each other’s differences? Goddamn it 

One half complains about gay stereotypes and tropes as if being effeminate weren’t a common trait among gay men 

and the other half complains about masculinity, but they themselves only go for “manly men”

Stop trying to control other people’s preferences and work on your own hustle. That includes how you choose to behave and who you choose to date. 

Edited by New Compassion
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GodofLove   Paws Up 2,549
GodofLove
53 minutes ago, Bio said:

I'm sorry to break it it you but you don't like men, you like the idea of what masculinity is supposed to be according to society.

Okay but like I said, I like what I like. I didn’t come here to put anyone down or to get attacked by all of you. 

I love myself a man, others are open to everything else. I’m not putting anyone down and DEFINITELY not demasculating anyone. Like i said before everyone has a right to express themselves however the hell they want. I know what I like and have been with him for 8 years and still going strong. 

I mean, sheesh, you guys take everything the wrong way even though I didn’t mean to come off it at all. 

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Blake   Paws Up 4,432
Blake

Some of the comments in here are disgusting.

I mean damn, it's great to know just because I'm effeminate means I'm basically a piece of sh*t to the gay community. :flop: 

tenor.gif?itemid=5418565

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Hades   Paws Up 14,015
Hades

People read too much into everything because that's how they've learnt from society. I don't like the idea of putting men into categories like masc/fem etc. We all have our days when we feel strong and kicking ass and those days when we are more fragile and want to be in our partner's arms.

What's giving people a bad name is their behaviour towards others and not what they wear or how they walk. :) 

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River   Paws Up 10,880
River

Every gay guy has his own little YAAAAAAAAAS Gurl inside that going out to play from time to time.. many gays are just in a denial that she exist.. you just need to give them a mirror...

masc/famme it's bullshit, all the famme that I know are more man than many masc..

Edited by River
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I'm not serious 99% of the times ;)

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GodofLove   Paws Up 2,549
GodofLove
1 hour ago, Bebe said:

Of course he is implying they're not true men.

"Femme turn me off.. because I’m gay for a reason. I want a MAN"

What else does that imply? He's gay, he wants a MAN - Femme men turn him off because they apparently don't fit the bill of being a real, or true, man.

It's far more deep than preference, obviously those men who are rejecting femme men to have a preference for masculine men, but that doesn't mean that preference isn't problematic...

71% of gay men said they were turned off by femme men.... That's a crazy huge amount of gay men. This isn't some "Oh, I have this weird thing for guys with green eyes! They're so cute!" type thing - this is a majority of gay men actively repulsed by men who don't adhere to specific gender expectations... 
 

Really salty you guys are reading it the wrong way but then again I DID put the wrong words into the sentence. I have no issues with Femme men. I 1000% agree that just because someone is feminine it doesn’t make them less than a man. I mean, come on, we all share the same genitals. A man is a man no matter what (unless you’re one of my tranisitioning sisters then Yas queen) 

I should have said it completely different and I can’t take it back now but my own personal preference are leaned toward masculine men. I’m sorry if I offended any one of you guys or if my words got twisted however they did. 

I know a lot of people are still going to come for me because of whatever but I’m stepping up and apologizing for ignorantly posting without really thinking. 

Edited by GodofLove
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Lord Temptation   Paws Up 4,336
Lord Temptation

I agree with the survey. 

I've got no issue with effeminite men. The same way I have no issue with butch women. Im just not attracted to them.

What masculine guys like myself are saying is that physical looks aren't everything. It's whats inside that counts.

So please don't call us shallow. We're the complete opposite.

 

Edited by Lord Temptation

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hunty   Paws Up 22,181
hunty
1 hour ago, Economy said:

This! Im a pretty masculine man myself in most aspects (ppl always shocked to learn im bi). I work construction, workout hard at the gym, I whatch mostly guy stuff on tv and have a lot of R&B and Rap music etc

 

But at the same time i have 0 issues doing stuff that isnt masculine if i so please like listening to pop music as well

 

For instance i also prefer to order mixed drinks at the pubs or bars cuz to me it tastes better. I dont care if my friends call it “girly drinks” and I wont order whiskey I hate just to look tough :rip: 

 

Also I decided to take 1 day a week away from weight lifting to do cardio (i still weight lift 5 days a week) and I decided to do that cardio day in an RPM spinning class. Ppl say classes are for girls but i say its motivational so ppl can STFU :) 

we're gonna need receipts :gaysia:

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Luk   Paws Up 88
Luk

stuff like this just makes me feel even worse about being gay.
thankfully, i only have straight girlfriends, who are much more open minded and empathetic then 100% of the gays i've ever met. this "community" is a glitter covered garbage bag.

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