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Transgender model EXPOSES Transphobic men on dating sites

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Lanius   Paws Up 953
Lanius

Shay-Neary_640x345_acf_cropped.jpg

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Shay Neary posted on Instagram screenshots of chats she had on dating apps with guys who rejected her after finding out her transgender status.


Some of the messages are pretty abusive, including one guy calling Neary a “freak” and another saying he couldn’t date her because he’s a “heterosexual male”.

Shay-Neary-3-650x453.jpg

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The model lives in New York City and works a day job as well as modelling.


She says: “I give people the benefit of the doubt when it comes to comfort… I’m willing to be more open to take things slow.
“If they’re not comfortable with where I’m at in my transition, that’s OK. If they still want to know me on a deeper level, that’s OK.”
Neary said she used to use PlentyOfFish to date online, but that her profile was repeatedly deleted because she is transgender.
She uses OKCupid now and says she asks “Do you know I’m trans”, rather than what she used to ask “Did you read my page”, in order to avoid abusive conversations.
 

Shay-Neary-2-650x404.jpg

Source: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-4641254/Model-Shay-Neary-opens-dating-trans-woman.html

Edited by Lanius
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HauntingHollow   Paws Up 3,022
HauntingHollow

Just becuz they dont want her does NOT mean they are transphobic :saladga:

EDIT: I can see that that one guy talking about freakshow, so he is transphobic

the others not so much

Stop quoting me, i do not have enough energy to reply to all of you

Report me if u want :icega:

EDIT: i see new examples of transphobic guys appeared here

now i look a mess :saladga:

Edited by Moncher
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  • excuse me no 1
You can not hide if nobody pays attention to you :*

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JamesFox   Paws Up 1,629
JamesFox
2 minutes ago, Moncher said:

Just becuz they dont want her does NOT mean they are transphobic :saladga:

This. I don't agree with her being abused, but if a male rejects her it doesn't mean he's transphobic. I couldn't get with a transman that's just being honest. 

Edited by JamesFox
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Lanius   Paws Up 953
Lanius
Just now, Moncher said:

Just becuz they dont want her does NOT mean they are transphobic :saladga:

One of the guys said that they weren't interested in her because he was an Heterosexual MAN.  Basically implying that she's not a woman :wtf:

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Supersonic   Paws Up 21,111
Supersonic
1 minute ago, Moncher said:

Just becuz they dont want her does NOT mean they are transphobic :saladga:

They were the ones hitting her up in the first place and then dropped her when they found out she was trans. That's the definition of transphobic.

A "Just because I think gay people should rot in hell and deserve no human rights, doesn't mean I'm homophobic." tea.

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Majestic, the future is electric.

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Sizzily   Paws Up 12,935
Sizzily

Is anyone really surprised?

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Who is this irresistible creature who has an insatiable love for the dead?

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lodylody   Paws Up 654
lodylody
4 minutes ago, Moncher said:

Just becuz they dont want her does NOT mean they are transphobic :saladga:

I agree with this.

However, the examples above are slightly transphobic (or in some cases probably just ignorant) just because of the way they handle the situation.

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Delusional Aura   Paws Up 3,550
Delusional Aura
7 minutes ago, Moncher said:

Just becuz they dont want her does NOT mean they are transphobic :saladga:

You do realize one of the guys said he's a heterosexual guy and another said she should have being a freak show as her status right? So explain to me where the lack of transphobia is you moron? :oprah:

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lodylody   Paws Up 654
lodylody
5 minutes ago, Supersonic said:

They were the ones hitting her up in the first place and then dropped her when they found out she was trans. That's the definition of transphobic.

A "Just because I think gay people should rot in hell and deserve no human rights, doesn't mean I'm homophobic." tea.

It's a perfectly valid sexual preference to not be attracted to trans men. For example, if a trans man has a vagina, I am not attracted to vaginas and that's perfectly reasonable.

You can't say I'm transphobic just because I won't date a man with a vagina. That's being vaginaphobic and nothing more.

(EDIT: I will reiterate though, that the men shown are transphobic for calling her a freak show, etc).

(EDIT 2: And I know the example above is a trans woman, I'm just putting it into an easier example for me to explain.)

Edited by lodylody
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codymonster   Paws Up 1,756
codymonster

So would I be homophobic if I said that I didn't want to date a gay man because that's not what I'm into? :saladga: She needs to chiiiiiilllllll. Yes, a few of the examples were rude and transphobic, but the other two were very polite about it. People have tastes, and you don't fit theirs. They don't want to date you, move onnnnnn :lana:

Edited by codymonster
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Miel   Paws Up 4,464
Miel

I know a lot of people are still on the fence with it, but I still think a relationship between a heterosexual man and a trans woman can still be defined as "heterosexual". Considering it's still between a man and a woman.

While I very much disagree with the men and their statements, it is something to acknowledge that, unfortunately, there are still going to be hangups on that dynamic because of a lifetime of socialized homo- and transphobia.

For example, the man stating he's a heterosexual male and is not interested. In an ideal world, his disinterest would be on her character or aesthetic, not based on her being trans or not. But, he's being polite, and honestly probably isn't educated and/or informed on the nuances of issues like this.

Of course, not being interested in a trans woman is always going to be transphobic. That said, some of these examples very much are.

Edited by Miel
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3 points in and ready for more

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BibleThisWay   Paws Up 2,767
BibleThisWay

as much as a lot of those guys were assholes, people need to realise not wanting to date a trans person =/= being transphobic. A lot of straight people want to have children which is very hard to do naturally for trans people, so rejecting a person because they're trans is a completely valid excuse

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shoful   Paws Up 5,260
shoful

The first one is definitely not Transphobic lol 

 

Who is this lady anyway?

Edited by shoful
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New Compassion   Paws Up 2,243
New Compassion
On 7/11/2017 at 8:24 AM, Supersonic said:

They were the ones hitting her up in the first place and then dropped her when they found out she was trans. That's the definition of transphobic.

A "Just because I think gay people should rot in hell and deserve no human rights, doesn't mean I'm homophobic." tea.

No, that is not a comparable statement. A comparable statement would be "Just because I'm not attracted to women does not mean I'm misogynistic or hate women."

This is no different than a straight woman not being attracted to other women or gay men not being attracted to women. 

Spin this whatever way you want, but what this comes down to sex, physical attraction, and the genitals that you have between your legs. I am all for trans people having the respect and rights they deserve as human beings, but you CANNOT force sexual attraction. That first guy was very polite about the situation and does not deserve to be antagonized like this. The other guy though....

And it's not like there arent plenty of (ATTRACTIVE) men out there who actively seek transgirls. Focus energy into finding those men. 

Edited by New Compassion
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PaperIz   Paws Up 7,164
PaperIz

These guys were really awful about it like sheesh except the first guy, his answer was problematic but at least he was nice. Not being attracted to someone who is trans doesn't mean you HAVE to be transphobic.

Edited by PaperIz
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